Men think that simple things are complicated, and women think that complex things are simple, which is a cognitive difference, and the so-called things in this difference refer to emotional problems.
Today's recommended movie "Take Out Your Handkerchief" is about this emotional problem.
Of course, sometimes this differentiation will be reflected in many aspects, but today it is only about emotions, the emotions of marriage.
"Take Out Your Handkerchief" If you simply look at the title, you will be confused, and the film only uses a certain action in a scene to show the title.
But this action is actually universally representative, it is actually not a simple action, but a finger.
Under normal circumstances, when we take out a handkerchief, our next action must be to wipe away tears and other caring behaviors.
The party that operates this action must be male, and the party that is accepted is mostly female.
Therefore, the action itself will have meaning. How to understand this action? That's what this film is about.
A couple in a marriage, the man can give everything to the woman, the purpose is only one point, that is, to make the woman happy.
But in fact, women are not happy at all, men have no choice but to use various ways to win some respect for their marriage, but they have tried and failed.
Why a woman is unhappy may not understand it herself, but we can see it from the sidelines, because what women themselves need is simple and direct love, not love.
Everything we know here about a man's love for a woman is only in a state of love.
Men are willing to pay for women, and women can easily reap this kind of giving. But in the long run, such an effort has no meaning in the woman's heart.
Men think that their love is an unrestricted giving to the person they love, while women prefer direct love, hugs, or other love that does not need to be shown in various forms.
Men do not understand this truth, men think that the satisfaction of the requirements in marriage is all they love, but they ignore the appreciation of their wives themselves.
Out of a man's appreciation of women, this is the core meaning and value of love.
And that's where men and women are different. Two people do not understand each other, so the marriage creates a gap.
And this estrangement will deepen. Even in the end, the man finds a favorite object for the woman, and he does not mind his wife having feelings with others, just so that the wife can be happy.
This is actually an exaggeration, not just in marriage, but for men and women in love.
When one party often shows no bottom line for giving, it is the time when this emotion is the most vulnerable, and the man reflects this emotion at this time.
But in fact, love is not just about giving, but about discovering the strengths and weaknesses of the other person, and then continuing to love.
Men stubbornly believe that giving everything is love, so this love is deformed.
After recreating finding another man to give his wife, the wife did not show greater happiness. So, the two men were confused.
The answer to this question, however, was easily solved. The guy who came up with the answer was nothing more than a little boy, he was only thirteen years old.
In the Western world, thirteen is a not very good number, and this not very good number unexpectedly brings joy to the wife.
This was something that the two men had not thought of. In this deformed joy, several people behaved even more strangely.
This thirteen-year-old boy looked very strange in the group of classmates because of precocious puberty, and was often bullied by his classmates, but this bullying made his wife naturally feel pity.
Under the influence of this pity, the wife began to enter the heart of the little boy, and this feeling of discovery suddenly made the wife's eyes light up, and finally, the wife had a relationship with the thirteen-year-old boy.
This is a deformed film, the film itself is as bizarre as the story, but this film also has the advantage that it is a full range of expressions of certain emotions, and often the married life in our consciousness is carried out by the normal logical context.
But the logical context in this film is not normal at all. Against the backdrop of this deformed emotion, these people's behavior is less funny.
If we analyze it with normal emotions, the strange behavior in this film is only a restrictive exaggerated continuation of married life. In fact, if you think about it, all this is not beyond our understanding.
What is about marriage is not about giving, but about understanding. Two adult men understand marriage as materially giving in the way they think is good.
But this kind of effort can not give the wife spiritual resonance and comfort, so the wife has been sullen.
And this seemingly complicated truth, in fact, a thirteen-year-old boy is very clear, she knows what this woman wants, but also knows how to satisfy this woman's psychological comfort.
Therefore, he only used a sentence I like you, and easily captured the heart of this woman, which is a contrast, giving the right payment, far less complicated.
Seemingly complex and elusive relationships are actually very simple.
That's the nature of marriage, or the nature of marriage that this movie wants to show. Or a lot of exaggeration, but not at all superordination.
……
Hello and goodbye