Seeing a strange blind date show, the program arranged a male guest and three female guests to meet, and as a result, when they saw the first female guest, they hated that people had tattoos, and just sat down to leave.
Therefore, the program team arranged a female guest for him, the second female guest did not have a tattoo, but the male guest still had to go, on the grounds that he felt that the female guest was short and affected the genes of future generations, but the male guest was only 165 in height.
The program team suppressed the anger in their hearts and patiently arranged a third female guest for him.
This female guest did not, to look good, to be tall, to have a good personality, this time the male guest finally did not shout to leave.
As a result, when eating, the male guest took the menu to look at but did not order, but also said that he was not hungry, and the result was that when the female guest said that she invited the meal, the male guest immediately began to order, and also specially picked expensive points.
As a result, it is conceivable that the male guests are very satisfied with the female guests, but the female guests feel that the male guests are ridiculous to the extreme.
Although it is not necessary for men to talk about money, but at least to show basic courtesy, and moreover, if you really like each other, do not pay a little cost, how can you love your family, there is no empty glove white wolf in this world.
But what are the women who can make men willingly spend their money in real life?
Psychological research has shown that women who make men willing to spend money often have these three "hard powers".
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="10" > worth spending money on</h1>
Qu Lianjie in the TV series "Ode to Joy" gave her a shopping card of two thousand yuan when he pursued Fan Shengmei, and also invited her to play on the golf course, which looked very generous.
Does he like Fan Shengmei? No, he was just on a whim.
Because when Fan Shengmei cried and called and said that his father was hospitalized, needed surgery, and urgently needed money, only to see him swallowing, only to give Fan Shengmei two thousand yuan perfunctory, obviously he was very rich.
That's because he knows that Fan Shengmei's family is too complicated, it is a bottomless pit, it is not worth paying so much for himself, to put it bluntly, Fan Shengmei's value is not worth Qu Lianjie's boldness.
Men are rational, so when they do something, they must think about whether it is worth doing it themselves, or what kind of benefits they will get if they do it, if not, then they will not be willing to pay.
Therefore, we must learn to improve our own value so that our position in the relationship between the sexes can be consolidated.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="17" > know how to use "routines" and progress layer by layer</h1>
There is a threshold effect in psychology, that is, a person will not agree to a request with a higher difficulty coefficient at the beginning, but if a requirement with a lower difficulty coefficient is mentioned first, and then a requirement with a higher difficulty coefficient is mentioned, it will often be agreed at this time.
This is because people generally care about what others say about themselves, and in order to maintain the consistency of cognition before and after, they will agree to others' requests.
Moreover, there is also a sunk cost effect in psychology, which refers to the fact that when a person does something, the cost of time and energy and money and emotion cannot be recovered, and if it is abandoned, it means to bear the loss, and people have the nature of loss and hatred, so the payment will be more and more.
Therefore, based on these two psychological effects, we can be guided to better manage love and guide men to pay for themselves.
Of course, do not be afraid to talk about money, do not feel that talking about money is a very vulgar, very material thing, facts have proved that good love is inseparable from money, the economic base determines the superstructure, only on the issue of money to talk about, in the process of feelings will be at ease.
Therefore, we must learn to guide men to pay for themselves, but also learn to spend men's money, do not open their mouths, and take it step by step.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="24" > know how to pay, "courtesy exchange"</h1>
I remember climbing as a child, at the top of an empty mountain, involuntarily shouting into the distance due to the joy and sense of accomplishment in my heart, and then after hearing the echo. It's even more fun to play.
That's because the words we shout out are responded to, and we are motivated to keep shouting, and the question of paying in the relationship is actually the same.
If we have paid a lot for a person, we can't see the slightest response, we have been paying ourselves, but we have never enjoyed what it is like for others to pay for ourselves, then at this time, we will feel tired, and we will feel that we have paid so much and there is no point at all.
When we deal with feelings, we must not be too self-sufficient, we must learn to understand that love is a relationship that pays attention to the balance of supply and demand, it is necessary to go in both directions, one person works hard, one person finishes, and it has never had anything to do with love.
Therefore, when men spend money for themselves, they must also learn to "reciprocate with each other", of course, it is not necessary to be equal to the price of the other party, it can be a purchase, or it can be to invite the other party to drink a cup of milk tea and watch a movie, which is conducive to the other party to continue to pay for themselves when they get a response.
The End -
Author | Psychological counselor Fu Dongsheng
The main writer of love and marriage psychology | Use psychology to analyze love, marriage, and life
WeChat public account: love marriage psychology