The following text, written for a few days, was written on letter paper, and now one word after another has been typed out, I do not have the courage to give it to the recipient, and I do not know whether it is right or wrong to put it here, what the consequences are, I may delete these words at any time. These words, in any case, please do not denigrate, because it did not hurt you, and the person who hurt was me.
Because of the long length, it is sent several times, and if it is not appropriate, it can be deleted at any time. These words are to give yourself an explanation and let yourself slowly come out. Have you ever had such an emotion that you can't let go of?
The content may be a little unclear about what to say, and that's because there are some things between us.
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You may think I'm emotional right now, yes! Because you, because I want to find you again and again, find you to help me, just to get that psychological satisfaction, I seem to want to verify that you care about me again and again, you will stand in front of me, speak for me, because under that big pine tree, you said that what you left for me will always let me rely on, so when you ignore all this now, I will instantly collapse, ostensibly because someone provoked me that day, for example, guo was a little targeted at me that day, such as Wang asking me to change the bed, In fact, the fundamental reason is that you ignore me, you once said that you will always help me, which is my backing here, so when you encounter things, the greater grievance is your disregard. Calling you that day, I was very determined, but as a woman's reservedness, I can't say anything, I can only cry with grievances, and you hung up the phone at this time... The day before yesterday I rushed out of the door regardless of it, but also because you looked indifferent to make me uncomfortable, I rushed out of the door is to think that there can be a phone call, even if it is a message, and you have not mentioned a word until now, because of your attitude, I will be so aggrieved and emotional. For the sake of irrelevant people, will I be so emotional, what does he have to do with me, I don't care what they do. This message, I endured for more than twenty days not to send you a message, I have been working hard, and then hard, since you are so desperate, I can only force myself to put down, do not send more messages, to disturb your same look, once sent so many you do not reply, ignore, that is all humiliation, I can no longer run away humiliation, I endure, have been endured, can not bear to endure. And you are relaxed, finally get rid of these, get rid of me, finally no longer have my interference. The night before, I couldn't bear to humiliate myself once, sent that message, and still did not reply, that night my body no longer belonged to me, and my soul was out of the box.
Remember the last day of the holiday, we have been like strangers during the whole holiday overtime, you put me here, you are there, I know you want to stay away from me, I also try hard not to disturb you, although I will also pay attention, but I forced myself not to take the initiative to find you, and on the day of the holiday, you did not have a word, I do not know how to say, strange for a long time do not know how to open, I came out of the boys' apartment, you came across from you, I think you will talk, say something, and you may find that my colleagues naturally changed direction I turned to the others to say hello, and at that time my heart really sank into the bottom of despair.
After a few hours of rambling, I don't know if I'll give you these words. You will not look good, see if it will still be ignored, can I accept this result, but I have written, although it is the tip of the iceberg, only a few words, but I want to give myself an explanation, because my body has a problem, in this year's suffering, my body owes to pay back, do you remember those who also insomnia me, only sleep for an hour or two a night, that had to go around to find a stable day, now I may also have a little depression, the body also has some other problems, so there are problems on the face, It's all because of you, you and I know it, and I can't tell anyone. I can only say that I have physical problems, because the child is in a hurry, the real reason is only known to myself, I think you also understand, I said so much, you don't have to worry, I never wanted you to be, let alone rely on you, because then I am sorry for myself, sorry for everything I have paid.
I just want to give myself an explanation, I just want your limited knowledge here, so that I can get better, in this period of life, no longer torture each other, sincerely and happily spend the rare days of diagnosis...
My hands are so sore, I wrote so many words in one go. You really owe me, you owe me a hug, you owe me a movie, you owe me so much affection for you. Maybe you inadvertently threw me a candy, that's all, and I can't forget it for a long time, I can't forget everything that happened, and the smell of that candy makes me lose my way back. The person who threw the candy to me has become a special person in life, and you have already turned around and disappeared into the corner, and your fingers really hurt, and your heart hurts.
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2021-09-3