Movie "Young Babylon"
The city I live in has only factories, and the smog is the smog, where I have nowhere to go but to be a worker.
I have no one to be cute, only to love myself.
I was twenty years old, the sweetest and most rotten time of my youth.
I always liked to talk about ideals, especially with young girls, and my ideal was: to make my own tea every morning, to help the section chief make tea, and then, to spread out a "Daicheng Daily" and sit at my desk and wait for lunch.
Or be a salesperson and sell cigarettes on the road teeth.
When I was in middle school, my math scores were very poor, I couldn't do analytical geometry, and I saw the curves on the quadrant and only felt like women's breasts and buttocks. I told my classmates about this idea, and the classmates told the math teacher about it.
The teacher taught me that there was something wrong with my outlook on life, and only pessimistic people would see curves as sketches of the human body.
That summer, the chemical plant exploded, and Grandma Li Xiaoyan couldn't stand the insults of her daughter-in-law and jumped off the building to commit suicide.
Mom said that Grandma Li Xiaoyan died very unjustly. I think I was even more wronged that the breasts I had seen for the first time in my life were like this.
In the summer of '92, thanks to my father's turtle, I entered the saccharin factory and worked as a fitter.
I met my master, the Cow Devil King (novel: Old Cowboy), and took me to the pump room to visit a "corset exhibition".
Watching them tease each other, I think I will also be like them, into shameless middle age, with a dry mouth, and a dead pig is not afraid of boiling water. It's boring, but at least it doesn't look particularly miserable.
The master has a car repair stall, and since having an apprentice like me, his car stall has been opened in advance.
At the age of twenty, I spent my youth without ideals.
I am not pessimistic about this at all, but I feel that the time is incomparably long.
I met the retrograde girl on the day of the big bang again, and I dropped the nails on her bicycle tire, and in the name of repairing the car, I was finally able to talk to her for a long time.
After that, I was always thinking about it, thinking of the girl in the white dress, and I wanted to find her.
The girl was a knot when I was twenty years old, hard to dissipate, always emitting a pungent smell.
In the autumn of 1992, I passed out at the formaldehyde workshop unloading pump.
I seemed to have had a dream that I was lying down, and soon came a woman, bulging forward and backward, coming to my hand, and I reached out to touch her, touching her very intently.
This woman is the girl in the white dress I have been looking for, her name is Bai Lan.
The first time I met her, I was dumbfounded, and the second time I was completely unconscious. I knew that this image could not make her fall in love with me, but it was enough to make me fall in love with her.
She satisfied my boyhood crush on the girl in white.
I fell in love with her so lost.
It wasn't just me who longed for the girl, but also the son of Deputy Director Bi and the officer of the Propaganda Section, which was a job I had dreamed of and made me very jealous.
The deputy commissioner's son was destined not to stay in the chemical plant for as long as I did, and he was soon transferred away.
My second love enemy, Wang Ming, the squad leader of the largest love enemy protection section, was the most threatening person in his identity.
So I wanted to do my best to express myself in front of the white and blue, even if it was the slightest.
Finally, in the struggle with Wang Ming, I won, more heat-tolerant than anyone, I won, relying on the advantage of age.
At the age of twenty, I can only win the honor of the end of my life in this boring way.
Bai Lan said that she hoped that when I was twenty-seven, I wouldn't be so desperate, she might not see what I looked like then, but she didn't want me to be like this now.
I don't understand what she meant by that.
Bai Lan once said that I was different from other young workers in the factory, and when I asked her what was different, she couldn't answer, but she just thought I could do something else in the future.
I told her how different I was from others, and my math teacher said I was a pessimistic person, and I thought this kind of person abounded in this world, but later found out that this was not the case.
There are very few pessimistic people, and some people should be pessimistic, but they play mahjong and sing karaoke, and they are very happy. I'm surrounded by people like that, and I don't know how I should look at the world, sad, or optimistic.
When I was a kid, I thought that one thing was either happy or sad, and there was no commonality between them. But I finally discovered that sadness and happiness can be present in the same thing.
In the summer of 1994 (novel: autumn of 1993), there was an earthquake, and I ran downstairs to Bai Lan's house, looked for Bai Lan in the crowd, and found her crawling on her balcony to watch the liveliness.
That night, Bai Lan told me about her experience, every earthquake she would think of her mother and sister, I said, she will think of me later.
Bai Lan was admitted to Shanghai Medical College, and I became a fool who worked the third shift of the saccharin factory.
She felt that I was different from the other young workers in the factory, and I felt that she was different, that she did not belong here, that she did not belong to me.
She left by train that day, and I couldn't drop her off.
Ninety-four years seemed to be the end of my world, and everything I loved had turned to dust, and I stood alone on top of the dust like an SB.
I have lived to be twenty years old, and there are still people who have loved me for a long time, and there are people who have loved me briefly, and I will never forget these things.