<h1>Insisting on the cry immunity method will only raise discouraged children</h1>
During this time, the cries of babies were always heard from time to time in the building behind my house. The baby cried for about ten minutes, but the mother refused to come forward to comfort her, which once made me think that she was out and left the baby alone at home.
Unexpectedly, yesterday I heard her downstairs, teaching her parenting scriptures to others. She said: "Children crying, don't hug, the more you hold the child, the more you make it weird, you will have to hug it later, you can't do anything." And if you hug too much, your arms will be ruined, you will get rheumatism when you are old, and you will hurt very much on rainy days. ”
Watching her paint light makeup and dress up in a foreign style, several other mothers have regretted that they held their children too much, resulting in back pain now.
This reminds me of the night before, after I put Pei Pei to sleep, reading a book in the living room. Pei Pei woke up from his sleep and cried, how the child's father coaxed it to no avail, when he heard his father's voice, he cried even harder.
I hurried back to the bedroom, lay down again next to Peipei, and only said softly, "Mom is here, rest assured to sleep", Pepe suddenly stopped crying, quieted down, and soon fell back to sleep. Because every night I coaxed my children to sleep, Peipei felt uneasy when she found that my mother was not around.
I cite this example to say that children before the age of three are in an important period of building a sense of security, and parents should try to meet their children's needs as much as possible.
Therefore, it is really not advisable for the neighbor to let the two-month-old baby cry for a long time. Such a young child, whose body still lacks the ability to coordinate, cannot do anything independently, and can only use crying to express their needs.
If parents refuse to hug and comfort the crying child in time in order not to spoil the child, the child's request signal is not responded to in time, the need is not met in time, the emotion is not appeased in time, the child will become insecure, can not trust people, and eventually become a discouraged child. I'm sure this is something that no parent wants to see.
<h1>Why do children like to be held by adults? </h1>
I believe that many people have heard of the rhesus monkey experiment, which is a famous experiment done by the American psychologist Harlow: a newborn baby monkey is taken away from the mother and put into an isolated iron cage to raise. And for the baby monkey prepared two new mothers, one is made of wire wound, 24 hours can provide milk "mother", one is made of flannel soft and warm flannel "mom".
Through experiments, Harlow found that although the wire "mother" hung a bottle on his chest, the baby monkey still stayed with the flannel "mother" for a longer time, holding the flannel "mother", and only when he was hungry, he would go to the wire "mother" to drink milk.
I believe that speaking of this, everyone understands why children always want adults to hug. Because just like baby monkeys have attachment to soft and warm flannel "mothers", the embrace with body temperature and mother's breath will make children feel safe and thus obtain physical satisfaction.
A friend of mine whose parents were particularly patriarchal. Soon after she was born, her parents threw her to her grandmother, and she never took a bite of breast milk or received a hug from her parents when she was growing up. When she grew up, she was particularly timid, inferior, withdrawn, and did not like to get along with others. After her grandmother's death, she always lived alone and did not want to live with her parents.
Sears, a famous American parenting expert, pointed out that parents should hold more children. He found that the child he was holding rarely cried, there was almost no dissatisfaction and trouble, and in addition to appearing happier, the child would develop better, because the child shifted the energy needed to cry to his own growth.
<h1>Mom and Dad, if you love me, you will hug me more</h1>
In the children's song "Love Me, You Hug Me", it is sung: Mom and Dad, if you love me, you will accompany me more, if you love me, hug me more...
Since parents hold more children, it will make children happier, more confident, and more secure, and will make children grow up more healthily, then parents should pay attention to it, usually hug their children more, and accompany their children more.
First, for small month-old babies, mothers may wish to use kangaroo parenting to hug their children.
Kangaroo parenting, also known as mother-to-baby skin matchmaking, is done by letting the mother lie flat and letting the baby lie prone between the mother's breasts. Not only is it conducive to stimulating babies to eat more breast milk, but also direct contact between mother and baby skin, and it can also play a good soothing effect.
This is because the mother's familiar and regular heartbeat will remind the baby of the sound he heard in the womb, and will play a balanced role in the regular rhythm of the baby's body system.
In fact, studies have shown that the mother-to-baby skin matchmaking method can promote the baby's brain development, reduce the baby's crying and irritable emotions, contribute to emotional stability, and make the child get enough security.
The second is to use the baby's back towel to stick the baby to the body.
Use a back towel to carry the baby on the body or hold it on the body, which was very common in the countryside in the past, the mother had to go out or do farm work, the child at home had no one to take care of, just put the child on the body and follow it.
In fact, this practice is also worth advocating now. Because we will find that the baby who is carried by the mother is always quiet, very satisfied, not crying or making trouble. In fact, this is also the parenting method that Sears strongly advocates. In order for the child to get enough security, parents may wish to use the baby towel often before the child is two years old, and often stick the child to the body.
The third is to hug more before going to bed.
When the child is still young and needs to be put to sleep. After the fixed sleep procedure, you may wish to lie down with the child, let the child pillow one of the mother's arms, and turn the child's body sideways to himself, gently hum a lullaby or other nursery rhyme that can calm the child, and at the same time rhythmically pat the child's back with his hand to let the child fall asleep in a satisfied state.
The fourth is to hug the child more often, and the child should be comforted in time when crying.
Many times, adults do not need to do much when children cry, as long as they give their children a caring hug, they can make children feel the love and care of their parents, so as to quickly calm down.
In the picture book "David Can't", David is particularly naughty, has a strong destructive ability, does a lot of things that give his mother a headache, and always makes a mess of the family. When he broke the vase and was called by his mother to the corner of the wall to think about it, his mother gave him a big hug in time and told David in her arms: "Mother will always love you." ”
Sears said: The time the baby is in your bed, the time you feed in your arms, is very short in a person's life, but those memories of love and trust will last a lifetime.
In order for the child to grow happier, more confident and healthier, let us remember to crouch down every day, open our arms, and gently say to the child a few more times: "Come, dear baby, let the mother hug you!" ”
(The picture comes from the Internet, and the infringing contact is deleted)