preface:
I would like to begin by asking you a question for women in the workplace.
Colleagues or superiors always approach you consciously or unconsciously, touch you, boldly and explicitly comment on your figure, and even keep making a fuss in front of you. Or borrow a work discussion, intentionally or unintentionally pat your shoulder, a waist down the bear hug. If you encountered the scene described by the author above, what would you do? Whistleblowing or seeking perfection?
Received a submission from a netizen to share with everyone.
I didn't want to make any written discussion or response to this little thing that happened in my life, but today, I was really completely irritated.
Since January, because I want to get back into the film and television industry, I began to find some studios on boss direct hiring that I thought was OK to submit resumes, and in the search I found a director studio, and after a simple search, I found that although this director is not famous, he has also made a blockbuster. His works are about gender relations, and the actors are also big names in literary films, so I naturally have a good feeling for this studio.
The first time I went to an interview, it was the producer, who was friendly and talked to me about my experiences, we also talked about some views on the relationship between the sexes, and after a few days, I was invited to interview with the director.
Before the interview, the producer asked me to submit a sample manuscript and an article that I was satisfied with, and a few years ago I published an article about a one-night stand in my Douban diary, which had absolutely no pornographic content, but more of an uncontrollable and pessimistic attitude towards my own life and destiny.
Because of this article, the director expressed interest in me, and in the first half of our chat, everything was still very natural, and he praised: "This article is not like it was written by a woman of your grade." ”
He began to suspect that the article was not my original. To prove that I was original, I told him about my experiences of adolescence and was very honest with him.
Friends who are screenwriters must also understand that in our work we are more like tool people, executing the ideas of Party A, I am very interested in gender issues, I admire Dindu Baras very much, so a script opportunity to write erotic and gender relations is placed in front of me, and I am trying to fight for it.
Maybe it was because of my efforts that I revealed too much personal information, and the director misunderstood me.
He started asking me "What do you think about sex?" ”
"What kind of panties do you like to wear?"
In the face of such a problem, because of fear and disgust, I can only treat it as a normal interview question, otherwise my heart cannot dissolve and bear such obscenity and malice. So I stupidly answered these questions truthfully.
The director then explained, "It was a scene from my last play, it was just deleted for some reason, and I wanted to see what your reaction would look like." ”
In the subsequent exchange, he said, "To be my screenwriter is to be my shadow, and I will protect and love you, but you know that the shadow and the master are always together."
By this point, I had made sure that he might have other intentions for me, but I didn't dare to resist, and I pretended that all this was normal.
I still blame myself in my head for thinking too dirty, after all, this movie is about the love entanglement of men and women, I don't want it
It's too confusing. I said to myself, don't think about those sexual things, it's just my misjudgment.
Afterwards the director asked my boyfriend if he would mind my job.
I said, "Screenwriting is chaotic in terms of time, and he doesn't get angry at me for working all night." ”
The director once again stressed that I want to live with him every day, and even need some creative passion and inspiration.
Although I already knew his intentions, I still asked him with luck: "Is what I think in my mind now the things you want to express?" ”
He nodded. Even later blamed me for not being honest, because I understood his idea but did not ask it directly, I was afraid of offending the director, this feeling I could not say.
During the period, he also expressed that now in addition to me there is another girl he also likes, tangled between the two of us, the reason for his entanglement is that the girl's appearance temperament is more in line with his preferences, I do not deny that there will be some eye element during the interview, but he naked to evaluate our looks, as if he is choosing a concubine.
In a friendly conversation with the director, I confided in my high school experience, when the seniors who were in the same club liked me, so they locked me up in the club office and said to me, "We could have raped you, so that you could only be with him when the rice was cooked, but we didn't do it because we were good people." I smiled and matched them.
Every time I think back on this experience I hate myself, I didn't resist, I didn't even say: You are wrong! This experience has tormented me all the time, making it impossible for me to be positive with men, and even with men later in life, I am always unable to truly express my discomfort, as if I am uncomfortable because I am not funny and not funny.
Because of that experience, it was difficult for me to react immediately to any transgressive behavior with men, and this discomfort and nausea would suddenly attack me after the incident gradually faded.
I said all these words to the director, and I used this example gently to show my discomfort and rejection, but he always expressed that he liked my obedience and honesty.
After that, we were deadlocked, and he wanted me to say the answer he wanted: "Accept to be a shadow." ”
But I kept talking about him, and finally he went to the bathroom, and I found an opportunity to end the airtight conversation, and it was already two o'clock in the morning, and I quickly grabbed my phone to take a taxi and leave. He wanted me to stay and help clean up the table, but I didn't want to stay in that place anymore.
As soon as I got downstairs, I started crying. I know what I've been through, and to be honest, I don't even resent him for treating me like this, I resent myself for allowing the other person to treat me like this again.
After the interview, I was very sad, my boyfriend thought I could talk about it on the Internet, but the director was not a famous director, and I was afraid that this would not only confide in my privacy, but also not have any effect.
All this time, I've been struggling, and I feel like I've once again been stripped of my "human" identity, and let men look at me in the name of pity, as if it were a lump of meat.
I don't want to stir too much here, and when I decided to say this, I was thinking about these questions:
Did he violate me? No; did he force me? No.
When I came out to talk about this, it was as if I was making a big fuss, and even in the course of the conversation, I was always in a submissive attitude. But I say it in the hope that people who have had similar experiences with me will understand: This is definitely not your fault! You did get hurt!
The asymmetry of the relationship between men and women in society, coupled with the oppression of the upper and lower powers, made it impossible for me to show what I really thought in this situation.
Because I don't want to make myself regret it anymore, I have to say it.
After that, the director contacted me on WeChat and sent me a long text, saying something that seemed to cherish me, protect me, and hope that I knew how to seize the opportunity, but didn't he understand that asking female subordinates to have sex with him in the name of work is an abuse of power?
I hoped this was the end of the matter, and I answered the director, but he only replied to me with two roses, how light and breezy, without the slightest guilt for what he had done. I hope that female screenwriters who are still looking for jobs will protect themselves and not do things that hurt themselves.