My colleague complained to me that the boy who had recently kept in touch with her was always lukewarm, which made my colleagues feel that there was no need to continue the relationship, but they were not willing to give up so easily, so they came to ask me for a way to see if there was a chance to reverse the situation.
After the permission of the other party, I browsed the other party's chat history, only to find that I did not blame the other party for being lukewarm, but the colleague was too straight -
"What are you doing?" , "at dinner", and then there is no then;
"Are you free, let's go to eat hot pot together", "No time, I don't like to eat hot pot";
"Miss you", "Me too" plus a boring meme, and then there is no then.
Across the screen can feel the man's speechlessness after seeing the reply of his colleagues, originally a sentence of "thinking of you" plus an effective reply, you can give birth to a lot of topics, but it is blocked by a sentence of "I am also" to block all the back roads.
It can be seen that it is necessary to learn a high emotional intelligence chat method.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="8" > the operation of good love, inseparable from language as an aid</h1>
Happiness itself is actually an experience, a thousand faces, so it does not have a fixed meaning, it is more of a feeling, and people with different experiences and feelings have different understandings of happiness, and the final understanding is also different.
Bi Shumin said: "Love is afraid of silence. Too many people think that love to the depths is speechless. In fact, love is a difficult emotion to describe, which needs to be expressed and transmitted in detail. ”
There are thousands of ways to express love, and the uninterrupted output of the same kind of content will make people feel bored, and even for chat, there will be no more expectations, after all, back and forth on those few words, monotonous and boring.
Language is a bridge connecting a relationship, it can help each other to enter each other's emotional world more deeply through the feelings expressed between the lines, and it can also extend a relationship very well.
Therefore, if we want to better manage love, we should make good use of the tool of language, rather than relying on a few simple and meaningless words, so that feelings will wither and wither because of the loss of vitality.
So, men say "miss you", stupid women like to reply "me too", how will women with high emotional intelligence talk? How do highly emotionally intelligent women talk?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="16" > guided: "Oh, let me hear what you think of me?" ”</h1>
I remember climbing a mountain when I was a child, and when I climbed to the top, I always shouted at the empty place, and then listened to the echo, as if I was restored by the mountain, and I had a lot of fun.
In fact, when chatting with men, such an "echo" chat can also make the entire chat process become active.
When a man sends "thinking of you", a sentence of "I am also" will abruptly stop the topic, and the other party may still want to see what your reaction is through this sentence, but the result is a sentence of "I am also" with no content, and naturally there is no desire to want gifts to talk about.
So, at this time, women may wish to try to send a sentence of "Oh, let me hear how you think of me", throw the topic back, and when the other party says how they think of us, the topic will continue in such a clever way.
As Wittgenstein said, "Whatever can be said is meaningless." Whatever is meaningful, it has to be conveyed in absurd language. ”
We should continue a topic, rather than abruptly stopping, so that the feelings will be extended on the basis of increasing intimacy.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="23" > second, echoing: "I am thinking of you too, then we are not a little bit of wisdom."</h1>
Psychologist Freud believes that in adulthood, when the individual finds someone he likes, and the other party also loves him, and the two sides are infinitely closer in psychological distance and reality, then the individual will transfer the childhood dependence on parents to the other half.
This feature has nothing to do with gender, and both men and women will reveal their truest side when they meet people who make them emotional.
The so-called one day does not see, such as every three autumns, only people who really move their feelings understand that the original miss is really a disease, for men who are not good at expressing emotions, just a sentence of "thinking of you" contains waves of emotions.
Therefore, when a man sends "thinking of you", it means that his thoughts have reached the extreme, and what we need to do is to respond to this thought, tell the other party that when he thinks of himself, he is also thinking of him, although the two people are not together, but they can feel empathy.
In short, language also plays an auxiliary role in feelings, and what really supports feelings can go on is character, is paying, and is two hearts that are mixed with each other.
Love is a mirror, whether it can be happy depends on how we manage love, only the love that runs in both directions, there is a love that is willing to pay, and it can go on forever.
The End -
Author | Psychological counselor Fu Dongsheng
The main writer of love and marriage psychology | Use psychology to analyze love, marriage, and life
WeChat public account: love marriage psychology