My mom was a Christian, and when I was a kid I used to go to church with my mom, and I didn't always make it to the end, and I fell asleep in the middle of the way. Finally my mother carried me home, and I lay on her rickety back, seeing the vast starry sky through the cracks of her eyes, and dreaming about growing up.
Later, when I really grew up, I knew that the star that had been hanging in the night in the south was called Orion, that going to church would not necessarily get God's protection, and that my parents would not be able to carry me on their backs one day.
Have you ever had a moment when you suddenly found out that your parents could only help you get here?
I changed my mom's smartphone for New Year's Eve. She asked someone else to help register a WeChat id and began to chat with me on WeChat. But she only uses her handwritten keyboard, either voicing or expressing affection when chatting. She doesn't grab red envelopes, she doesn't copy and paste, and she has to wait a long time to send a message.
She always took her phone and asked me, how to get this, how to send that. The New Year's wishes she sent to her old friend also asked me to polish them. When the message was sent, she always looked excited.
When I told her that this kind of group message did not need to be deliberately replied to, she said sadly: "It turned out to be so." "
The flood of 98 years, the end of the millennium, and the SARS of 03 years, although it was small at that time, because there were parents there, now that I look back, I don't have much fear in my heart. In their memories, they had the strength to pull up a cart of grain, the technology to build a house and repair the circuit and water pipes, they liked Teresa Teng and Zhang Guorong, and they also popularized flared pants and floral skirts.
But these still can't withstand the rush of time to get old. One of the things I often hear them say now is "watch and do it yourself". I had to realize that the figure that had been sheltering me from the wind and rain in front of me had quietly retreated behind me, and they could no longer send me farther away.
They said, "When you're married, we won't have anything to help you." "
My friend Lao He has not been able to work smoothly, has not found any serious work since the last unemployment, and recently scattered some part-time jobs. But he didn't tell his family that he was no longer working at the original company, because he felt that it was of little use and let them worry.
One day he was handing out leaflets on the street when he received a call from his father. The father on the other end of the phone asked him if he had eaten, how had he been working recently, and Lao He still pretended that everything was normal.
His dad then asked, "Do you need money?" And then he said to himself, "You use the money to say, anyway, my money is yours in the end, use it now, and use it in the future." After hanging up the phone, Lao He understood that his father should know that he was unemployed.
That day he cried, tears dripping on the leaflet in his hand, wet several times.
Of course, Lao He understood that his parents had not been able to touch the connections in this prosperous first-tier city, nor did they have enough insight to advise on their future, they could only hold their hearts firmly in their hearts and care carefully.
The only thing you can do is to tell your child, "If you want to rest, we can raise you for a while." It was also the first time that he felt so clearly that the concern of these words was mixed with the powerlessness of "we can only help you get here".
We don't know exactly what day, which minute or second or which thing to start with, parents gradually can't keep up with this era, and their thinking begins to be somewhat conservative or even backward.
They no longer came and went like a gust of wind. They could only stare at the figure of us in the same place, standing quietly, not knowing why.
It was Kore-eda who described this state in his book: "For the first time, I felt that my parents could not always be the same as before, and this was a matter of course. I could only look at my parents from a distance who were equally overwhelmed. "
Some people say that people live and are passed down from generation to generation. At that time, I understood the inheritance of life, old age, illness and death, and now that I think about it, it is actually the handover of the past and the future.
After all, parents can only spend a trip with us in this beautiful world, even if they can always have energy and strength, but we will eventually say goodbye to them sooner or later.
When I was a child, I wrote about gratitude in my essays, and everyone always liked to write a sentence: "The crow has the meaning of feeding back, and the sheep have the grace of kneeling milk". Parents' "end here" is also the beginning of our return. They will eventually grow old, and we should shoulder the responsibility. This is not the end, but another beginning.
Years have passed, but the starry sky remains. Growing up means no longer attaching oneself to anyone, no longer looking left and right when difficulties come.