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I am thirty-five years old this year, my daughter-in-law is the same age as me, and when we were in college, we came together, and now we have been thirteen years, and we have been married for seven years. We were an enviable couple in college, and we also broke the spell of "graduation breakup", which can be regarded as a sympathy.
After so many years together, we have always regarded each other as the most important person to each other. When many people around us are complaining about marriage and their other half, we still feel in love. People are nearly middle-aged, and every day they are still playing like their first love, friends and relatives think that we will get married early and have children, but they only guessed half right.
Stills from "Family Suffering"
After graduating from college, she returned with me to my hometown, a third-tier provincial capital in the northeast. At first, my career was very bad, but my heart was higher than the sky, and I went around a few companies, and it didn't take long to jump ship, and the more I jumped, the more I was killed. One year, I was completely unemployed at home, and we were not married, but we both met our parents. My parents divorced me when I was three years old, and it was my grandmother who raised me, and at first her parents cared about this, thinking that children who grew up in unsound families were not sound personalities. I deeply agree with my father-in-law and mother-in-law, after all, their daughter is not only beautiful, but also has a good personality, why should I find someone from this kind of family background. But my daughter-in-law was very tough and wanted to be with me no matter what, so she had a big fight with her mother. In the end, my father-in-law and mother-in-law compromised, and now we get along very well.
When I was unemployed, my daughter-in-law kept me hiding from my family, and we struggled to survive on her salary of more than three thousand a month. At that time, my daily task was to buy vegetables and cook, no matter how simple the meal, she would come back from work and eat with me happily. With low self-esteem, I shut myself in the house, not even daring to see my neighbors, for fear that others would know that I was an unemployed vagrant, but she never complained, and she did not buy cosmetics or new clothes for more than a year. Seeing that I was depressed and sad, she cheered me up, and at that time I made up my mind that I must be with her for the rest of my life and always be good to her. When I was a child, my grandmother said to me, "If you look for a daughter-in-law, find someone who is as wholeheartedly good to you as me and your grandfather," and I was lucky to find that her.
Stills from "Miyamoto"
After that, my career picked up a bit, I got a job, and I got married very quickly. Now we are both very stable, doing middle management in different companies, in third-tier cities like ours, not rich but the quality of life is OK. When I got married, my mother bought me a wedding house, and the year before we saved up money to buy a house and a car. Life is getting better and better, but the only problem is that we haven't had children yet.
This question actually did not bother us, at the beginning of the young people busy with their careers, want to go more than the two-person world, who ever thought we were addicted. We travel abroad once a year, two or three times, and occasionally by car. The two of us have similar interests, we can not go anywhere on the weekend, the whole two days at home, play the glory of the king, chase the drama, chase the variety show, you can also go hiking, hot springs, play table tennis. My daughter-in-law loves to go to amusement parks, we have been to Japan, Hong Kong, Shanghai Disney and Universal Studios, she is bold, like to play exciting roller coasters, I am timid, I carry a big bag and a small bag under the silly look at her fun.
Many friends have children, and they regard children as the source of happiness in life, and I really think they are happy, but we have indulged in the world of two people, and we feel that life without children is equally beautiful. But many people around us are persuading us, always citing some other people's stories about how unfortunate and bad marriage and life without children will become.
Stills from "The Little Thing About Husband and Wife"
I grew up with my grandparents, and I had basically no feelings for my parents, and probably even few polite greetings. I grew up lonely and introverted, always hiding behind my grandmother and grandfather, living in the discussion of others when I was a child: "This child is really pitiful, his parents don't care about him, his grandfather is so old, he doesn't raise his own grandson, to raise a foreign surname, labor insurance has spent on this child, how much money will be paid for college later, these two people eat pickles to raise this child." ”
I've heard too many such words since I was a child, and the two old men have quarreled with others because of this, and even because of me, my grandfather and my own brother have been deadlocked. As a young man, I knew exactly what others looked at me and what was being said about me behind my back, and when I was a child, I doubted whether I should not have been born in this world. This sense of humility is deep in the marrow, and even though my grandparents gave me all their love, I still feel that the world is cold. I habitually closed myself off and lowered my head in front of others.
This feeling did not change completely until I met my daughter-in-law. After meeting her, my gray life was punched out of a gap by her, and the sun shone into my heart from the gap, and my life became rich and warm. My daughter-in-law and I agree that the current life is very perfect, and in addition to the force majeure factors of natural and man-made disasters, we are confident that we can continue to go this way.
My grandmother and grandfather are almost ninety years old now, we live very close, I will take care of them when there is nothing to do, but they are very stubborn, and at the age of ninety they still insist on living alone, and do not want others to disturb them. I always wanted to hire them a babysitter, but several times I was severely rejected because the babysitter, male or female, felt awkward because of their gender. My father-in-law and mother-in-law are not yet sixty years old and are in good health. At first our parents-in-law strongly asked us to have children, and then our daughter-in-law bought them two puppies, and now all their attention has shifted to taking care of the puppies and playing cards, occasionally urging, but seeing that we are still very happy, we will not say anything.
Going back to the original topic, will we be lonely when we are old because we don't have children? Or is it that not raising children makes life incomplete, one layer less about the life experience of raising future generations? For me at present, it should not be, maybe we are not yet at the age of seven or eighty, and our thinking is not mature enough. But life is not perfect, and I feel happy enough now that I don't dare to be more perfect. In addition, my personality is born with a lonely side, and family affection is more of gratitude and gratitude for me. Without the shackles of children, I will feel that my daughter-in-law and I will be more comfortable in the future life.
If we allow it financially in the future, we will also sponsor some unfortunate children, because I know how much an unhappy childhood can have a lifetime. Life is just an experience, I came to this world to taste the bitterness and sweetness, and then I knew what kind of life I wanted to live, and by chance, the favor of heaven made me meet my angel, who accompanied me all these years to live the life I liked, and I felt very content. I also greedily don't want to change, I want time to flow like this, and we live our own little lives. If one day it comes to the time when we need to be taken care of, we will have enough money to hire someone to help us through this insignificant and sweet life. Human reproduction has to work for others, and we will not participate.
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