It happened in Zhanjiang, Guangdong Province, an 8-year-old boy entered the home of others to steal biscuits and was caught by the owner, the owner first punched and kicked the child, and then stripped the child naked and tied it to the tree in front of the door, which was not enough, and the owner then burned an iron pot and spoon with gas, and scalded the child over and over again.
It was not until the child's crying attracted nearby villagers that he was rescued.
I don't dare to think about how desperate a child who is only 8 years old should be in that situation.
If someone did that to my child, I would definitely fight with him.
But the little boy did not have parents who could help him out, his father was mentally ill, his mother had long run away from home, and he was the only normal person in the family.
I think that if he had a strong dependence, that person would not dare to treat a child like this.
Children because of age, physical strength and other reasons, in many cases belong to the vulnerable groups, so they have become the object of violence, those who are hurt by violence, there will always be a scar in their hearts that cannot be healed.
First, what sequelae will occur in children who are treated violently
"The Courage of Love" says that violence, whether mental or physical, results in the form of a long-term curse on a person, which keeps the person away from the inner softness, and thus has serious sequelae.
Because the physical wounds will heal, but the psychological scars will always be there.
It is reported that children who have experienced 2 or more categories of violence have significantly higher physical symptoms, obsessive-compulsive symptoms, interpersonal sensitivity, depression, anxiety, hostility, terror, paranoia, and psychosis than children who have not experienced this experience.
Moreover, when they grow up, they will fight violence with violence, and the probability of going to extremes will be higher than that of ordinary children.
Second, verbal violence is also violence
Many parents feel very fortunate to see this, they have never beaten their children, but in fact, verbal violence is also a kind of violence.
The following scenarios must be familiar to you:
If the child's grades are not good, you will say: "How to get the test is so bad, the pigs are smarter than you, spend so much money on what to learn." ”
When a child does things, you will say, Doing things so slowly, eating can't catch up with the heat. ”
Kids don't do homework, you say, "It's not that simple, stupid, what's going on in class?" ”
The child is mischievous, and you will say, "Annoyed, I don't want you after such a fuss." ”
……
These are all "violent".
What is violence? Anything that violates an individual's sense of "self" is violence, which includes unintentional verbal violence, unreasonable demands and expectations for children, using children to satisfy their own vanity, making children scapegoats for their anger, etc., not to mention hitting, kicking, pushing, pinching, shaking, pinching children or threatening them in behavior.
A video of a mother beating her daughter circulated on the Internet: a completely out-of-control mother, grabbing the terrified child and kept beating, the child shouted: Mom, don't fight, don't hit Mom. The younger daughter who was standing on the side was already scared silly, and soon, the innocent woman was also beaten up.
Another voice came from the video: "I'll see when you hit, you hit." As soon as the voice fell, the mother beat harder.
The weakest child in the world is a child, and the one who can bully children the most is adults. Strange "garbage man" children can stay away, but "people around" like parents, teachers, relatives and elders, where can children hide.
Third, how to avoid violence in children
"The old and the old and the old, the young and the young" This is a kind of foundation of social civilization. But we should also understand that not all adults are kind and have a heart, and not all naughty children are full of malice.
No one has been labeled "human nature is inherently evil" at the beginning, and for strange children, we do not ask you how much you love them, but ask you to give them time to grow, and not to deliberately hurt them.
For our own children, we can stop, slow down, squat down, take the child's request seriously, express our emotions honestly, find a solution with the child, and let the child learn to take responsibility.
For other people's children, please raise your hands high, you can't take care of them like your own children, and please don't hurt them.