I have a friend who likes to say she has low emotional intelligence. She always said she was as stupid as a piece of rotten wood. For the sake of narrative convenience, let's call her Jiang Mumu first.
Jiang Mumu and I went to college together, but we didn't know each other well. Last October, together with two other students, we were offered an internship at a clothing company in a neighboring city. Since there was no accommodation arranged, the four of us planned to rent an apartment near the internship unit during the internship, which would both help us take care of it and save money.
Four girls with the same major but usually do not communicate much, one plus in the WeChat group, three or two sentences to say hello, get basic friendship points.
The four of us had no relatives or friends in the surrounding cities, so we had to look for them through a well-known online rental platform. Xiao Ling, who has rental experience, Xiaoxiao and I are assistants, and Jiang Mumu is the treasurer, on the grounds that she is in trouble.
It may be because our requirements are relatively high, such as "apartment, air conditioning, no project near the residence, environmental safety, the price is right", a week to inquire about it, did not find the right.
Xiaoling suggested that we look for it in the local area. Otherwise, we just asked the agent and didn't see the actual situation of the house. Finding it is not easy.
Xiaoxiao and I hadn't talked yet, and the shopkeeper Jiang Mumu was in a hurry: "Oh, no, this thing has not been done well for so long." There will be reports in a few days. We'll find it when we get there. "Can't find us sleeping on the road?"
Xiao Ling has a calm personality and does not marry her. She continued: "If we are going to settle now, there is a second option, and that is the old house. We can't live long anyway. We are all young people and will do it. ”
Jiang Mumu said as if understandingly, "That can only be so." Who told you to look for this condition for so long? ”
This situation..... Why not do it, complain that the results are not satisfactory, and the words are full of meanness.
Jiang Mumu successfully angered Xiao Ling.
Soon, Xiaoxiao and Jiang Mumu also got into trouble. The ins and outs of the matter are as follows: Jiang Mumu and Xiaoxiao had to complete an internship task together. The task was to send out a survey of 100 questionnaires to the central square.
Jiang Mumu offered to perform his duties and complete half of the tasks, and Xiaoxiao agreed.
However, when handing over the task, Jiang Mumu told Xiaoxiao that she did not do it at all, because it was too hot to go out. Mu Mu believes that everyone is just a new intern, and it is normal for the leader to complete the task, and it does not matter if he does not do it.
Xiaoxiao was very angry, and he decided to report half of his workload and ask Jiang Mumu to explain to his superiors why he was lazy.
When Jiang Mumu heard that this work needed to be reported, he hurriedly said that he was particularly afraid of facing criticism from his elders. He hoped that Xiaoxiao would lie down with her, saying that they could not complete the task on time due to illness, and the leaders would be tolerant of the interns.
Xiaoxiao did not want to lie, but Jiang Mumu scolded Xiaoxiao: There is no loyalty between friends.
Jiang Mumu had annoyed XiaoXiao and offended Xiaoling before, so she had to come to me for help.
She said to me with a handful of snot and tears: "Do you also think that my emotional intelligence is very low, which is a wonderful thing?" A lot of people say that to me. ”
What are the characteristics or "skills" of people with low emotional intelligence? Simply put, people with low emotional intelligence tend to frequently bring unpleasant emotions to those around them.
In addition to Mu mu, countless such people are active in our social life.
Some may stare at your colleague's face while they're eating and laugh out loud, "Your eyeshadow is so ugly, like a funny entertainer."
Some people may ask him over and over again if he still has old feelings for his ex-girlfriend at someone else's wedding, and if he is still as worried about her as before.
Some may use the phrase "depressed" to disappear when the group is busy with political achievements, leaving the mess to the public, and then issuing a few more "come and go" in two days, smiling like sunflowers.
Obviously, "low EQ" is not a neutral term.
What is the mindset of people who like to claim low emotional intelligence?
In my humble opinion, "like to pretend that the emotional intelligence is low" is more infuriating than "simple emotional intelligence is low".
People are not saints, and people with low emotional intelligence sometimes lose control in words and actions, which is not something that is difficult to forgive.
If people with low emotional intelligence can think back and forth and reflect on themselves by feeling the unhappiness of others, they can change themselves slightly and think more about others in the future. Over time, the process of growth will be seen by everyone, and it will be over.
Just like Jiang Mumu, when you are in trouble, you will say to others, "Is my emotional intelligence low?" I've always been evaluated that way. ”。
This sentence sounds strange. She seems to be showing weakness to others, using "I've always been like this" to advocate the normality of her personality, indicating that she can't change. It's nature.
Some people like to think of "low emotional intelligence" as part of their physical attributes, saying that it is immutable and unrestrictable.
In fact, "low emotional intelligence" is thoughts and behaviors, which can be changed. A person with low emotional intelligence is reluctant to change, indicating that he does not know that his actions or words will cause trouble and negative emotions to others, or that he knows that he is creating trouble but thinks it does not matter.
Use "low emotional intelligence" to make yourself a gold medal to avoid death and offend yourself. What is the subtext?
I'm a person with low emotional intelligence, and I told you in advance, so if I do something that makes you unhappy, it's because I have low emotional intelligence and a flawed personality, so I gave you a preventive shot.
At the end of the day, it's not just "low emotional intelligence." It is also impersonal, selfish, does not know how to think in a different position, and is irresponsible for its own words and deeds.
People with high emotional intelligence can control their emotions, avoid causing trouble or negative emotions to others, and even make others happy through words and deeds. People with high emotional intelligence can always think of others, and their inertial thinking can be responsible for their own words and deeds.
Conversely, people with low emotional intelligence lack this habitual thinking.
Life is never a competition for individuals. Man is a social animal and cannot do without social interaction with others. Your "low emotional intelligence" gets worse and worse, and your friends will eventually go farther and farther.
Everyone thinks very differently. Even if you can't be a person with high emotional intelligence, you should at least think twice about what you say and do, and don't be a nasty person who brings negative effects to others.