I've seen a sentence like this:
"The process of truly ending a relationship is not hysterical crying, nor deletion, but when one is afraid to expect love". ”
People are most afraid of suddenly seeing themselves alone in this relationship.
The feelings you have painstakingly managed have been rejected by the other party.
Your unforgettable memories are optional for the other person.
Get along with people, the most afraid of disappointment.
The writer Cen Sang once said:
"Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?" Hope begins, disappointment waits, despair ends. ”
Everyone is like this, meeting and getting to know each other in the long river, meeting each other in trivial daily life.
But in the end, they are constantly swallowed up by expectations and disappointments until they are separated.
After reading this sentence:
"People who break up first are often not easy to let go, not free enough, but disappointed enough, not to love you, but not to love you." 」
Feelings are a matter of two people, and it is futile for one person to insist.
There is a show called "Goodbye Lovers" that targets three groups of couples whose relationships are broken.
Let the three groups go on an 18-day motorhome tour and let them decide whether to restart their relationship or say goodbye once and for all.
But at the beginning of the show, Zhu Yaqiong went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to ask for a divorce.
In 2002, he fell in love at first sight, and now he has known each other for 19 years, been married for 6 years, and separated for 1 year.
She and her husband Wang Qiuyu divorced in 2019. After the divorce, Zhu Yaqiong found out that she was pregnant. For the sake of their children, they chose to remarry.
After remarrying, her husband Wang Qiuyu did not change much, and Zhu Yaqiong's love and patience were once again exhausted.
During the show, they sit around and speak out what's on their minds.
Zhu Yaqiong's eyes were red, and she calmly said all her grievances.
They had known each other for 19 years, and her husband had always denied her, never appreciating his wife's talent.
After getting the marriage certificate, she put on makeup and asked Wang Qiuyu if she looked good. But the husband said coldly, "How ugly!" ；
She wanted a hug, but her husband tickled impatiently for a minute.
The two watched the previous videos together, but her husband Wang Qiuyu was not impressed by all the videos, and felt that these memories were cold and childish.
Zhu Yaqiong burst into tears, she did not understand why a man who had lived for more than ten years would turn a blind eye to his own happiness.
On the show, Zhu Yaqiong said that she was already disappointed in the marriage.
A woman who lacks love, a man who always hurts love without expressing it, their marriage is doomed to ruin.
Sexologist Shen Yifei said.
"Many things and ideas in marriage can be tolerated by each other, but if you encounter each other's principled bottom line problems, it may make the parties feel: Do I want to live with you in the end?"
In fact, love is like a mirror. If it's broken, it's broken. If you keep a mirror full of debris, you will only stab yourself.
The best option is to clean up and throw it away.
The end of a relationship, like a broken heart, is broken by jumps.
Christine Hannah wrote in Firefly Lane:
"We both thought each other's lives were the best, but in the end, we found that there was always a flaw in life that made us whole."
The same goes for marriage. There is no best marriage, only a marriage that knows how to be inclusive.
Two people have different living habits and have their own hobbies.
If you blindly criticize and deny each other, the feelings of two people will be exhausted sooner or later.
Many people meet and meet each other. At first, everything was quiet and beautiful, but they were tit-for-tat over small things.
In the end, whoever wins loses.
I've seen such a story.
A couple held hands and walked for 50 years, rarely arguing during which they shared with each other, from black hair to whiteheads.
On the 50th anniversary of the Golden Wedding, a guest asked her:
"What's the secret to a happy marriage?"
She said.
"From the day I got married, I was ready to list 10 of my husband's flaws. For the sake of the happiness of our marriage, I promise myself that I am willing to forgive him as long as he makes any of these 10 mistakes. ”
The man continued:
"What are these 10 drawbacks?"
She replied:
"To be honest, I've never enumerated these 10 shortcomings in detail in the last 50 years.
Whenever my husband did something wrong that made me jump up in anger, I immediately reminded myself that he was lucky. He made one of 10 mistakes I can forgive. "
A good marriage must be mutually inclusive.
The writer Ai Xiaoyang once wrote such a passage:
"Don't always talk about the three views and fight for right and wrong in intimate relationships, but understand self-examination and gratitude, understand that intimacy is more important than correctness, and tolerance is more important than transformation." 」
Only by always embracing and respecting each other can we not hurt each other's feelings.
Forgiveness is because you care, and admitting mistakes is because you don't want to be wronged.
Zhang Xiaoxian once said:
"The biggest harm a man does to a woman is not to fall in love with someone else, but to disappoint her when she has expectations."
The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment.
In the movie "Chongqing Forest", there is a classic line:
"I don't know when, everything has a date, saury will expire, canned meat will expire, even plastic wrap will expire;
I began to wonder, what else in this world doesn't expire? "
No matter how good feelings are, if they are not cherished, sooner or later they will expire.
Two people meeting in the vast sea of people is the fate of past lives; how far we can go with each other depends on whether we know how to cherish it.
When Lin Xinru was 12 years old, she experienced her parents' divorce.
At that time, Lin's father always played soot and threw cigarette butts into Lin's mother's flower pot. He often didn't bathe, threw away clothes, and didn't remember anniversaries.
Mother Lin insisted on divorce. Grandma advised Mother Lin not to be too presumptuous.
Mother Lin only said one word:
"He's fine, but he can't go together. After all, his lifespan is too long. ”
Only later, my stepfather appeared.
He would put beautiful flower pots on Mother Lin's flowers and plants, and would also take Mother Lin's hand to go for a walk by the river.
He would go to the wetland park with his mother Lin to photograph the flowers and birds, tell her the name and story of each plant, bring back a few fallen branches, and put them in a quaint vase when he returned home, on a desk.
When Lin's mother was sick and hospitalized, he would put a bouquet of lilies next to Lin's bed, cut the fruit into small pieces, and put it in a clean pale green porcelain bowl.
He would sit on the edge of the bed, pick up a book, and read it to Mama Lin page by page.
As Liao Yimei said:
"It's not uncommon in my life for people to encounter love and sex. It is rare to encounter understanding. ”
Life is a long road. Only with people who are willing to cherish you can we go longer.
The love of the world can rarely cross the river of time forever like the new one.
People who truly love you, even if they cross thousands of miles, will come to you.
In a relationship, the biggest grievance is that the other party turns a blind eye.
Your heart, he can't see; your pain is sad, and he thinks it's diseaseless groaning.
Some people love you by nature, and some people are destined to teach you a lesson.
Two people together, either dead or dead.
May you no longer silently swallow your grievances, and love yourself first.
If you can love, try to love; it is not worth it. Turn away.
