The Surging News reporter Shen Wendi intern Zhao Jingran
Jane, 24, sat there proudly, and at a glance, 8 years had not changed him much.
501 games, 2617 kills (first in league history), 2865 assists, 2 LPL titles, 1 Asian match, mid-season, Asian Games; of course, he is remembered as two global finals runners-up, and an imperfect ending.
From the first time he entered the Professional Arena of The League of Legends at the age of 16, the night hunter Tianshen Xiafan got five kills; to the announcement of his retirement on June 3, 2020, revealing that he was injured and unable to continue, 8 years of time made the name "Uzi" deeply engraved in the hearts of Chinese e-sports fans.
Canyon and the summoners are still relishing his legend, and after retiring, Jane prides herself on having a new life and a new goal for the future.
On the sidelines of the 2021 Weibo Night event, The Paper conducted an exclusive interview with Uzi face-to-face to look back at his glory and loneliness.
When he talks about the stage of the past, his eyes become bright and a smile appears on his face. To paraphrase the commentary from the 2013 battle for UZI fame, his love of esports has never been extinguished, "He's still alive".
"I didn't deliberately want to retire, in case I had to come back."
The Paper: How was life after retirement?
Uzi: After retiring, live broadcasting became the main job, the daily live broadcast time was about 5 to 10 hours, the main content was still based on my favorite League of Legends, I would play every day, or play Rank (Note: qualifying) to maintain the feel.
Sometimes I also play other games and blacken with my friends, which is also a kind of entertainment and enjoyment for me. Because in the past, when playing professionally, the team stipulated that other games could not be played during training, and the focus of life and everything they did revolved around training, which was a very simple three-point line.
There is more time for life to be owned, and it is richer. You can go to eat delicious food and watch movies with the people around you, (laughing and pointing to yourself) You see that I must be the kind of person who loves to eat. In the future, I also hope to travel with my family, I have been to Sanya before, and I like the feeling that I can enjoy the sea breeze when I wake up.
The Paper: How did you feel during this process?
Uzi: In the beginning, it was actually difficult to accept the reality of retiring. After a few months, I began to feel that I missed the stage and the arena.
Although there is usually a feeling of ease and happiness, there will also be a feeling of loss. For example, if you have been on such a big stage before, so many people are watching you play, it is worth it for you to pay more training, because that moment is what you want. But when you retire, although there are many people watching the live broadcast, the gap is still quite large.
In fact, regardless of whether they retire or not, every professional player is eager to get on the field. Especially when watching the game, seeing other players play that kind of very wonderful operation, I myself will be very eager to go to the show, before and after retirement.
Now that more than half a year has passed, I don't really think about retiring, what if I will return?
The Paper: Regardless of the contract, club and other factors, do you want to return to the field?
Uzi: To be honest, it's a must to want to get back on the field, and if I'm physically acceptable and then I'm in good shape, I'm absolutely willing and I've been working towards that goal.
Viewers who have watched my live broadcast know that I am now playing League of Legends not to say that I will lose this game, not to summarize or pay attention to my mistakes, I will still maintain a high intensity to treat, just like in the previous training game. Although there is no way to be stared at like before, there is still basic self-discipline in order to maintain their own state.
The Paper: What is your motivation to get back on the field?
Uzi: I think the motivation is that I have met a lot of fans on the road this year, and they see me say more, that is, they want to see me come back to the field after my body recovers.
In fact, for me, this is also a goal and a challenge, but the motivation given by the fans is still quite large. I think there's still a possibility of coming back because all aspects of my body are moving in a good direction, but I think I still have a lot of work to do.
The Paper: Do you probably know how many Weibo followers you have? Do you visit regularly?
Uzi: More than 5 million. In fact, in the past 8 years, there has been growth, I myself will not especially look at the number of fans, but I can see that every year there are some new people who support me, thank you very much to those fans who support me on Weibo, I can interact with you more in the future.
I think Weibo allows more people to understand the e-sports event and some developments and trends of e-sports. In fact, I myself am now using Weibo to know the results of some events.
The Paper: How is your body recovering now?
Uzi: My body is much more recovered than before. Before playing professional, that kind of training mode you can't break, ten hours a day training, you may insist on a week or two weeks, and in the third week you will want to say, can I take a break? But reality does not allow it. For me, I can't stop (train) when my body can't stand it, and only when I usually pay enough, will there be results on the field.
I've been working out since I got out of the army, but because I love to eat, my weight hasn't changed much. I also told the coach that I could practice, but I couldn't stop eating. The coach agreed, saying that I don't have to be a muscular macho man, but I need to maintain a normal physical function. He also knew that my muscle strain was severe, so he went through some rehabilitation to help me recover.
I now train four or five times a week, and the coach will design projects according to my interests, football, basketball, tennis, and my favorite boxing, so that I practice every day with a sense of freshness, not so boring and tired, the whole process is still quite happy.
"Training is day after day, year after year"
The Paper: When you played professionally in your early years, you had a lot of training, can you tell us more about it?
Uzi: Basically, most professional esports players have a similar training schedule. For example, every day at 12 noon, eat a good meal and start training, play Rank by yourself, and then team training, until 6 or 7 o'clock the next morning. There may be some players who will practice on their own, and they may have less time to sleep every day.
And so it goes, day after day, year after year.
The Paper: Do you think it's worth it?
Uzi: It's worth it. Because many professional e-sports players work so hard, for their goals and ideals. For me, my favorite thing is the feeling of standing on the field, and I love the environment of esports. So for what I love, I must do it well.
If you've trained with me before, you'll know that I'm training no less than any one player, and I believe that you'll pay back as much as you pay, and that effort must be real, not superficial.
The Paper: Do you think you need to be a peak esports pro, in addition to talent and hard work, what qualities do you need?
Uzi: I think mindset is really important. In the years when I first started playing professionally, as long as you didn't play well in the game, there would be a lot of people on the Internet to accuse and criticize you.
The concept of e-sports is still very vague, everyone thinks that you are playing games, and I am only sixteen or seventeen years old, I am a bit unbearable, my heart is so uncomfortable, I want to stand up and confront them. But then I slowly found that there is no point in you putting energy and time on this, it is better to do more important things, think about how to train next, and those things that do not need to be concerned are to try to let it pass.
I think a qualified e-sports player must accept these, bad play and mistakes are inevitable, you don't want to affect your state because of those negative things, you need to adjust your mindset and do the best you can.
I think it's a big part of being able to grow.
The Paper: What happened to your mentality from being impatient at the beginning to growing into a steady player?
Uzi: I feel like I've really honed it step by step. If you have played a profession for so many years, if you have not improved every year, whether it is strength or mentality, you will definitely be abandoned by this circle. Every year there will be a lot of new players, many stronger than you, maybe you won him in that year not because of the skill or strength, but because of your mentality and your experience in the competition. This is true every year.
Sometimes the field changes rapidly, and the players are easily on the head, and they are suddenly killed or how they will be very angry, affecting the next operation and judgment. This is something that every player needs to experience and change.
Like I used to argue with my teammates not only in the game, but even if there are some unpleasant things in reality, I may argue. After a few years, the people around me reminded me and I slowly realized the problem, so I began to adjust myself as much as possible, such as a more effective way of communication, rather than arguing.
"I was lost and I'm thankful I was able to stick with it"
The Paper: Looking back on your career, do you have any thoughts?
Uzi: The biggest feeling I feel right now is that I'm thankful that I was able to stick with it.
One year I didn't make it to the World Championships, and it was a low point. Maybe I played a little small score before, I was a little inflated, and I ended up joining a strong team but didn't come up with results, at that time I was particularly disappointed in myself and suddenly lost.
And there have been too many temptations in the last few years. For example, income, you suddenly have money, the age is almost the same, why do you have to train so hard, it is better to change careers.
I look back now and think that if I had retired early and not continued to stay on the field, I would have regretted it. So in the end I stuck to the path of the professional arena, and I felt like I was doing the right thing.
The Paper: At the beginning of your career, did you have any ideas?
Uzi: Not really. I had just gone to the pro team audition, and I wasn't even 16 years old. I was content to learn and not to do, to play games and be scolded, and suddenly I had a chance to make money and do something I liked.
The family was against me going to play professionally, and repeatedly rejected the other party. In the end, my solution was to let them accompany me personally. The first time was at the training ground in Hainan, my father took me over, found that the conditions were still good, and allowed me to try.
The Paper: How did your father think of you in professional esports?
Uzi: Growing up, my father would support me as long as it was something I really wanted to do. Including the matter of playing professional, I said I wanted to try, and he personally accompanied me, which was a kind of recognition and encouragement for me.
In fact, at that time, A few days after arriving in Hainan, I was seriously ill, maybe I was not satisfied with the water and soil, I had a high fever, and I couldn't eat. At that time, my father was particularly worried, called me a "120" ambulance, and stayed with me until I was completely well before he left, buying all the daily necessities before leaving, and there was a feeling of the father in Zhu Ziqing's "Back Shadow".
I think a lot of professional esports players start out very young, not yet adults, and when they leave home alone and leave their parents to go to an unfamiliar environment, the support and understanding of their families is especially important.
The Paper: Do you have any ideas for the future?
Uzi: First of all I don't think I'm going to be a coach. Because what the coach has to do is not only to train a player, he wants to lead the whole team. What I want more is to contribute to the entire esports system. For example, find some talented players, discover and cultivate them, and let them go on the right path with a better and larger stage and space.
The Paper: How do you think you can surpass Uzi?
Uzi: Actually, I don't think I should say that I am surpassing one person, because I actually have a lot of regrets in my words, and I could have done better. I think it's better for everyone to work hard with me, because professional players really need a goal, such as a championship, and you are right to move towards this goal, rather than completely overtaking me as a goal.
"Conquered the invincible"
The Paper: You just mentioned the championship, what do you think is different from the experience of winning the Asian Games?
Uzi: At the beginning I got the message that I could go to the Asian Games, and I was very enthusiastic. I had only heard that the Asian Games might have a League of Legends project, but this time it was determined that I was at home during the offseason, and the next day I immediately packed up my things and went to Shenzhen to assemble.
But seriously, that time was really bumpy, and everyone was facing a completely unfamiliar training model.
First of all, the players come from different clubs, everyone needs to run in, and there are often disputes between teammates; secondly, the training time is similar to going to work, getting up early, eating breakfast every day, and sleeping early at night, it is difficult for us to change all at once, so the state is also particularly poor.
Sure enough, playing Korea in the group stage, they can win us at will, and the pressure is really big.
The kind of pressure is not the same as the usual game, the Asian Games are only once in a few years, and it may not be our turn next time; and when it comes to national honor, everyone, including the coaching team, is actually under the pressure of "must win".
The Paper: When you were in the S3 World Championship, you also wore a team uniform with a national flag, is there any different feeling?
Uzi: Of course it's different. At S3, we represented Chinese clubs, and esports was not really recognized. But this time to raise the five-star red flag again, I think a large number of people have a recognition of us, and even have recognition.
So at the end of the award, when the national flag was raised and the national anthem was played, the feeling of excitement and pride was unparalleled.
The Paper: At that time, the South Korean team's single was Faker?
Uzi: Yes, that was the first time I'd shook his hand in the past in a big game like this, the first time. (Note: The winner of the game takes the initiative to go to the loser zone to shake hands)
In the past, whenever I met him on the world stage, he came to shake my hand, but that time it was I who shook his hand, which was very happy for me. At that time, the Korean team was all the top, there was a feeling of invincibility, and everyone was really happy at the moment of playing.
In fact, until a moment before the game, our contradictions in the game have not been resolved, but when it comes to the field, it is really a let go, and everyone does their best to believe in each other. The moment you step on the field, all the difficulties don't feel hard.
The Paper: What do you think that trip to the Asian Games means for Chinese e-sports?
Uzi: I think the meaning is to let more people know about the industry. E-sports and chess are a bit like, not to say that you have to exercise every day to make your body stronger, more competition of things brain power and teamwork. There is a big difference between staying in an Internet café playing games and conducting professional e-sports training, which requires a lot of effort and sacrifice.
The Paper: In your 8-year career, you have participated in and witnessed the LPL from scratch, from barren to prosperous, do you have any feelings?
Uzi: The environment is definitely a lot better now, because I've been through the whole league from the beginning to the present, at that time, including the place where you live and some of your proper equipment, it is completely incomparable to the current situation.
For example, one year in Taicang, Jiangsu Province, seven or eight teams were staying in a hotel, probably living next door, and others shouting nice next door could be heard. The playing field was also temporarily changed from the warehouse, and we played inside for a day. Now the World Championships are all venues at the level of the Shanghai Mercedes-Benz Cultural Center, and there are dragons flying in the sky.
In addition, in the beginning, some teams did not even have a coach, and I did not have a coach at the beginning of my career, and a few good buddies got together to discuss playing until the S3 World Championship.
Now the professional e-sports club does not need to say coaches, there are special physiotherapists, rehabilitation teachers; the coaching team is not only a coach, but also divided into analysts and data engineers, and a special BP coach (Note: ban and pick, meaning the selection and prohibition of heroes during the game); if there is foreign aid, but also a special translator, this is already very formal.
I think these formal, scientific training can make a good player really release his talent and really bring it to the field.
"I'm not afraid to talk about failure, I'm afraid of my inability to accept it"
The Paper: Do you think back to the game you lost?
Uzi: Actually, I'm not a particularly strong person inside. For example, my last solo match (note: one-on-one game), in the end I lost, took the runner-up.
Later, I thought back to that game, and I felt that I couldn't accept it, I really couldn't accept it, because there was nothing to blame, just myself, why I suddenly made a mistake, or suddenly thought too much.
In fact, I don't often recall the scene of failure, I really can't stand it, and sometimes I even deliberately avoid it.
But I'm not afraid to talk to everyone about it or talk to me about the details. What I'm afraid of is that I can't accept it deep down. Just like everyone, you give it all, why go to the stage of the arena, at that moment you will have some mistakes that you should not make, and you can't accept yourself at that moment in your heart.
The Paper: Is it difficult to get out of failure?
Uzi: It's really hard, it's really hard, but I think after the failure, you have to be able to stick to it is the most important thing. Especially because I've failed so many times and so many people support you at the same time, I've got to bite the bullet and get back on my feet.
But when I came back, I was also very conflicted, thinking about starting training again, telling everyone that I would come back; but I seemed to be still immersed in the feeling of regret of failure, and I didn't know where to start for a while.
And sometimes self-doubt. But there is no way, as a professional player, all you can do is to continue to persevere.
The Paper: What does the arena and stage mean to you?
Uzi: I think what I enjoy the most is on the field. I would stand on the field and breathe, to smell the air, and I felt that it was different from the air I usually breathe.
After putting on the headphones, the attention is all focused on the game. Someone asked me, do you notice the audience during the game? I recalled it carefully, but there was. Why should I say that I think about it carefully, because at that time, all my attention was on the screen and the mouse, and I didn't have time to look and think about things offstage. But in fact, intentionally or unintentionally, the afterglow will still be seen, but there is no time to consider it at the moment.
Offstage, there are so many spectators watching you, cheering for you, thrilling for you, that moment is what I enjoy the most, which is the meaning of my hard training. Standing on the field is my most fulfilling moment as an e-sports pro.
Editor-in-Charge: Huang Fang