Humorous joke "God Calculates"

Old Kim was a carpenter who had broken his ankle tendons by walking a hammer during a labor and had since been on crutches ever since. Unable to work, Old Jin became obsessed with fortune telling. He bought a lot of books and went to the home of a famous fortune teller nearby to communicate, and soon he announced that he would do the math.

The people in the village did not believe him, but soon, a person from a foreign village came to tell his fortune and suddenly started the name of old Jin. People say that he is God's calculation, and his calculation is extremely accurate!

One evening, Old Jin was sitting on the kang drinking a small wine, when he suddenly saw a man hurrying outside. As soon as this man entered the house, Old Jin said, "Is it here to calculate the gua?" ”

"Well, yes, sir, I want you to do the math..."

Before he could finish speaking, Old Jin put down the wine cup and waved his hand and said, "Don't say it first, let me see what you want to count!" ”

After Old Jin finished speaking, he raised his right hand, quickly clicked his thumb at the joints of his index and middle fingers, read a word in his mouth, and suddenly stopped and said: "Oh, big brother, you have lost something, you are still a big animal!" ”

"Yes, yes, yes! Sir, you're right! ”

"Don't argue first, I'll see... It's a horse, it's a red horse! Right? ”

"Sir, you are such a living immortal! Help me see, which direction do I have to look for? Can you still find it? ”

Old Jin did not speak either, and took out a small bamboo tube from a small wooden box in the kang, and poured out six copper coins from the small bamboo tube: "Tell me what time your horse was lost, and then you put these six copper coins back into the bamboo tube." Remember, be sincere! ”

The big man nodded his head, obeying his orders. Old Jin picked up the bamboo tube, shook it three times to the left, three times to the right, three times up, three times down, tilted it toward the table, and poured out six copper coins. Then, staring at the six big coins, he looked at them for a while, and then he said the words in his mouth: "When the horse goes to time and space, the southwest does not return at noon." The owner is shocked but not dangerous, and the dusk must return. ”

The big man was confused by what he said, scratched his head and asked, "Sir, what is going on, can my horse be found?" ”

"Yes, doesn't this make sense, your horse will not be found if it is gone at the time of tatsumi or shi." If it is noon, you can't lose it, and you will find it when you are sure! ”

The big man heard the music and broke: "Then you say quickly, where do I have to go to find Wow?" ”

"If you go out from here and look southwest, you'll find it!"

Without saying a word, the big man went out to the southwest to find a horse.

Old Jin raised his glass again and continued to pour himself a drink.

In less than half an hour, I saw a group of people walking outside the courtyard, led by the big man who had just calculated the gua, who was leading a jujube red horse and saying something noisily.

Old Jin listened carefully, and it turned out that the big man was telling the people who came after him how to calculate how accurate old Jin was, just like a god. How did he find the jujube red horse according to what Old Jin said, saying that he had a nose and eyes, and the people who listened all looked at Old Jin with admiration...

Since then, the name of old Jin has spread farther and farther, more and more gods, and more and more people are looking for him to calculate the gua, and after a few years, old Jin has become a "living immortal" within a radius of one hundred and eighty miles. Although Old Jin could no longer do carpentry work, he had to feed a family of six with his calculations. Because after all, the fortune teller is a Mongolian business, and later the old Jin also washed his hands.

One night, old Jin drank some shochu again, and the couple was idle, and his wife asked him: "Old Jin, to tell the truth, how did you know that the man came to let you help him find a horse that day?" ”

Old Jin took a sip of wine, smiled and said, "That day, as soon as the big man entered the courtyard, I found that he was holding a horse cage in his hand. ”

"That's the way it is! How do you know that the horse is in the southwest direction? ”

"Haha, this is a secret, before dinner I sat in front of our house, I saw a jujube red horse flying like running southwest!" You say, can there still be something wrong with that? So I don't have to know where that horse went! Hahaha. ”

The old Jin daughter-in-law snatched Old Jin's wine cup, took a sip of the wine, and laughed and said, "Old Jin, Old Jin, you only know one, you don't know the second, do you know who that big man is?" ”

Old Jin asked in surprise, "Who is it?" Do you know him? ”

"Tell you what, he's my cousin's iron brother Li Da stunned!" Since you were slashed on the foot, you can no longer work to earn money, and our family of six is pointing at you. What to do? Finally, I finally thought of a way to let my cousin find Li Dayan, let him take advantage of you sitting in front of the door, deliberately let the jujube red horse run away, and then let him take the horse cage head to find you to calculate. I know you're clever, it's really right, and then Li Daquan and his cousin will hype up how accurate your calculation is, so that we have today! ”

Listening to his daughter-in-law's words, Old Jin's hand holding the wine glass stopped in mid-air, and his mouth opened widely!