Author: Wang Shuo
Source web novel
"I'm a writer named Baokang—you haven't heard of it?"
"Oh no, I'm sorry."
In the office of the "three ts" company, the manager Yu Guan is receiving the third customer in the morning, a young man with a thin skin and tender flesh with a brain.
"My pen name is Zhiqing."
"I still can't remember. You say, what's the matter with you, you don't want to experience life with us? ”
"No, no, my life foundation is thick enough without experiencing it. It's like this, I wrote something, very wonderful and weighty things, all are unpopular, anyone who looks at the head is 'buzzing', stupid for half a day - I don't say anything exaggerated, many people who have seen it think so, think that at least they can win a national award, but..."
"Lost?"
"To be precise, I didn't participate in the awards at all, and I don't think there was any hope. Lo and behold, I'm a self-aware person. Maybe you don't know much about things in the literary circle, which award is the result of balance, and some good works have gone up, but the same good works have not gone up. ”
"We're afraid we can't help this, we don't have any business ties with the Writers Association at the moment, and we lack attractive female staff."
"Oh, I'm not asking you to exercise for me. I don't care if I win a national prize, I'm actually very indifferent to fame and fortune, I just want my labor to get some kind of recognition, any award can be. ”
"You mean even a 'three-t' prize?" Yu Guan asked tentatively.
Bao Kang laughed nervously: "I'm really sorry, I'm really embarrassed, am I too explicit?" ”
"No, no, you're just right. Of course you want to be bigger? ”
"It doesn't matter how big or small, but it's grand, the prizes are great, rent the most luxurious theater, and hire some vice chairmen of the democratic parties — I have money."
"How about a gas conditioner for each person?"
"Everyone? I'm doing it for myself..."
"The red flowers also have green leaves to help, aren't you lonely standing on the stage by yourself?" Find a few fun ones. I want to give you awards as well as some famous writers, so that our award will be like that, and you can also be among the famous writers. Sharing the stage with famous writers to receive awards is how enviable it is to say. ”
"One air conditioner for one person, how much does it cost?" Although I would love to have the opportunity to stand side by side with famous writers, I don't want to lose my family because of it. ”
"If you do not approve of luxury, there are ways to save money, divide the award into one, two or three grades, the special prize is the air conditioner you get, the rest of the categories are different grades of 'fool' cameras, and then control the number of winners, we only choose the most famous."
"That's good, it's much more reasonable." Bao Kang smiled happily, "I have to air conditioning, others have to be 'fools'." You make a budget, and I'll pay you back. ”
"Can you bring your work with us to read when you come to pay for it?" Of course, we don't care which one wins you decide, I've never been so close to a real writer face to face, even if I have no connection with literature, I have to be moved. ”
"Yes." Bao Kang said both reservedly and humbly, "I can even sign your name." My most famous works are "The Legend of the Eastern Empress" published in the "Novel Group" and "I want to say I don't want to say but still want to say" published in "Writer's Forest". ”
"It's amazing, it must be interesting, I don't even have the heart to do anything else."
"You say, will those famous writers put on a stinky rack and refuse to accept the award?" Yu Guan sent the young writer to the door, and the young writer was suddenly a little worried.
Yu Guan comforted him: "Those who are not afraid, it is their business not to receive it, and they do not lead us to have hard hair." ”
"Thank you, thank you so much." The young writer turned to Yu Guan and shook hands warmly, "The lights are not clear, your words are really enlightening." ”
"You're welcome, our company's mission is to help people like you who have great ambitions but can't do anything about it."
＊＊＊
At the intersection of a bustling commercial street, Yang Zhongzheng strode toward a girl standing at the bottom of the police watchtower who he had never met before.
"I'm sorry I'm late, I'm in a hurry or late, you waited for half a day, right?"
"It doesn't matter, you don't need to apologize." Liu Meiping looked at Yang Zhong curiously, "Anyway, I'm not waiting for you, it doesn't matter if you don't come." ”
"You're just waiting for me, but you don't know it yourself." No one else came today except me. ”
"Really? You know better than I do what I'm doing—don't mess with me, the police are right next to me. ”
"Did I recognize the wrong person?" Yang Zhong was still smiling and not embarrassed at all, "Aren't your name Liu Meiping?" Is the department store handkerchief counter team leader, waiting for the doctor Wang Mingshui, in the end who of us got it wrong? ”
"But Wang Mingshui has two pimples next to his nose."
"Oh, his two pimps are still there. This morning he was taken from his home to the emergency room, and one of the leaders bled profusely.
So he hurriedly called our company and entrusted my company to send someone to the appointment on his behalf, and he couldn't bear to let you be upset. My name is Yang Zhong, I am a salesman of the 'three ts' company, this is the business card. “
"'Three ts' companies?" Liu Meiping hesitantly took the business card handed by Yang Zhong and glanced at it, "What is that?" Listen to the name like a person who sells pesticides. ”
"'Three ts' is the abbreviation for solving difficulties for people and relieving people of boredom for others."
"What kind of thing are you?" Brazen idlers? ”
"We are decent businessmen with the aim of filling in the gaps in social services. Don't you think you'd be boring today without me? ”
"But I'm not used to it, I was waiting for my boyfriend, but I came to an affectionate stand-in, let me talk to this stand-in and make love... Like the real thing? ”
"You don't have to empathize at all, and our work ethic doesn't allow me to seduce you in that direction, we swear to our customers." Probably so you know better, I just want to take care of you like Wang Mingshui for a day, accompany you for a day. ”
"Are you as gentle and understanding as he is?"
"I don't dare say that it is not the slightest deviation - that would be messy - I will try to follow the common sense of man." Where did you plan to go to play today? ”
The two men walked side by side into the street.
"He promised to buy me a fur coat today."
"Oh, he didn't let me do it for me."
"I said it wouldn't be the same, Mingshui has always been generous."
"It's boring to be alive."
A stout man sat across from Yu Guan's desk and said dejectedly.
"It's boring to be alive." Yu Guan mind absently echoed.
"So what to do?"
"Is there any way?" If you don't have the energy, you have to live. Yu Guan raised his head.
"I don't want to live anymore." Han zi stared at Yu Guan.
"Don't, don't want to live." Yu Guan muttered and exhorted, "It is better to die than to live." ”
"Well, if you let me live, I'll live." You find me something to do, I'm bored. ”
"Can you play cards?" Let's play cards, shall we? Yu Guan proposed.
"It's boring." Hanzi shook his head.
"What about chess?"
"It's even less boring."
"Going to the park? rowing? Watching a movie? ”
"The more you talk about it, the less boring it gets." The man gasped, "You are also these clichés." ”
"So what do you say?" I'll accompany you in everything I do. ”
"You're also with you when you jump off the building—do I want you to accompany you?" You're not a woman either. ”
"Oh, we don't pimp people here. There is a place dedicated to this – marriage agencies. You have too much free time to practice calligraphy, enjoy music or volunteer work. ”
"See your ghost, after half a day of trouble, I spent two cents to register and you gave me these ideas, isn't this a Mongolian?"
"I am not a god, nor am I a visa administrator in the U.S. Embassy, and my personal happiness depends on the progress of society."
"Do you think you're alive?" The man asked with a burning look.
Yu looked at the man and could not see whether he was provoking or not.
"It's very exciting."
"I think you're boring, you're so boring, so weak that I don't want to smoke you."
"Why are you this faceless one back?" Then 'chop' with your buddies! ”
A young woman scolded Ma Qing in her apartment.
"Don't go home, how boring it is to be with your wife, you will 'chop' with your buddies all night, maybe you can 'chop' a schoolgirl who faints with watery eyes like 'chopping' me in the first place!" 」 What bird do you say you changed? People have alcohol addiction, chess addiction, big smoking addiction, what addiction can be said, have not heard of like you have a 'cutting' addiction, where to sit on the ass is heavy eyes glowing, pumping toilet like a pull on the spurt of water, do not know whether you know or not to hear or not, I already know that there is this specialty, Sino-Soviet negotiations please go to get it. It's like a myna outside, and when I go home to see me, I have no words, and I'm annoyed if I say one more word to you. ”
"I'll change it."
"Change the fart! What have you changed in your life? In addition to what the urine kang changed from birth to what it looks like now. The young woman cried, "However, it is resolute, there is no way to pass, I can still see each other before marriage, and after marriage, I have become a little widow." ”
The young woman raised her hand and swept the cups on the table to the ground, and then threw a tray of tea cups on the ground one by one. Ma Qing also grabbed the ashtray and fell to the ground, and then picked up the TV: "But that's it!" ”
"Don't pay." The young woman screamed and pounced on him and held his hand, This can't fall—are you here to make me angry or to me off? ”
"You said your husband was in a hurry to catch something and drop something." Ma Qing said with a straight face, "You also demanded that I must be like him." ”
"But my husband is in a hurry and does not drop valuables, you are free to play."
"You didn't make it clear."
"It goes without saying."
"Well, put the TV back in. What's the next word? ”
"It's really bad, it seems that your company sent you without good professional training." Below is my love..."
"I love you."
Ma Qing and the young woman looked at each other in shock.
"I love you." Ma Qing repeated it, and seeing that the young woman still did not respond, she said again, "Don't make trouble, baby." ”
The young woman laughed.
Ma Qingsheng blushed and defended himself: "I can't learn more like this, this word is piercing." ”
"Well, I'm not demanding of you." The young woman smiled and waved her hand, "That's it." ”
"In fact, I am good to you in my heart, and I don't say it in my mouth."
"You'd better still be bad at me in your heart, say it with your mouth." "Isn't it now advocating silent giving?" Ma Qing's appearance was like being grabbed by a martial arts master in the crotch, "It's really nice that you are angry." "Okay, that's it, stop torturing you." The young woman laughed and burped, "It's really hard for you." "It's nothing hard for me, as long as you're satisfied." "Satisfied and satisfied," the young woman took out her wallet to give Ma Qing banknotes, "it is not so interesting to rectify my husband, and the next time something will look for you." "Alas, life," Yang said heavily, spitting out smoke rings, looking at the ceiling of the cold drink room, and saying metaphorically, "life is like that." It's playing soccer, a bunch of people running around, maybe they can't kick a ball in the whole game, but they have to play for their lives, because the audience is cheering and cheering. Life is all about running around and listening to others. "I find you very deep." Liu Meiping stared at Yang Zhong with her hands on her cheeks, and even forgot to drink yogurt, "Do you usually like to think?" "Yes." Yang Zhong's eyes said hollowly, "I usually love to think, and I am very deep. "Did you go to college?" "Well, go on." "No wonder, people who have been to college are very worried and thoughtful." "Do you also like to think?" "Ah, I love to think blindly, I love to think about people. A profession like mine is a profession of dealing with people, and I have to talk to thousands of people every day, and I observe the characteristics of these thousands of people. For example, fat people, generally love to buy large handkerchiefs, fat people have more snot, thin people buy smaller ones. "Is there a relationship between glandular secretion and weight?" "Of course there is a relationship, everything in the world has nothing to do with whom? You and this yogurt bottle to chew up the kiss may still have a little blood relationship, your ancestors died, burned into ashes, raised into the ground, even the soil dug out, burned into porcelain or glass, filled with yogurt, sold to you. "That's dialectics, right?" Relatively plain. "I don't know if it is, I just know that everything has a reason, sneezing, no one has written a paper of hundreds of thousands of words, got a doctorate." 」 "There's such a thing, we circulated this paper when we were in school. People don't call it sneezing, it's a vulgar name, people call it 'a violent and vocal jet phenomenon caused by the stimulation of the nasal mucosa.' ’。 "You know so much." "Where, or you know more." "You know a lot." "Shame on you." "Humble and humble." "Let's not argue, this will not be the end, you love me." "I really praise you sincerely. I think it's very much for you, especially Zhiyin. "Don't say goodbye, I can't stand to boast." "I'm going to get angry that you're so humble, as if I'm praising you for harming you." "Then even if I know a lot, in fact, I think I can talk to you very well." "I'm very happy." "I'm also very happy." When Ma Qing returned to the office exhausted, Yu Guan was being dragged around the office by the man by the neck collar. "Don't do this, let me go, let people see that it is not decent." "Just fulfill me, just slap two mouths, just two." "No, I can't eat, I'm weak." "Just let me do what I want to do, I've never returned to the Lord myself when I was so old." "Other things can be discussed, but this thing is resolutely not." I'm telling you that if you move one of my fingers, I'll fight with you. "They are so selfish, they only care about themselves and do not care about others, what is to solve problems for others to relieve people's boredom, as soon as they touch themselves, they will not do it." Hanzi let go of Yu Guan and cried, "I am so unfortunate, I am really not free." Yu Guan took a breath, pulled the wrinkled clothes, and motioned for Ma Qing to put the softball bat in his hand back behind the door. He sat down after walking back to his desk and said to the man, "Don't cry your nose, the registration fee will be refunded to you and leave quickly." The man wept, took two cents from Ma Qing's hand, and clutched it all the way out the door." Hu Da, what kind of bad luck did we do. After the door closed, Ma Qing took a few steps over, sat down on Yu Guan's desk, and said loudly: "I go from house to house every day to make people scold, and you almost let people beat you, so Yang Chongsheng is blessed, and every day he goes to the street to hang his arms and use coupons." I'm going to work with him to plant crops, and I have to fallow the fields. "We don't have a gentleman's agreement first, appoint people on the basis of merit, and teach because of talent." Yu Guan leaned back in his chair and said wearily, "You are too gentle to let you talk to other people's girlfriends, you turn temporary helpers into full contracts every time, I can't let a husband knock on the door every other day." "According to you, I can only be scolded by women forever and will not have the opportunity to communicate with them?" "Don't let them, she, just one, one whatever you want to communicate, eat the food bite by bite, fight one by one." Sometimes your kind of old and young, tolerant and tolerant spirit makes everyone with a sense of justice feel angry, that is immoral..." "But Yang Zhong is not a eunuch either." The phone rang, and Yu Guan reached out to pick it up and retorted: "But he knows how to gather and extract rough essence, and you always swallow dates." He has patience, can for a day and still relish, you can't hold the dustpan in three minutes and then pull your leg to find the next one... Hey, who are you looking for? "Just look for you." A humming male voice came from the microphone, "I am Yang Zhong, I can't hold on, this woman is so entangled that I can't stand it." I was just praising you for your patience and. "You don't know that this woman is a modernist, the kind who loves to discuss life, I have no words, and the names of foreigners I remember have been exhausted." "Dealing with modernists is my strength." Ma Qing said on the side. Yu Guan glanced at him and said, "Tell her nietzsche." "Nietzsche I don't know, and I can't 'cut' the mountain anymore, she has made me the first confidant, and the look in her eyes is no longer right." That's not okay, we're going to be responsible for that doctor, you're going to retire. "She didn't allow me to retreat and desperately tried to put me up." "Well, we'll go and save you right away, and you'll first bring the topic down and change the image so that she thinks you're a vulgar person." "You can come soon, I am confused, in the past I heard that I did not believe it, but now I can taste the power of modernism... She came up to me and I had to hang up the phone. "Remember, the transition to Freud." "Come on, I can't hold on a little longer." Ma Qing giggled, jumped off the desk, and excitedly paced around the room waiting for Yu Guan to stand up and clean up the desk. "Freud I am good at, I am Freud's Chinese descendant." "You are an automatic Chinese replica of the Floyd case." Yu Guan walked around the desk, "I don't allow you to take advantage of the opportunity." "*** It was a sunny noon, the crowds on the street were bumper, all the small restaurants and fast food restaurants were crowded with people eating, and some people without seats even brought meals to the street to stand and eat. It took Yu Guan and Ma Zhong half a day to find Yang Zhong and female customers at the cold drink counter in the foyer of a movie theater painted with color advertisements. The movie theater had just left, the entrance hall was crowded, everyone was talking loudly, noisy and noisy, they crowded to Yang Zhong's side, and he didn't notice it. Yang Zhong was obviously exhausted, and he looked confused in the face of the leader of the handkerchief counter who was gushing and radiant. "You must want to marry your mother, right?" "No, no, it's my dad who married my mom, and I can't marry my mom before my dad and my mom get married." "I'm not saying that you and your mother are married, that's not a system, and no one can marry their own mother, a close relative." I mean you want to marry your mom but you can't get married because there's your dad unless your dad is castrated and it doesn't help because there's ethics, so you're miserable, you can't see who wants to marry your mom, but you can't get married because of how your dad said it again, I can't understand it anyway, it's just like that Chinese the record says that you pick the object is actually picking your mom. "But my mother is a one-eyed dragon." "His mother is not a one-eyed dragon, he will not want to marry his mother to have a brother or sister for himself, because before he can castrate his father, his father will castrate him first because his father eats eight steamed buns and two pounds of pork and works at the breeding station Castrated tens of thousands of pigs are oily, without a knife hand squeeze is a squeeze ball, the Japanese people respectfully call him dad testicular Taro." Ma Qing slashed out and leaned over Liu Meiping and sat down and said something to her face until she was stunned and overwhelmed before she stopped and smiled. "This is my colleague, Ma Qing, this is our manager Yu Guan." Yang Zhong returned to his soul and became active, introducing Ma Qing, who was staring at Liu Meiping with good eyes and smiling, and Yu Guan, who had just dragged a chair and sat down, to Liu Meiping, "They are all my teachers, high-quality students majoring in instant noodles in the Jiaotong University Cutting Department, and members of the Central Cutting Committee." "Really?" But I rarely talk about life with three people at the same time. "It doesn't matter." Ma Qing sideways blocked Yu Guan and Yang Zhong, "You can mainly talk to me, and let them both supplement where they haven't talked thoroughly." "Don't be so close to me, I don't know you yet." Isn't that doctor special like your dad, is he doing a good job? "What are you talking about?" I can't understand your words..." Yu Guan smiled and turned his face to Yang Zhong and said, "You spent a morning here?" Didn't go in to see a movie? "Look, Obido The Donkey in Action." "Foreign films?" "Where, domestic films, you don't know that now domestic films are all foreign names?" "Well, I also feel very empty, and it is very boring to get married." Ma Qing said in a tone, "Looking around is either your own father or your own mother." Which is like a foreign country, who can sleep with anyone, everyone is convenient, they all have a house, do you have a house yourself? Yu Guan and Yang Zhong laughed together, and Yang Zhong took out a cigarette and handed it to Yu Guan, and the two heads were on fire together." ...... I especially admire people's foreign women, how to sleep without twisting the man's arm to go to the store to buy this and buy that... I have not been screwed, Yang Chonglao was screwed, dislocated several times. Ma Qing turned his head and blinked his eyes and asked Yang Zhong with a smile: "Is it Yang Zhong?" Yang Zhong bumped into the soot and smiled, "Just make me happy." "Let's go Yang Zhong." Liu Meiping stretched her neck out to reveal her face from behind Ma Qing's head. "Sit a little longer and sit a little longer." Yang Chong said. "You're dragging our brothers away, you've already taken over, and Yang Zhong has other appointments this afternoon." "Is it Yang Zhong?" "Yes." Yang nodded emphatically and smiled at Liu Meiping, "I can't help myself." "Just talk to me down-to-earth, I want to talk to you a lot." "You're not serious, or you can invite me to dinner, I'm hungry to sit here and listen to you." "If we are dating alone, I will definitely invite you to eat, at this time I am in the office, and if I want to invite you to dinner, I will have to ask our manager."