Text/Xia Xiaoyou
When was the last time you had a crash? Because of what? And how to solve it?
The reason why I asked this question is because I have seen several news recently, which is really unbelievable, a college entrance examination candidate in Pingdingshan, Henan Province, did not do a good job in the exam, and his mentality collapsed, so he got up and tore up the answer cards of other candidates; a bus driver in Anshun, Guizhou, because he was dissatisfied with the amount of compensation for demolition and relocation and resented, he pulled a car of innocent people to death.
In the decades of life, who has not had a little sadness, who has not encountered setbacks of one kind or another, who has not been helpless to collapse? Some people grow up in unfortunate native families, some people are betrayed by their most trusted friends, some people are abandoned by their loved ones, some people mess up important exams, some people lose their jobs at the most difficult times...
It is said that people who have not cried in the middle of the night are not enough to talk about life. Yes, the adult world is so sad and so difficult.
However, as long as you survive those most decadent, mournful, and self-conscious moments, you will suddenly be cheerful, and in the words of Zhang Wei's lyrics, "a few words floating in the sky, that is not a thing."
For example, Su Mingyu, grew up in a patriarchal family, not welcomed by his mother, obviously has excellent grades, but even the simple appeal of reading can not be satisfied, and then look at the two brothers in the family, the situation is very different, the brother wants to study abroad, good! My brother wants to get married and buy a house, good!
Not only is life a major event, in the bits and pieces of life, Su Mingyu is the "gas bag" at home, the brother eats fried eggs, she can only drink white porridge, the brother only does homework/play after school, but she has to take care of a bunch of housework, but also to help the brothers wash clothes... If Su Mingyu continues to entangle with this family, there is a high probability that she will become the next Fan Shengmei.
However, Su Mingyu did not, she chose to draw a clear line with this family, and went to society under the insult of "white-eyed wolf"! More fortunately, she later met her master Lao Meng, because of Lao Meng's point and training, Su Mingyu, who was "gas packed", was able to grow into a "workplace elite" Su Mingyu.
You see, what about the same situation, whether you will become Fan Shengmei or become Su Mingyu, after all, it is up to you to decide. Sometimes people's fate is between that thought. The so-called "one thought of heaven, one thought of hell" is exactly this truth.
Of course, even if everyone has su Mingyu's ambition, they may not have the luck to meet Lao Meng. So how can it be good? I think that if I can come across a good book at such a time, I am probably lucky, such as this Bi Shumin's "A Man is a Cavalry".
Although I saw some comments on the Internet long before I opened the book, saying that this book is a common inspirational chicken soup on the market, I did not dare to agree after reading it.
The essays included in the book are all written by Bi Shumin based on what she has seen and heard in the work of female soldiers of the Ali Plateau Army, attending physicians of internal medicine, psychological counselors, and writers, and may not be so profound, but most of the insights are quite insightful, making people admire the author's ability to make four or two thousand pounds while watching, as well as the great wisdom of quietly explaining others. The charm of mature women, the energy is so huge!
The number of essays included in the book is large, the length varies, here are a few of the most eye-catching to share one or two:
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >, in the face of rebellious girls, how to explain will not make the other party disgusted? </h1>
What would you do if you were asked to persuade an adolescent girl who had her hair to be colorful and dye her hair back to its true colors? If you are going to tell the other party a big reason, I advise you to give up as soon as possible, because I am afraid that as soon as you open your mouth, the other party will tell you to get out of the egg in disgust.
How did Bi Shumin do it?
Her friend has a daughter who is in the rebellious period, her hair is dyed in a fancy way, and her hairstyle is extremely non-mainstream, and anyone who looks at it can't help but be ashamed, but in the face of such a child, Bi Shumin unusually does not mention each other's hair.
Until the girl couldn't help but ask her why she didn't express her opinion on her hair, Bi Shumin told the girl without hesitation, "Don't worry, I'm going to talk about your hair soon, you have to give me some time." ”
This kind of unconventional approach aroused the girl's favor, because the adults she knew would come up to her and accuse her and preach to her... Bi Shumin did not pay attention to her hair at all, but chatted with her about other things, helped her solve the most difficult problems, and did not mention the word hair until she was about to say goodbye.
Once again, the girl couldn't resist asking her, "You haven't said anything about my hair yet." ”
Bi Shumin stroked her hair and said, "Your hair texture is very good, I like all the natural colors, if you think this variety of colors are good, it is naturally harmless." It's your freedom. ”
The girl replied, "This kind of hair can show my personality and freedom." ”
Bi Shumin answered: "Hair is hair, they are not responsible for taking on thoughts. True personality and freedom is the brain and things inside the hair, can you dye the nerves with color? ”
The highest realm of persuasion is presumably nothing more than that.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > pain and suffering are inseparable parts of life</h1>
I am a person who especially does not like rainy days, when I was a child, walking to school and school, walking on muddy country roads, I always had to get muddy water on my shoes and pants, which felt really bad.
Even when I grew up, I still didn't like rainy days, everywhere was wet, quilts and clothes couldn't be dried, in short, I didn't like rain from my bones.
But watching this article "You Can't Ask for an Ocean Without Storms" made me a little ashamed.
Once, Bi Shumin made an appointment to go to a city in the desert and contacted a local friend before leaving. Friends repeatedly told me on the phone: "Teacher Bi, you must be mentally prepared to come to us, we rarely have good weather here, and yellow sand is the norm..."
Bi Shumin immediately said to the other party: "Whether it is good weather or bad weather, we can't choose." The weather is part of you, that is, the yellow sand covers the sun, and it is also your characteristic. ”
Yes, whether it is a clear sky, or a downpour, or a yellow sand covering the sun, that is a part of nature, just like everyone's life must have rainy days, pain and suffering, are an inseparable part of life, there is no way to avoid, it is better to accept it gladly.
"Just like you can't always eat fine grains, then you may get colorectal cancer, you must also eat crude fiber." Bad weather, tragedy, death, illness, are all crude fibers in life, and we can only accept it safely. You can't ask for an ocean without storms. It's not the sea, it's the quagmire. This passage is so good!
In the future, maybe I still don't like rainy days, but I will definitely be more tolerant and a little more in awe of rainy days.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > third, instead of complaining about the ordinary birth, it is better to try to live a wonderful life</h1>
Many people should be dissatisfied with their origins, right? Or complain that you don't have a father/mother who is an official, or envy others with a golden spoon, or angry that you don't have the second generation of stars who will reincarnate...
It's just that some people are rarely envious, while some people are accustomed to complaining about others and pushing all the unhappiness to their parents. Bi Shumin once met a child who was born in the countryside and his parents were farmers with their backs to the sky facing the loess soil.
He hated his mother for being ugly, for inheriting the ugly genes to himself, refusing to go out on the street with her, and when he was in high school, his mother went to see him at school, and he actually lied that she was a beggar. He also hated his father, who was a village craftsman, and could not be compared with his classmates who were rich, powerful, or had a car to transport their children to and from school.
He believes that the reason why he is at the bottom of society is because of his parents, if he has a mother like Marilyn Monroe and a father like Qianlong, he can "lean on the tree to cool off."
In the face of such an extreme young man, Bi Shumin did not accuse him, but took him to see the world from another perspective:
"Your parents are so ordinary and poor, but they still raise you." You hate your mother for being ugly, but your mother never dislikes your looks. They are at the bottom of society, but they try their best to provide you with reading, let you go to the city, and have a broader vision and richer knowledge.
They know you are not proud of them, but they never bother with you, and they are as proud of you as ever. They have lifted your future on their weak shoulders, and I believe that this is not a hope for you in return, but a selfless and unrepentant love. ”
At the end of the story, the young man walks away thoughtfully, without the hostility when he came.
"A man is a cavalry", with one story after another to convey the great wisdom of life, so that every ordinary you and I understand: life is the existence of mud and sand, flowers and thorns coexist. The next time you fall into a meltdown and think your frustration is unique, turn it over.