A good marriage is to understand each other and support each other through this life. There are a few words between husband and wife that hurt the most. If you can, please never say it.
"All old husbands and old wives", how many marriages have been ruined
I watched a mediation show.
A couple has a bad relationship and breaks up ten years of married life under the camera.
The woman's eyes lit up with tears, talking about the grievances in her marriage:
When you fall leg, you still have to insist on working, take the baby, men never care about things, wait for dinner after work, push open the bowl and play mobile phones... In addition to daily necessities, the two have almost zero communication.
And the man responded coldly to this:
Old husband and wife, what else can I say?
The woman had to turn her eyes to the male mediator for help, trying to get him to mediate. I didn't expect the mediator to be on the side of the man:
Do you want a divorce for this? What is the reason for this? I tell you, your husband is good, makes more money than you, and honestly and generously, how many men come home after work, and now they come home after work?
The woman's mouth is blunt, reluctantly theorizing: But I don't think marriage should be like this...
The mediator interrupted her: You're just being too pretentious.
The woman said: But the life is particularly depressing.
The mediator shouted: That's your problem!
I've heard many married friends say that the biggest disappointment in marriage is that the other party always says that they are old husbands and wives, and what to do.
Indeed, after entering the marriage, the piles of chai rice oil and salt piles are all unconscious, and the days are more like family affection after a long time.
However, this is actually very wrong, and the perfunctory life of the old husband and wife is a kind of consumption of love.
Most women want this marriage to begin with love and be able to run through the rest of our lives, even if it is longer, it should not degenerate into affection.
It is precisely because life is trivial, so we need some details to embellish, and we need to take it seriously.
"Look at the husband (wife), who is much stronger than you!"
The pain of marriage is not because there are fewer, but because there are more.
Neighbor Aunt Zhang always likes to compare her husband with others.
When her husband worked overtime, she said: "You see how considerate Xiao Li is to his wife, he comes back very early every night, and even his wife goes to the supermarket with him." ”
However, Xiao Li in her mouth earns thousands of yuan in January, and outside the family, she still relies on his wife's subsidies, but Xiao Li's wife often envies her to spend money at will.
A while ago, a young couple moved in, watching people go to the gym every day, and she hated her husband for not being in good shape.
Aunt Zhang's mantra to her husband is that you see who is who is much better than you.
But in fact, her husband is not much worse than those she said, although he is a little busy, but when he comes home, he is very attentive to the children and the elderly, and the wives of the men she said are still envious of her.
Once, Aunt Zhang said this again, her husband was angry, and she was so angry that several neighbors heard the quarrel:
"Okay, I'm not as good as others everywhere, I'm so bad, why are you still willing to follow me?" If you don't want to get over it, you can't stand being degraded by you every day! ”
Aunt Zhang realized that if she casually spat on it, it would hurt people so much.
Dan Greenberg said in "Let Yourself Live a Miserable Life": "If you really want to live a miserable life, compare it with others." ”
In life, people always unconsciously compare their spouses with others, and some even only compare their relatively weak aspects with others.
Such comparisons not only hurt others, but also hurt themselves, because they can only see their own shortcomings, but they can not see what they have.
In fact, there are many ways to encourage the lover's self-motivation, and the worst one is to compare the lover with others.
Also, if your lover is really that bad, how did you look at him in the first place? People who only stare at the shortcomings of their lovers are sad and happy.
Some couples will quarrel with each other and say to their partners, "I shouldn't have married you in the first place!" ”
Inside and outside the words, all that is revealed is the disappointment and dissatisfaction with the current marriage.
The person who may say this sentence is really just dizzy, but the person who hears this is indeed completely denied, and a sentence not only negates years of effort, but also negates years of life.
It hurts the most.
"If it's not for children", don't say it easily
A few days ago, there was such a ridiculous news:
After a man in Taizhou, Zhejiang Province, suspected that after the birth of his son, his wife neglected to care about him and shifted the focus of his life to his 1-year-old son.
After getting drunk and arguing with his wife, he jumped from the fifth floor, but fortunately fell to the balcony on the third floor so that he was not seriously injured.
After seeing his wife go to see the children again, he jumped into the river again, but fortunately he was rescued by the police and was not in danger of life.
The woman told the police that the two of them were almost green plum bamboo horses, and the relationship had always been very good, but after giving birth to the child, the husband began to be jealous of the child.
On the afternoon of the incident, the woman found that there was something wrong with the child, her throat was crying and dumb, and her body was dirty, so she yelled at her husband a few words, who knew that her husband actually cried and made trouble saying that he didn't care about him and was going to commit suicide.
This news is very funny. Although this man's approach is a bit extreme, it cannot be denied that individual families will have similar problems. How many families, after marriage, because of the birth of children, neglect the love of their partners.
There are also many people who even quarrel and say, "If it weren't for the children, I would have divorced you a long time ago." ”
As everyone knows, the phrase "for the sake of children" has completely changed the meaning of your being together:
The reason why I am still with you is entirely for the sake of the children, so please stop being sentimental.
The maintenance of the marriage relationship was originally because two people had sustenance and dependence on each other in terms of emotions and life, so it was difficult to give up on each other.
But when this sentence is uttered, it completely shows that in the other person's heart, it is only for the sake of children to survive.
"It's ok..."
I have seen a wife complain about her husband, asking everything casually, sometimes hoping that he will give advice, but he always says that it is ok.
This kind of partner, we call the "deaf and dumb" type of partner.
Some men, outside left and right, listen to the six ways and look in all directions, and their brains whizz;
But as soon as I got home, it was like my head was offline, and I became a deaf, dumb, blind creature who could only breathe and play with mobile phones.
Whatever his wife said, he was casual, and when he was in a hurry, he came to make it up.
Men always think that marrying a woman home is the end of the matter, while women think that marriage is the beginning of life.
Therefore, the needs of men and women for marriage are not the same, and in marriage, women usually have higher spiritual needs than men.
Many times, women ask questions in order to get a response, not to hear a sentence, casual, you decide.
Why do so many couples, more and more bitter and worse, from close unity to disintegration?
Because there are too many perfunctory answers, no one will be serious anymore.
In fact, two people can be married
At first, it was mostly agreeable
But why some people are getting better and better, and some people are getting more and more speechless, not because time kills love, but because some people are deaf and blind as soon as they get married, and they are perfunctory.
Husband and wife live a life, like playing two people and three feet, if you want to be strong and beautiful for a long time, you must take care of each other.
A good marriage is really not perfect to buy a house and have a child, and spiritual satisfaction is far better than material abundance.
I can send messages, you know how to try to receive, respond positively, come and go, echo, and remember the years.