Flying Dreams EIGHT

Worries and entanglements

The whole day was over, and I didn't see the shadow of the worrier at all. Could it be that she had disappeared in such a strange way! I found that there were suddenly more modern people on the street than in the past, and most of these increased personnel were men, modern handsome men. At the same time, there are also classical handsome men, such as guards like recycling warehouses. What do they seem to be looking for? Everyone is in groups of three or five, batch after batch, this kind of dragnet search, is it said that they are looking for worriers? No, no, no, absolutely not! The worry is not so grand, she just "violated" the recycling regulations, if there is such a regulation. There is such a terrible grand scene, isn't that a big deal! Unless there is a drunken intention that is far better than the revival of the masses.

So, what are they looking for? That seemingly relaxed, careless surface actually has a suffocating solemnity behind it. It's like an undercurrent flowing underneath the horizon. It shouldn't have anything to do with the worrier, maybe it's a random coincidence, right? Yes, I'd rather believe it's a coincidence than to be far-fetched, a kind of self-suggestion, or a kind of self-deception.

The clouds also left me and she said she was going back to recharge, I don't know if it was her excuse, I hope she can come back, I need her help. However, I'm not sure if she'll ever come back. I thought from her point of view, if others let me be wronged, I will also give up helping others, because that kind of help has no benefit to myself, why sacrifice myself to help others? Not to mention that they must also be disrespected by the other party and full of grievances. It's too mentally retarded and too brain-dead to continue that kind of behavior.

I watched the clouds part, and I felt sorry for her in my heart, and I didn't dare to expect her to come back to help me after she was recharged. I tried my best to pretend to be indifferent, but my heart was full of attachment, and I could not let her see that I was full of attachment to her in my heart, and I could not leave her. I try to pretend to be unconcerned and informal.

The clouds didn't even turn their heads back, they walked without any worries, yes, what else do you have to worry about me? I felt like she was, waving her sleeves and not taking away a piece of what she had yesterday. This indifference of hers made me feel a little faint in my heart, but I had no reason to blame her, she left very correctly, even with a little dignity of legitimate defense. I can only blame myself, because everything seems to be something I have not cherished, and I regret it after I have lost it, which can only be a kind of incompetence.

Worrier, where are you? I was alone in the street like a headless fly, my kind of searching was aimless at all, on the street, in the sea of people, so many bustling people, actually ignored my existence, I felt unprecedented loneliness in the sea of people. As if like a depressed person, I really wanted to trade my stupid epilepsy for people's attention. I just want to get the attention of others, even if others are paying attention to me with mocking eyes, I don't care, just attention, even attention without a bottom line.

I don't know how long I've been wandering around the street, I feel tired and exhausted. It was as if an illusion appeared in my head, and I felt that I was sent back to the recycling warehouse again. I seemed to see her hiding in a corner crying, very helpless. It felt like she was expecting me to save her. Remembering that she had tried desperately to save me, I had no reason not to repay her, and I decided that tonight I would have a good rest, tomorrow I would go into the recycling warehouse alone, and I would go alone to save the worrier.

I went back to the hospital alone, lying in bed, my mind racing and I couldn't sleep at all. I feel that the proportion of worry in my heart is a little unusual, and my concern for her seems to be a little extraordinary, do I love her? I was shocked, the idea is so damning, she is a clone! Too different, right? This includes myself, this feeling is too weird! It's like falling in love with an inflatable doll. No, no, no, I can't accept such an unthinkable thing. The most I could repay was her rescue of me, and I couldn't put it into love. That's ridiculous! It's ridiculous.

Time flew by, and I kept thinking about it in this kind of circleless thought, and finally fell asleep in a daze.

When I woke up in the middle of the night, I went to the bathroom in a daze, I paid special attention to the look and feel inside and outside the bathroom, from the outside, I should not be able to see anything inside, but the inside is unobstructed, like the interrogation room of a prison. I was very strange that the clouds had instructed me yesterday as if everything had been seen in her eyes. Her eyes wouldn't be clairvoyants, would they? Otherwise it would be too unthinkable. I just finished something, she knew it immediately, and immediately guided me to the next step, very evil.

I went back to the bedside of the ward, not fully conscious, and estimated that as soon as I fell on the bed, I would fall asleep. I casually unwrapped the quilt and was about to lie down when I found a man lying inside the bed. I said in my heart, who, won't get drunk, why do you have to make a mistake in your hospital bed there? I pushed her with my hand: "Hey, hey, get up, you slept in the wrong place, is this your bed?" ”

The man turned his head, and I stared at her in amazement, worried! She pulled me to the bed and whispered, "Don't make a sound, someone is chasing me." It's coming soon. She covered her body with a quilt and curled up in my arms, and I felt her body temperature, and the ups and downs of her breathing. The feeling she gave me was like the feeling that a real human being gave me, how could it be a robot? Not at all, not reliable.

I gently wrapped one hand around her, however, my hand seemed to be a little rigid, seemed to have lost the function of activity, as if it would not move, in fact, I was afraid that as soon as my hand moved, everything that was originally pure would become ambiguous, and the greatness of integrity would be infected with the virus of obscenity. I am now rigid and rigid, at least in a state of critical purity and ambiguity, greatness and obscenity. You can also reach in all directions, without killing the chess pieces, without stepping into a desperate situation. I felt that I was still a wise man, a wise man between disgust and greatness, a chameleon who changed his color according to his circumstances.

I don't know if it was the reason for the time, I found that I put my arm around her hand or gently shook it, I felt so slight to myself, but I didn't know why it was so sensitive, she gently pinched my waist, and her lightning interaction made me rush with a surge of heart, almost losing the bottom line.

At this time, several people came in at the door of the ward, and when I looked, these people were the guardians of classical beauty, and they asked me, "Did there ever be a person in the ward just now?" "They described it, and I knew they were talking about worry.

I pretended to be sleepy-eyed and said, "What kind of person, there are people there besides you!" You can't find someone to look for during the day, three times in the middle of the night, do you still let people sleep? ”

The classical guys said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm bothered." They gently withdrew.

I still put my arms around her, I hope this time will last forever, I even blame those classical beauty disappeared too quickly, maybe they should be like the guards, always standing next to my bedside, petrified forever...

(To be continued)