Every woman who enters marriage was originally loved, but later tired and disappointed, she chose to settle.
Marriage is originally like a charming landscape, attracting people who love each other to stop and want to have a home. After marriage, in the triviality of chai rice oil and salt, there are more and more contradictions between each other, and if it is not handled well, it will affect the feelings of the husband and wife, and the feelings will enter the burnout period, and it is easy to become strangers under the same roof.
In this case, the most hurt person is the woman, because most middle-aged women choose to be housewives after marriage, pay for the children and the family, take the husband as the focus of their lives, if they become strangers, it means that the woman's world will collapse. But men are different, he has his own career, has his own circle of communication, and does not let feelings affect his life too much. If two people cannot divorce for various reasons, the person who chooses to compromise must have unspeakable pain in his heart.
So, why do some middle-aged women treat their husbands as strangers? The woman's words are heartbreaking.
Ms. Zhou, 43 years old, hates each other and makes up their lives for the sake of face
When people reach middle age, they feel that love is the same as the privilege of youth, not that they do not yearn for love, but they have lived a married life for decades, and they feel that there is only family affection left between husband and wife.
My husband and I have a bad temper and often quarrel when we are in love, but then he will coax me. After marriage, we quarreled again, he did not like to coax, often slammed the door and went away, noisy, we did not quarrel.
But we formed a vicious circle between us, what I said, he immediately hit me, said that I don't understand anything, only know to say something short of home, feel very wronged in my heart. More times, I learned to fight back, and when he hated me again, I also went back and attacked his sore spot. I don't love anymore, otherwise he wouldn't ignore my feelings, and after I was disappointed in the relationship, I just wanted to vent my inner dissatisfaction.
Two people hate each other, he looks at me unpleasantly, I see him talking angry, and for the sake of the children are not willing to divorce, they choose to make a good life.
Marriage allows two people to get along day and night, exposing each other's shortcomings, coupled with the burnout period of feelings, the chance of mutual harm will increase, and smart couples will jointly maintain the relationship.
However, many people are waiting for the other person to make a change first, and those who have such thoughts will only be disappointed, because no one is a roundworm in the other stomach.
When the contradiction accumulates more and more, the relationship between each other is also worse, when the woman feels that she has been wronged, and the man cannot give her the love she wants, and if she dislikes her, after being disappointed, she will treat the man as a stranger, because there is no one, forcing herself to get used to the days without him.
Husbands and wives who dislike each other are together, like warriors with different positions on the battlefield, they begin to fight when they meet, and they attack each other's most painful places, not enemies, but there is no resentment in their hearts, there is no love, only disgust and numbness are left, and they live together for the common face or interests.
Ms. Wang, 40 years old, my husband treated me as an outsider, and I treated him as a stranger
I met my husband on a blind date, and after two years of sweet days after marriage, it seems that maybe I was too stupid to think that my life was not bad at that time.
After marriage, the money I earned was handed over to him, and when I used the money, I looked for him to take it, and I didn't think there was anything wrong with it, but I thought that husband and wife were one, and whoever took the money was the same.
We bought a house, and the pressure to pay off the mortgage every month was great, so I had my son and rested for a year, and the rest of the time I went to work to make money. Maybe Heaven made a joke on me, I was tired to get sick, when lying in bed for two months, my husband's attitude towards me changed, he no longer cared about me, and often told outsiders that he was unlucky, and the woman he married could not help him, but also dragged him down.
He started avoiding me and then said directly to my face and said to others, I was sad because I was sick only temporarily, and he was so cold.
When I was back to work, he thought of asking me to pay him money, and since I was sick once, I understood that he did not treat me as a wife, and I was unwilling to pay him again.
For this reason, he said that I had changed, disobeyed, and did not really want to live with him.
My heart had long been cold when I was sick, and after listening to what he said, I just thought it was funny, selfish people really never thought about their own reasons, and would only blame others for being bad. I didn't want to explain it to him anymore, I just wanted to prepare to leave him early.
Husbands and wives are difficult to share and blessed, but in reality, many couples are like forest birds, flying separately when the big trouble is imminent, selfishly hurting each other's hearts, it is difficult to cover the heat again.
When a woman realizes that she is treated as an outsider by her husband, she will see the reality clearly, and then prepare for her own way back, do not take her husband seriously, and only focus on herself, such a marriage is on the verge of rupture and will fall apart at any time.
Ms. Xu, 46 years old, he has someone out there, this age I don't want a divorce
Husband and wife are really suffering and difficult, the same rich and noble, when they were poor, he was not bad for me, since his daughter went to high school, he often went to other places for business, and came back once a month.
Out of the woman's intuition, I felt that he had another woman outside, asked him, and he instead got angry at me, saying that I didn't want to live a good life and get divorced if I couldn't get by.
I've been a stay-at-home wife since I got married, never thought about divorce, and after his threats, I stopped talking about it.
But the woman was not at ease, called me, asked me to divorce, said that her husband did not love me, and bought her a house, so angry that I cried for a few days, and afterwards still chose to be patient.
I didn't want everything I had paid to be robbed, and after inquiring about it, I consulted a professional person and knew that the house would not come back and could not prove that it was the money he gave.
After that, I used him as a cash machine to do what I wanted to do, just to live my own life first and stop caring about his business.
In marriage, the most sad thing is undoubtedly the betrayal of the lover. When a man has an external heart, the blow to the woman is fatal, but if the woman chooses not to divorce because of her own reasons, she will no longer believe in the man in her heart, and she will not easily forgive the person who hurt her.
Once there is a thorn in the heart, it will remind the woman from time to time that the man in front of her has hurt herself, and the more hatred and resentment against the man, the more bitter the person is still himself.
Such marriages exist in name only, there is no trust between each other, no love, no communication and exchange, no understanding, only mutual dislike, mutual vigilance, mutual harm, more and more unwilling to contact, become strangers.
There is a saying in the Japanese drama "The Most Perfect Divorce" that getting together does not mean that they are husband and wife, and husband and wife are not equal to family.
When the husband and wife have a psychological barrier because of some things, an invisible wall is built between each other, the misunderstanding will become deeper and deeper, the disappointment will be more and more, and the relationship between husband and wife will be in jeopardy.
If you choose to settle, then go to solve the problem, but if there is no need to continue, divorce or early, do not be shackled to each other, the loss is more, but also bitter themselves.
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