On October 13, in Meishan, Sichuan Province, 37-year-old Xie Ying stood on the Second Bridge of the Minjiang River, looking at the misty river.
On that rainy night 17 days ago, the police and witnesses told him that his daughter Honghong, who was 2 months old and 16 years old and was a sophomore in high school, jumped from here into minjiang and disappeared from here.
After their daughter disappeared, Xie Ying and his ex-wife searched along the embankment of the Min River every day, hoping to find something from the hundreds of meters wide river. In the past, as Didi car drivers and sanitation workers, they were all running for their livelihoods, and they never had so much time to "accompany" their daughters.
In the eyes of parents and teachers, Honghong grew up sunny and well-behaved, even if she was diagnosed with depression in September, but there was no abnormal behavior before jumping into the river, which made Xie Ying and others full of doubts: How did she suffer from depression? Why did she jump into the river? Did she really jump into the river?
However, in the five suicide notes written by Honghong to his grandparents, parents, and sisters, in addition to writing that "I have committed suicide by throwing myself into the river, in the Minjiang River, sleeping at the bottom of the river, and sleeping in the Minjiang River", Honghong has also written such words many times: "so tired", "disappointed", "can't stand up", "Can't hold on", "Without me, I am not so tired, disappointment is from junior high school to stand up a little bit... Can't shine the lintel, sorry..."
In the suicide note to her father, she wrote: "Dad, I am really a drag, right, I can't do anything, I don't want to do anything, Dad, you look at the light of the world for me, Dad is sorry, I took a step first, Dad doesn't have to look for me, I belong to the river and sleep in minjiang." ”
This made Xie Ying stay up all night after reading it.
The Red Star News reporter learned that after the incident, the relevant local departments immediately organized a search, rescue and salvage. But as of October 14, Honghong has been missing for 18 days and is still missing...
Honghong's father, Xie Ying, stood at the Second Bridge of the Minjiang River and looked out over the distance
Jumping river:
Before jumping into the river, the girl had a conversation with witnesses by the river
The father found the suicide note left to him by his daughter
Xie Ying was originally from Yunnan, and later started a family in Meishan, originally living in the countryside. Last year, after he divorced his wife, the younger daughter lived with his ex-wife, and the eldest daughter Honghong lived with him. In order to facilitate Honghong's study, Xie Ying rented a house in Meishan City, and when her eldest daughter studied, Xie Ying made money by running Didi cars.
At more than 1:00 a.m. on September 27, Didi car driver Xie Ying was ready to finish this order and take the car home, at this time, he received a call from the police, and the police repeatedly asked him to verify where his daughter Honghong was on the phone. An ominous premonition welled up in her mind, and Xie Ying hurried back to the rental house near the school where her daughter was studying.
After Xie Ying returned to the rental house, she found that Honghong was not in the house, but the mobile phone was there. In Honghong's notebook, Xie Ying found the suicide note left to him by her daughter, and at the beginning of the suicide note, the daughter wrote: "Daddy, when you see this, I have already committed suicide by throwing myself into the river..."
Xie Ying couldn't believe that more than 5 hours ago, her daughter, who had been on the phone with herself and had nothing unusual, could make such a move. On the afternoon of September 26, my daughter, who was going to school for evening self-study, said on the phone that she was unwell and asked him to ask the class teacher for leave on his behalf.
Xie Ying said that before the Mid-Autumn Festival, she had taken Honghong to the hospital for examination, and she was diagnosed with depression by the hospital. Considering that her daughter was ill, Xie Ying asked the class teacher for the day's leave, let her daughter rest in the rental room, and she continued to run Didi Car outside.
At more than 7 p.m. on September 26, Xie Ying and Honghong had one last call, and on the phone, Xie Ying repeatedly asked Honghong if he wanted to eat, but Honghong said that he was full of food, was washing, and was ready to take a break.
On the phone, Honghong's tone was normal, and at the end, she also told her father to eat well. After hanging up the phone, Xie Ying continued to run orders until the police station called.
Inside the police station, a self-proclaimed witness told Xie Ying that at about 9 p.m., when she was watching others fishing on the bridge, the girl who called herself Honghong calmly said that she was waiting for friends here and chatted with her intermittently for an hour or two.
Xie Ying told the Red Star News reporter that witnesses said that they later turned around from the other side of the Minjiang Second Bridge to prepare to go home, and when they arrived at the location where they were chatting with the girl, the girl disappeared, leaving only an umbrella that the girl began to hold. At that time, he stopped to check and found that the girl may have jumped off the Min River and drifted with the river, so he called the police.
They didn't talk about anything special either, and it took only a few minutes before and after the witnessing the man to leave. The man said that it was estimated that he had just left, and the girl jumped into the Min River. Xie Ying said that when she and her family rushed to the Second Bridge of the Minjiang River again, only the billowing water was left.
Subsequently, the relevant departments organized search and rescue and salvage. Sadly, nothing was found...
Honghong's parents were full of doubts about his jumping into the river
Family members are puzzled:
Girls suffer from depression or have a family relationship
Usually well-behaved and sensible, the heart is delicate
Xie Ying has many questions, why does her daughter suffer from depression? Why did she jump into the river? Where exactly?
Xie Ying analyzed that Honghong's depression or from junior high school, the second year of junior high school, Honghong was more rebellious in adolescence, when his wife went to find a cleaning job, perhaps the daughter thought that her mother's job made her lose face.
Honghong's mother, Huang Qin, still lives in the countryside and is responsible for health in a certain unit, and she also learned about her daughter's diagnosis of depression before the Mid-Autumn Festival this year, and her understanding of depression is only heard on TV. Why does my daughter get depression, what are the symptoms of depression, and how to treat it? Most of the time, she could only shake her head blankly.
Huang Qin also did not know why her daughter Honghong had come to this step. In her impression, Honghong has always been well-behaved and sensible. "When I get home, I have to help take care of my sister."
Well-behaved and sensible, it is also Xie Ying's impression of her daughter. He remembers that on his birthday in April this year, his daughter also sent himself red envelopes. "I also laughed at her, saying that I gave you all your money, and you sent me red envelopes."
In the visit of the Red Star News reporter, the teachers in Honghong's class and others all regretted that the personality she showed in the school was sunny and kind, and the relationship with her classmates was also good.
However, according to the analysis of many teachers and students, Honghong has come to this step, perhaps related to the family. "She may feel that she is dragging down the family, once her father came to the school to help her get things, she looked at his father's back very sadly, and also wrote some text, a bit like Zhu Ziqing's father's back feeling." 」
This is also reflected in Honghong's suicide note to his father.
"Now it seems that being well-behaved and sunny is just an impression she shows to the outside world." Xie Ying said, "My daughter's heart is very delicate, judging from the five suicide notes she left behind, she seems to have endured her inner suffering for a long time, and she has long been unable to persist, but we didn't know that she had depression before." ”
Honghong's father, Xie Ying, looked through Honghong's belongings under the tree in his hometown
Five suicide notes:
Honghong said that he was a burden and did not want to drag down his family
Tell your father that "I have been buried in minjiang"
Just like many parents think they know their children, but they don't. What Xie Ying didn't know was not just about depression.
Previously, Xie Ying had said that she divorced her wife last year, she took her eldest daughter, and her younger daughter followed her ex-wife, and her family did not know. However, in the suicide note left by Honghong, it is clear that Honghong knows that his parents have divorced.
In the suicide note, Honghong wrote to Xie Ying and Huang Qin: Dad, I hope you and that aunt are well... Mom, be nice to your grandfather, find a stepfather or something like that in the future (for me), just be happy...
These five suicide notes were found by Xie Ying when he sorted out his belongings after Honghong's disappearance, and were written to Xie Ying, Huang Qin, Honghong's grandparents and sister respectively.
The Red Star News reporter saw that in the five suicide notes left by Honghong, the ones given to his grandparents were less than 100 words, and those given to his sister and mother were also more conventional.
A suicide note from Honghong to his mother
Honghong's suicide note to his sister, grandfather, and grandmother
But for Xie Ying's suicide note, she wrote two pages, these words, self-blame, inferiority and haggard, and the previous grandeur in the minds of everyone is far from the grandeur -
"Dad, by the time you see this, I should have committed suicide by throwing myself into the river." Dad don't blame anyone, it's my problem, don't be sad, the daughter went to another world, this world is too painful. There are endless nightmares, fantasies, stress. I'm a burden, without me, you should be able to relax a lot, I hope you and the aunt are well, shhh, I'm just asleep. ”
No one bullied me, it was I who couldn't stand it myself, don't make trouble, there was no result, maybe disappointed from junior high school to stand up a little bit... I can't shine the lintel, I'm sorry.
Just want to end, just boiling, everything is very painful, no one can really feel, everyone thinks I am very happy, I don't blame others, why do people understand? Personally there is sadness, but I can't hold on any longer. ”
You give me the final luggage, ricket, the most sorry thing in my life is you, sorry, sorry, Daddy will give you a cow in the next life, and be a horse will definitely repay, but this really can't support me to live, let this future care sleep at the bottom of the river..."
……
A suicide note from Honghong to his father
Dad, I'm really a drag, right, can't do anything, don't want to do anything, Dad you look at the light of the world for me, Dad is sorry, I took a step first, Dad doesn't have to look for me, I belong to the river and sleep in minjiang.
No one really cares about me, only my father, but I can't drag my father down his life because I don't let my father be sad for a while, and I can't repay him when I live, so I will sleep peacefully today
……”
After tearfully reading these words, Xie Ying did not sleep all night, he said, maybe this is the real daughter after the illness.
Honghong's father Xie Ying issued a notice to find someone
Latest Developments:
Daughter Honghong has not yet been found Is it really jumping into the river?
The police preliminarily judged that it was a suicide, and there was almost no chance of survival
In the days when his daughter was missing, 37-year-old Xie Ying stopped his work and searched along the river every day, and when he was at its farthest, he walked dozens of kilometers downstream from the Minjiang Second Bridge where his daughter jumped, but still found nothing.
Today, his ex-wife has returned to work, but he has not given up.
"Unless you see your daughter's body!" Xie Ying said that she also sent a search notice to the outside world, but so far, there is no news.
In the search notice, Xie Ying wrote: "Honghong, Funiu Town, Dongpo District, Meishan City, sixteen years old, according to witnesses, fell into the water at about 12:00 p.m. on September 26 at the Minjiang Second Bridge, painstakingly searched for it so far, and wore a black sweatshirt, jeans, and white flat shoes when he fled. ”
If Honghong is not found for a day, the doubts cannot be eliminated. Xie Ying said that after the incident, her daughter's ID card and diagnosis of depression were not found.
Some people in the village rumored that Honghong would not deliberately create such an illusion of jumping into the river, and then quietly went to the field.
After reading the "suicide note" left by his daughter, Xie Ying hoped that this rumor was true, and he hoped that only her daughter would go to other places with her ID card and depression diagnosis certificate in order not to let herself be affected.
However, the family's money has not decreased, how can the daughter have the financial ability to stay in the field for such a long time? These troubles were all in Xie Ying's mind, waiting for the answer.
Xie Ying also looked over Honghong's WeChat and QQ, but Honghong deleted the previous WeChat content, and no valuable information was found on QQ.
Red Star News reporters learned from the Meishan police that after receiving the police on the same day, the police and fire departments immediately organized a search, but due to the rapid turbulence of the river and the openness of the river, no one was found.
A police source revealed that from the eyewitnesses calling the police and the suicide note left by Honghong and other signs, Honghong should have committed suicide by throwing himself into the river, according to the comprehensive analysis of the water level and water temperature of the Minjiang River, once Honghong jumped into the river, there was almost no possibility of survival.
In the hope of day by day, the white hair on Xie Ying's head grew at a speed visible to the naked eye, and if he had changed to before, he would have dyed it.
Now, without his daughter, he can't take care of this.
Honghong's father, Xie Ying, had white hair
Experts say
Many parents have misconceptions about teen depression
More accompaniment, early detection, and early treatment should be provided
October 10 is the 30th World Mental Health Day, and this year's theme is "The Psychology of Youth, Youth youth", calling on all sectors of society to pay attention to the mental health of adolescents.
Red Star News has reported that the Institute of Psychology of the Chinese Academy of Sciences released the 2020 edition of the "Blue Book of Mental Health" - "China's National Mental Health Development Report (2019-2020)" shows that last year, the detection rate of depression in China's adolescents was 24.6%, that is, almost 1 in 5 adolescents suffered from depression. Among them, the proportion of girls with depressive tendencies was 18.9%, 3.1 percentage points higher than that of boys, and the proportion of major depression was 9%, 3.2 percentage points higher than that of boys.
Kang Zhao, head of the Mental Health Education Research Center of China West Normal University and a professor of psychology, analyzed after understanding Honghong's situation that Honghong's situation is not easy to be detected "smiling depression", that is, talking and laughing in daily life, making it difficult for people to associate her with depression, but her heart actually does not feel happy, and she is loveless or even pessimistic and world-weary.
"Judging from the information learned, on the one hand, Honghong wants to be a good child in front of his family and teachers, on the other hand, some of his ideas are not met, and his hopes cannot be realized, as if he has put on a mask, and the strong self-esteem needs in his heart are closely related to his inferiority complex." Kang Zhao introduced that many adolescent depression patients encounter things on self-denial, lack of self-confidence, too much from a negative, pessimistic point of view to look at and consider the problem, closed themselves, lack of communication with family, relatives and friends and teachers and students, serious may lead to the choice of suicide.
Of course, in addition to the above factors, Honghong's behavior may also have her high expectations for herself, extreme self-esteem needs lead to inferiority psychology can not be timely catharsis, parents found late, less companionship or insufficient understanding and other aspects of the comprehensive reasons, over time, suffering from depression Honghong lost the idea of life.
Kang Zhao introduced that the psychological problems currently manifested by adolescents include anxiety, terror, compulsion, closure, depression and other forms, and depression is one of the most prominent problems. Many parents have insufficient understanding of adolescent depression, and even misunderstand, sometimes think of depression as adolescent emotional fluctuations, temperament or relative introversion, etc. Adolescent depression is not a simple mood swing and correction, nor is it a normal mood, not to say that it is scattered, and it can be good if you want to open a little.
Kang Zhao said that depression is not a simple physiological response, but an emotional disorder that disrupts normal life. There are many causes of adolescent depression, some of which will be overly interpreted and sensitive to learning, interpersonal relationships, etc., and some will be affected by the family, parental expectations, etc. Anxiety, compulsion, neurasthenia and other mental illnesses, any mental and psychological diseases need early recognition, early detection, early treatment.
Professor Kang Zhao suggested that in addition to active treatment, the way parents get along with their children is also very important, for adolescents suffering from depression, parents need to pay more attention to the details of life, give them more support and companionship, provide positive psychological assistance, help them find new emotional outlets, and correctly handle various interpersonal relationships.
Professor Kang Zhao reminded that with the rapid development of the current social economy, people's pace of life has accelerated, survival pressure has surged, depression has become a more common mental illness, and even a trend of rejuvenation has emerged. Many teenagers are hindered by the idea of face, unwilling to admit that they are sick, embarrassed to go to the hospital, hope that patients do not care too much about other people's opinions, brave help is very important for depressed patients, usually pay attention to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables, while avoiding overwork or staying up late and so on. Of course, it is equally important to understand and care for depressed patients, and I hope that all sectors of society can face up to the problem of depression and actively take action to help depressed patients get out of the haze as soon as possible and return to a happy and beautiful normal life. (Honghong is a pseudonym in the text)
Red Star News reporter Jiang Lin photo report
Edited by Wang He
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