The day before yesterday, the throat suddenly ached and ached, the speech hurt, the throat hurt; then the whole mouth was uncomfortable, and there was a feeling of being clamped; then there was the soreness of the body, from the bones to the flesh, everywhere was uncomfortable. I felt that I had a cold, ate lotus flowers and drank a lot of water. As soon as it got dark, he lay down, and as soon as his son saw that there was no one in the living room with him, he ran to the bed to talk to me, and there was no sound when he said it, and when I got up to see him again, I found that I had taken off my clothes, covered the quilt, and fell asleep on my own small bed. Touching his little face, I felt that I was too careless to go, I was unwell, and I didn't bathe the child.
When I woke up at four o'clock in the morning, I suddenly felt that the right side of my neck was very uncomfortable, I reached out and touched it, and I felt that there was a bulge under the knife scar after the operation, and it didn't hurt to touch, but it was not small. Suddenly drowsiness. I had thyroid cancer surgery in August 2017, and although the doctor repeatedly stressed that this cancer was not another cancer and would not be life-threatening, I was still a little worried because I knew that some lymph had been violated at that time. At that time, the daughter was thirteen years old, the son was two years old, and the parents were nearly old. That fear of death is particularly strong, because by the time people reach middle age, they don't just live for themselves. The people who gave birth to me have not yet had time to raise them to old age; the people I gave birth to, I have not yet been able to raise. Therefore, over the years, try to make yourself a little more Buddhist: what cannot be argued, what does not need to be grabbed, what is not grabbed. Take good care of the people who gave birth to me, and accompany me to the baby. Today, however, I was once again afraid. I am afraid that the pain will come again, I am afraid that the person who gave birth to me will once again be concerned, and the person I gave birth to will once again be lonely and lonely. So I went to the hospital early in the morning, checked, and filmed. The doctor said: No big problem, it should be caused by inflammation of the throat, infusion to reduce inflammation faster, but also to relieve your tension (he saw my worries).
In the infusion room, there are many people. I just wanted to lean quietly back in my chair, and I wanted to live well for all I had for the rest of my life, for the most important thing in my life.
