Thirty-six-year-old Awang looked at the beer bottle in front of him, he reached out and shook it, and when he made sure that there was nothing in it that he could drink, he sighed and gently placed the bottle behind him.
At one o'clock in the morning, the barbecue stalls on the street, alone, drinking alcohol, Awang, a nearly middle-aged man, has become a lingering humanistic shadow of the city.
They are like the graffiti of the city, there will always be people who try to completely erase their confusion and pain, but it is their existence that makes the cruelty of this world more of a dramatic reality.
Awang had a dog named Awang.
Awang liked the name at first, but when he was in a bad mood, he would involuntarily call Awang a dog.
Sometimes when he looked at this little teddy who was less than two years old, tilting his head curiously and looking at himself, in a trance he seemed to see his former self.
Once, he was also looking at the world curiously, he couldn't understand the complexity of the world, nor could he understand the malice of the world, in that era, his eyes were only curious.
However, this curiosity did not last long.
A year after Ngawang graduated, he changed three jobs in succession, some people said that Ngawang was so ambitious and could not adapt to the cruelty of society, and what they did not know was that Ngawang's three jobs were forced to choose to leave.
In the first job, the boss was in arrears of wages in disguise, and he could not even pay the rent in the end.
The second job, ostracized by a small group within the company, maliciously smeared Awang's ability to work, and eventually led to a drop in salary, and finally the meal could not be eaten.
The third job, hard work for three months, Awang did not fall, the company was not well managed, first fell.
One year after graduation, three failed job search experiences made Ngawang understand a truth:
Life will not tell you any truth.
And this year, Ngawang has suddenly matured and vicissitudes.
Awang did not know whether he really couldn't do it, or whether this society could not tolerate such a mediocre person as him, he found that no matter how hard he tried, he seemed to find no way out.
But he did not give up on life, which was not a great insistence, but a humble indifference.
Awang gradually found that he had become worldly, he no longer resented those who slapped the boss in the ass, nor did he feel that hypocrisy was a disgusting performance, he began to learn to integrate into the circles he hated, just to leave a place in the workplace, he began to learn to observe the color, this once very humble way of life in his eyes, but now the guarantee of life.
He knew what he had done wrong, but what if he was wrong in order to live?
Or, in other words, what is right or wrong about such a humble life?
Ngawang was in despair, but he was not miserable, because he found that this was the way life was, but he did not realize it.
In this way, Ngawang was awake and confused, and it had been five years since he graduated.
In the past five years, he has lived a very full life, and he has not wasted a minute and a second to adapt to the world that once disgusted him.
He didn't win or lose, he was just alive.
Ngawang bought a teddy named Awang, and Awang looked at Awang, one person and one dog, one spring and one autumn.
Ngawang has counted how many nights he has dragged his tired body back to the dormitory, he opened the door, and he saw Awang crouching on the ground to greet him, Awang made dinner for Awang, Awang sat in front of the rice bowl, he waited for him to eat together, one person and one dog, a dim lamp, swaying these two lonely souls.
Suddenly, one day, Ngawang learned from Awang and spat out his tongue at Awang, at this time he found that he lived like a dog, but what is wrong with living like a dog?
Awang said that he was not desperate, he just let go of his stubbornness and put away his dignity, for himself, for Ngawang,
Make a little more money.