"Hi I'm Xixi, a freelancer who lives in the world by writing, and a new player of unlimited games~"
"Read a book a hundred times and see its own meaning, and write a hundred articles like a god."
If ordinary people want to learn to write well, they can start with prose to lay the foundation.
If you want to learn prose well, you can start by disassembling and imitating it.
In the last issue, I dismantled the food essay with you, and received a lot of positive feedback, I am very happy, and I am determined to continue to do this small column of dismantling prose.
Let's go.
1) Look at the title
At a glance, you can see that the protagonist of the article is my grandmother, and the five words "can't get out" and "gaze" are enough to make the title full of pictures and poetry.
Other good essay titles for writers are:
Ding Limei's "Mother's Love, Stepping on the Clouds"
Xiao Yao's "Relatives Stuck in Time"
Dong Correct's "Ashes Burned by Moonlight"
Zhang Songwen's "The Man Who Lights the Lamp in My Heart"
Yang Hui's "The First Man to Tell You About Snow"
2) Ignore the content and spend 10-15 minutes writing your own outline according to the title
Here is my draft, just for reference:
(1) Last year, my grandmother's ashes were officially buried. Just like on the day of the cremation 5 years ago, this time to bid farewell to my grandmother, another butterfly appeared. has been flying around us, and after so many years, we still can't get out of her gaze.
(2) Because my mother married far away from the countryside, I had the opportunity to go to my grandmother through the birthday banquet after graduating from primary school. We went out every day, no one brought the key when we went out, and when we were a few dozen meters away from home, my cousin pointed to the window on the fifth floor and said, "Oh, my mother is there." When we go out, she keeps watching. When she gets home, she watches too. When she gets up the stairs, she'll open the door. ”
(3) As a left-behind child, I can't say how envious I am. During the ten days I spent at my grandmother's house, I often saw that the street lights were still on, and my grandmother stood by the window alone, watching my uncle who got up early to open the shop and my aunt who was rushing to work early. When the sky was bright, I saw my cousins and cousins who were walking to cram school. In the end, we little kids who went out to play crazy. Everyone is used to it.
(4) So, after I returned to my hometown, I studied hard and finally got admitted to my grandmother. I am very happy that I have become a part of my grandmother's gaze. Catch the bus to school before dawn, and go home the next night for self-study, even if the future is dark in the cold winter, I am no longer afraid, because I have the warm gaze that I can see when I look up.
(5) My grandmother's eyes shone on me for seven years. The last time, I dragged my suitcase to the field for an internship, and she sat by the window in a wheelchair, trying to watch me. But no matter how many times I turned around, I couldn't see her, and naturally I knew that no matter how hard she tried to stretch her neck, she wouldn't be able to see me.
(6) Not long after, one ordinary morning, my eyelids were beating wildly and my heart was tingling. turned on the phone, and the news of my grandmother's death jumped out instantly. I rushed back to attend the funeral, day and night upside down, looking at my relatives with red and swollen eyes, and thinking, Grandma, you have seen us for so many years, this time we will see you. Wiping away tears, we looked up and saw a beautiful butterfly flying over our heads, turning and turning, unable to drive away, and accompanying us until the end. It turns out that even if the lights go out, we still can't get out of my grandmother's gaze.
Sorry, the outline is too much.
Writing this kind of content, it is normal to be in love and not be able to stop the car.
Emotionally, if it weren't for the sake of controlling the length, I might have finished the first draft in one sitting.
In the future, I will add some descriptions of my grandmother's appearance, movements, demeanor or language, etc., improve the details of the matter, and get the materials arranged in detail, so that you can complete a family essay.
3) After reading the article three times, disassemble the outline of the article
The first time, purely as a reader, read it at the pace of daily reading;
The second time, use a short paragraph to summarize the content of the article;
The third time, use one sentence to summarize the meaning of the paragraph. Clarify the paragraph layout of the article.
Now, let's briefly disassemble Yang Liguang's "Can't Get Out of Grandma's Gaze":
The author takes my grandmother's visit to Shenzhen as a clue, and uses the expressions of interludes, flashbacks and narratives to leave my grandmother's warm memories of taking care of me over the years, and I will take care of her when I grow up.
(1) Paragraphs 1~5 briefly describe my grandmother's eyes on me, and my grandmother's memories of taking care of us when we were young
(2) Paragraphs 6~12 write in detail about the details and experiences of taking care of my grandmother such as holding my grandmother and washing my grandmother's feet
(3) Paragraphs 13-20 briefly describe that my grandmother is getting sicker and sicker, and I only remember my old age
4) Dismantling to the specific
The emotional tone of the whole text is relatively heavy.
Grandma's life is miserable, and the author feels sorry for this elder who loves him the most from beginning to end.
Moreover, in the limited time, he dutifully completed the feedback to his grandmother, so he did not have much regret and guilt.
A touch of nostalgia, a lifetime of dampness. This is a common emotional background in family essays.
The author writes about the widowhood of the grandmother, but the children who have raised many children; never complained, only secretly cried at night to relieve depression; Trapped at home by legs and feet, watching his children and grandchildren go away, etc., complete a portrayal of a great image of rolling in suffering, but always strong and brave, and loving his juniors.
In this land, this kind of character is arguably the most often celebrated. After suffering a lot, I still choose to burn myself and illuminate others.
Most of the whole text is from the perspective of a bystander, describing the suffering of my grandmother.
There are not many descriptions of appearance, demeanor, movements, and psychology.
The appearance description focuses on the grandmother's three-inch golden lotus, highlighting that the grandmother is weak but extremely strong.
The rare language description highlights the weight of "me" in my grandmother's mind, and no one can recognize me, but I can clearly say my name.
Small but precise.
Plain and simple, they are all very simple words and sentences.
The real gold is the gratitude and longing for my grandmother hidden between the lines.
The rest, such as rhetorical devices, excerpts from golden sentences, long and short sentence arrangement, etc., are not too eye-catching in this prose, so I will not repeat them one by one.
Because not every essay needs to be exhaustive. Each has its own strengths, and when you meet the right school.
5) Dismantling operations
Here are more than a dozen classic essays to make it easier for you to practice.
Spend a week scanning through them and picking out your top 5 favorites.
Tear down an essay every day, and after 5 days, identify a character you want to write about, and spend a day independently completing a writing essay.
I wish you all a smoother and smoother writing, and use writing to keep time.
01. Mo Yan "Mother"
02. Lu Yan "Mother's Clock"
03. Hu Shi "My Mother"
04. Lao She "My Mother"
05. Ji Xianlin "My Wife"
06. Wang Zengqi "My Grandfather and Grandmother"
07. Shi Tiesheng "Old Begonia Tree"
08. Shi Tiesheng "Grandma's Star"
09. Xiao Fuxing "Qingming Remembering Father"
10. Lu Xun "Father's Illness"
11. Zhu Ziqing "Back"
12. Wang Zengqi "Idle City Idler"
Well, that's all for what Xixi wants to share with you today. If the content is helpful, please don't forget to give me a thumbs up. Your support is the driving force for me to continue to create~ Bixin [heart]
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the end
About the Author [Breeze]
I'm Cai Xixi, a post-95s freelance writer
Self-taught writing for 5 years, cashing in 6 figures
The whole network is a newcomer to the self-media who joins hands with 3W readers
A pen name is a combination of two girls' names that you like
One is a guide for my writing
One is the air navigator of my life
May we all become the adults we like