Text/Flying Fish
Yang Lan said: "The strongest bond in marriage is not children, not money, but spiritual growth. ”
If you want a long and happy marriage, then before getting married, you must want to communicate with each other about some questions, and understand each other's personality, needs and bottom line before making a prudent decision.
Marriage cannot be chosen impulsively, but needs to be understood, two people can affirm each other from the heart, decide that the two can live together, can face the problems of life together, and can accept each other, then make the decision to get married.
Marriage requires a like-minded partner to go through the next few decades of life together.
If you have a daughter, no matter who you marry in the future, tell her that before you get married, you must exchange these four questions with the other person, this is a vision.
One
How the parents are and whether they are reasonable.
Before getting married, communicate with each other, ask each other's parents what kind of people they are, what their personality is, ask yourself clearly, know the other party's parents, then when you get along with each other's parents, you can also have a way to deal with it.
Or you can see the personality of the other party's parents before you get married, so as to be psychologically prepared, or you can't stand the character of the other party's parents and want to live outside by yourself and not live with the other party's parents, then you can understand clearly in advance and find a way to solve the conflict after marriage.
When two people get married, it is impossible to completely avoid each other's parents, and they always have to get along with each other's parents, and if they know the character of each other's parents in advance, then when they meet their parents, they can also be ready to get along with them, so as to achieve a harmonious state.
Two
Who will be in charge of the money after marriage?
Before getting married, discuss the issue of money with the other party, if the other party is willing to keep the income for you and let you run the family, then you should also think clearly before agreeing, because managing money is not an easy thing, only by thinking about it clearly, can you achieve a comfortable state.
If the other party says that two people want to manage the money together, their own wages will be taken by themselves, and then when the family needs money, they need to discuss and pay together, and no one can calculate whom, because husband and wife are a community of destiny, and if they can't do it, then it is difficult to become husband and wife.
Between husband and wife, when they need to use a lot of money, whether they borrow money or spend money, they should tell each other that they can't make their own decisions, so as to be conducive to family harmony and love between husband and wife.
Before two people get married, they should calmly communicate about the problem of money, if they encounter buying a house, loans, investments, etc., the two of them discuss together, so that they will not lose themselves, and they will not quarrel because of money.
Three
When a conflict arises, what is the best way to solve it?
When two people are together, they are really married, and it is inevitable that there will be some contradictions, no matter how good the relationship is, when facing the chicken feathers of life and the various variables of life, there will definitely be disagreements and contradictions.
It's not terrible to have a conflict, it's scary to have two people face it in a bad way, which is easy to hurt feelings.
On the contrary, he had already said to the other party before getting married, if there was a quarrel, he couldn't let the conflict go through 24 hours, he couldn't have a long-term cold war, he couldn't get angry anymore, he couldn't drop things, and he couldn't do anything. Two people take a step back from each other and step down to each other, so that big things can be turned into small things, and sincere communication can make life better.
Four
What is the bottom line on both sides.
Before getting married, you should communicate carefully with each other, and both people should talk about some topics in depth in order to understand each other thoroughly.
You can ask what the other party's bottom line is, so that when you are doing things and dealing with things, you will take into account the other party's bottom line and not touch the other party's bottom line, so that the relationship between the two people is fine.
If you don't know where the other party's bottom line is, you always do things without measure, you won't think about the other party, and you hurt the other party, then it is easy to lose trust and easily lead to the breakdown of the relationship.
Therefore, please tell your daughter that before getting married, you must exchange the above four questions with the other party, not scheming, but foresight.
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