This article is from the WeChat public account: Zhiqu classmates, author: Liu Zhiqu, the title picture comes from: AI generation
The emotional scandal of a public figure was revealed on the last day of the National Day holiday.
The two have been in love for 6 years, and the 27-year-old fiancée is not ordinary rich, she pays for the luxury goods of the man's whole body, a watch is worth millions, and she once presented him with awards as a sponsor, and also helped to operate and maintain fans for a long time, which can be described as both money and effort.
But the man is often out of line in terms of feelings, and she has dissuaded and forgiven many times. Even during pregnancy, it can't stop the other party from continuing to make mistakes and not changing repeatedly. And when his fiancée proposed to break up, the man threatened him with an intimate video, trying to lose face. Frustrated, the woman chose to completely make the unbearable of this relationship public.
Frankly, the emotional pull between men and women, it is difficult for onlookers to clearly judge who is right and who is wrong
It's just embarrassing, such a big heroine who can call the wind and rain herself, but she still can't escape the pain of love.
can be the queen herself, but she racked her brains to assist the other party to be the king. This is also very reminiscent of the husband and wife relationship and family history of many bigwigs such as Liu Luanxiong and Bao Yongqin, Li Ka-shing and Zhuang Yueming, Stanley Ho and Lai Wanhua.
It's really hard to stay sane in love. Before talking, the world is sober; After talking, you are my destiny.
But compared to girls from poor families who have to automatically put economic value in the first place to consider love in order to solve the problem of survival, girls from rich families can have more freedom in the face of love
As Mr. Lao She wrote in "Camel Xiangzi":
Whether to love or not to love the poor has to be decided in money, and the "love seed" is only born in a rich family, and peonies cannot be cultivated in the desert.
is just a smart and rich rich girl, because of her lack of understanding of society, it is even more difficult to escape the fatal blow of love. Once they lose, they often pay a greater price, not only for themselves, but also for their parents' resources
Socio-cultural discipline
The term "husband and child" interprets the expectations of traditional Chinese society for the role of women in the family.
This idea of concentrating the role of women within the family has its roots in the Confucian culture that we have been exposed to since childhood. There is a saying in the "Rite Notes: · Inner Rules" that "men do not speak inside, women do not speak outside", which means that women should not participate in affairs outside the family.
Historically, women have been educated to better fulfill such roles. For example, women in the scholar society not only studied Confucian etiquette, but also studied classics and history, all in order to better educate their children.
In ancient times, there were too many stories that praised the wisdom and virtue of "virtuous helpers". Empress Changsun and Empress Ma advised the emperor to protect Zhongliang and stabilize the political situation; During the Warring States Period, the wife of Yan Ying, the prime minister of Qi State, relied on her extraordinary wisdom to advise her husband to be modest and cautious, and finally made her husband get promoted by Yan Ying; There is also Le Yangzi in the Eastern Han Dynasty, who picked up a piece of gold on the road, and his wife told him that "the people with lofty ideals do not drink the water of the stolen spring, and the incorruptible do not drink the food that comes from the sour", and advised him not to lose a big ...... All of this is subtly influencing the values of the girls.
In a traditional Chinese wealthy family, in most cases, the father is the "provider" who earns money to support the family, and the mother is the "virtuous helper".
Therefore, even as society continues to progress and ideas are constantly updated, gender equality is gradually becoming a reality. Women's participation in education, the workplace and social life is becoming more diverse and important, and relationships within the family are becoming more egalitarian and democratic. However, the inherent notion of gender roles such as "male protagonist outside, female protagonist inside" is still deeply rooted.
The social discipline of "husband and child" has left an imprint on women's thinking. thinks that it is orthodox to make her husband stronger than to become stronger, and thinks that if you can't do it, the other party is better than you. Who knows, this is the real self-dwarfing of women
The husband is noble, and the wife is not necessarily honorable. Self-pride, then all things thrive.
Instead of assisting others, it is better to achieve oneself. Whoever has the weapon will be able to decide whether to pull the trigger or not.
Lack of homeschooling
Many families with superior economic conditions are always trying to protect their daughters
Because this generation of post-60s and post-70s parents themselves suffered too much back then, for fear that their daughters would suffer again, so they tried their best to show them the "beautiful" side of the world and hide the dark side of human nature behind them.
As a result, the daughters who don't worry about food and clothing have never seen the scene of people fighting for a few dollars in the market, and they don't know that the villagers in the same village can give medicine in the neighbor's fish pond because of jealousy, so it is easy to have a lack of understanding of the darkness of human nature.
A rich girl who is defenseless against people goes to society, just like a three-year-old child holding gold through the city, everyone wants to get some benefits from her, and "love" is the best disguise
The daughter of a powerful family tried her best to mobilize her mother's resources to support the man's development, and the other party's career was thriving, but after her father-in-law lost power or passed away, her face changed instantly. In reality, there are countless such cases.
After people are developed, they will always want to erase the previous unbearable. And the so-called kindness, once it is too heavy to pay it back, it is better to give the other party some charges to relieve yourself. Therefore, it is okay to carry it, and it is necessary to be able to accept unloading and killing donkeys.
So I have always felt that when two mature people fall in love together, they don't say stupid things when it's good, and don't say cruel things when they're bad.
In the same way, there is no need to do stupid things, and there is no need to do cruel things. The so-called stupid thing, taking an intimate video is a thing, in fact, refusing to do it when two people are in a good relationship doesn't affect anything at all, but once it's filmed, it's really endless trouble for girls.
Another stupid thing is to use your own money and resources to support each other, and you don't think about using these money and resources to get yourself to that position
This society is very malicious to men who have no money and no power, and this malice is no less than the society's judgment on women's age and appearance, so men's attachment to money and power is far greater than that of women.
And girls are soft-hearted by nature, so they are naturally more likely to be deceived. Take myself as an example, my philosophy is that it's okay to cheat me about my feelings, but it's not okay to cheat me out of money, because I can have many relationships in my life, but how much money can I earn? So, talk to me about money, don't even think about it.
Until one day, someone retorted to me, saying, "You have to ask for a large sum of money at one time, and you will definitely not come, so you have to ask for it for a long time, and you can't resist."
I thought about it, and it made sense. You said that the other party is in need, can we really pay nothing?
Therefore, girls must grasp a degree, that is, how much money and resources are invested in each other, and it will not affect your life and mood at all.
Few people will always remember the stepping stone that once held up themselves after climbing to a high place
Sunk cost shackles
In a relationship, we invest time, money, emotions, opportunities for personal growth and development at the expense of personal growth and development, as well as shared property, and the impact that an unhappy end to the relationship can have on an individual's reputation......
Sunk costs such as these make it difficult to give up knowing that the relationship is terrible and has no future.
However, continuous investment does not necessarily recoup the existing losses, and sometimes it is more rational to bravely separate.
So how do we deal with the emotional issues that come with sunk costs when ending a relationship?
First, accept the reality and admit that the relationship is over. Second, recognise that sunk costs have already been incurred and cannot be recovered, and that continuing to invest will only further increase losses. What matters is what you learn in the relationship and how you can apply those experiences to your future life.
Then, shift your focus to personal growth and self-improvement, focusing on the future, not the past. You can also chat with friends or family members, or even a professional psychologist to get some emotional support from different perspectives and roles.
There is also the need to keep an appropriate distance from your ex and avoid unnecessary emotional entanglements. Remember not to make any decisions when you're emotional, and calm yourself down first.
Ending a relationship can be difficult, but not getting bogged down by sunk costs is what gets life back on track. What you have to do is to be patient and compassionate with yourself, and let her heal at her own speed.
I think that girls from wealthy families, as long as they are not bound by traditional concepts, realize that love is as complex as human nature, and do not fall in love in the past, they can avoid the fatal blow of love.
This article is from the WeChat public account: Zhiqu classmates, author: Liu Zhiqu
This content is the author's independent view and does not represent the position of Tiger Sniff. May not be reproduced without permission, please contact [email protected] for authorization
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