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The saddest thing in life is the death of a loved one, and despite the infinite grief as a child, you still need to calm down and deal with the aftermath of the elderly.
Traditional Chinese customs pay attention to the burial of peace, and the relics of the elderly are often carried and burned to comfort the spirits of the elderly in the sky.
However, the posthumous image is a special object among the relics of the elderly, and there have always been differences in its treatment.
Some people think that it should be burned, while others believe that it should be preserved for worship.
So for the remains of the deceased elderly, is it the right way to burn or preserve?
What should be done with the relics of the elderly, and how should the funeral be handled in an orderly manner after the death of the elderly, and what are the precautions?
1. How to dispose of the relics of the deceased elderly
Although the death of a loved one is sad, children should still cheer themselves up and take care of the aftermath.
There are different funeral customs in all parts of the mainland, and there are subtle differences in the way the remains of the elderly are disposed of.
Generally speaking, after the death of a loved one, the family needs to bring the information to the relevant unit to issue a death certificate, and bring the documents to the crematorium to burn the body of the relative.
Most of the urns after burning are buried in the form of burial, because the concept of burial is very strong in traditional mainland thought.
If the elderly person dies in a foreign country, it is generally necessary to return to the hometown to hold a funeral to convey the news of the old man's death to the neighbors.
The graves of the elderly are generally incorporated into the ancestral graves, on the one hand, the fallen leaves return to the roots, and on the other hand, it is also convenient for the worship and remembrance of subsequent relatives.
As for the disposal of the relics of the old man before his death, most of them were burned to accompany the old man to leave.
The incineration of the relics of the elderly is due to safety considerations.
This is because many elderly people suffer from illness before they pass away, and some diseases are contagious, and intimate clothing and bedding inevitably carry the virus.
The burning of relics is also to prevent the spread of bacteria and viruses, and to take responsibility for the health of relatives.
And if the relics of the elderly are not burned, once they are inadvertently seen by relatives, it will also lead to touching the scene and thinking about people.
Relatives also need to be very careful when taking care of the relics of the elderly.
This is because the older generation does not have the tradition of depositing money and assets in the bank, but prefers to hide them in their personal belongings.
In the past, because the relics of the elderly were not carefully searched, there were cases where the property left by the elderly was burned.
Therefore, family members should first carry out meticulous rummaging of the relics of the elderly, so as to avoid burning valuable objects together and causing property losses.
Incineration is the mainstream way to dispose of the relics of the elderly, but the remains are a special kind of relics.
Most of the posthumous portraits are made after the death of the elderly, and their meaning of existence is to preserve the voice and appearance of the elderly, so as to prevent the appearance of the elderly from gradually blurring in the minds of children.
At present, there are two voices fiercely confronting the way the old man's remains are handled.
One believes that the portrait of the old man should be preserved, while the other believes that the portrait of the old man should be burned as well.
So for the treatment of the old man's portrait, is it more appropriate to burn it or preserve it?
What are the purposes and considerations of the two?
If you choose to keep the posthumous image, how do you preserve it?
2. Should the portrait of the deceased elderly be preserved or burned?
The old man's posthumous portrait is the last photo of the old man's life, so he often attaches great importance to the selection of materials.
Some of them are ID photos of sitting in a precarious position, and some are photos of the elderly's special moments, which are portrayals of the elderly's life.
The reason for burning the statue is similar to avoiding the relic from triggering the sensitive emotions of the loved one, both of which are to prevent the relatives from feeling sad when they see the image of the elderly.
But if the old man's photo is burned, then the last trace of the old man's existence in the world will be removed.
Over time, the old man's face may gradually blur in the minds of loved ones, and thus gradually become forgotten.
To avoid this from happening, it is also recommended to keep the photos of the elderly.
Create a special area in your home to continue worshipping, or hang it on the wall for your loved ones to look at the elderly.
And for many contemporary families, most of them live in cities.
As the population becomes more mobile, many people move to live in other places, making it difficult to worship the graves of the elderly on a daily basis.
At this time, you can place the photo at home, and you can worship the photo on a special day to comfort the souls of your loved ones in heaven.
Avoid the occurrence of tiring travel between the family and the mausoleum of the elderly.
Moreover, at present, in order to avoid a series of uncivilized behaviors brought about by going to the grave, as well as the possible fire hazards of burning paper on the grave, the mainland advocates online worship and smoke-free grave visiting.
Replacing the traditional way of going to the grave by worshipping the remains is undoubtedly a compliance with the policy.
After the death of a loved one, children often feel that they have no support, and thus feel endless loneliness.
The existence of the portrait of the elderly can make the children feel the comfort and warmth of their hearts, so as to make the children stronger.
It means that parents are still by their children's side, so that their children can cope with their future life with a more relaxed attitude.
But for children who have just lost their parents, their hearts are extremely fragile, and once they see the portrait of the elderly, they are likely to have an emotional breakdown.
Even if you choose to keep the statue, it is best to keep it properly in the early days to prevent your children from seeing things and thinking about others.
Wait until the children have gradually come out of the haze of grief, and then take out the statue to worship or hang it on the wall.
The mainland has a strong traditional concept, and there is a systematic way to deal with the relics of the elderly, and the retention of the remains of the elderly is also very particular.
So if the children choose to keep the portrait of the elderly, what kind of storage method should be adopted, and what are the regulations and customs in the form of placement?
3. The way and customs of the old man's portrait are placed
Generally speaking, if it is decided to keep the portrait of the elderly, then after the funeral ceremony, the eldest son of the male family needs to carry him home.
When returning home from the cemetery, I was very particular about how to carry the statue.
The eldest son and boy need to show the portrait on the back of the back, holding the two lower corners of the portrait, which means that the old man has been buried in the earth, but the image of the old man will always be remembered by the children.
For southern families, they have a strong clan concept, and most of the southern families have ancestral halls.
After the death of the elderly in the family, the statue of the old man is often put into the ancestral hall to worship and worship incense, and pray for the blessing of the ancestors.
In addition to the remains of the old man in the ancestral hall, there is often the spiritual seat of the old man, which can be regarded as a reunion in another sense, which is convenient for future generations to worship.
If there is no ancestral hall, then a shrine can be built to be used as a place for the remains of the elderly.
The specifications of the shrine are simpler than that of the ancestral hall, and can be customized according to the number of spiritual positions, and most of them are made of precious wood, which is lower in cost and more convenient to relocate.
In addition, it can be hung on the wall for children to see, but the choice of room is very particular.
Generally speaking, the main hall should not be chosen as the place where the statue is placed, because the guests in the living room come and go too much, which is not conducive to the "peaceful sleep" of the elderly.
When an unfamiliar guest sees a portrait placed in his home, he may feel fearful and have a bad impression of the guest.
Therefore, it is generally not necessary to hang the portrait of the elderly in the main hall, but to place it in a more private space such as a side hall or study.
In the direction upward, it should be hung on the north wall, facing south.
This is because in the construction of Chinese houses, the north side is honored, and hanging the statue on the north wall is an expression of respect for the elderly.
If the portrait of the elderly is hung on the wall for a long time, it may also produce dust, so it needs to be cleaned up in time.
Or choose to wrap the statue at an unimportant time and store it properly, and wait until the traditional worship festival to take it out for worship, which is also feasible.
The impact on children after the death of a loved one is profound and heavy.
For children, it is necessary to adjust their mentality, form reconciliation with their own hearts, and take on the burden of the family after the death of the elderly.
For the family members of the elderly, it is necessary to strengthen the company with relatives, express filial piety to their parents as much as possible, and do not let the elderly leave regrets in their lives.
epilogue
The death of the old man has caused infinite grief to the children, but after calming down, they need to take care of the old man's funeral.
Most of the relics of the elderly are burned, but the treatment of the remains of the elderly is full of differences.
Some people believe that it should be burned to prevent relatives from seeing the portrait of the elderly and thinking about things.
Some people also believe that the remains of the elderly should be preserved, so that the memory of the elderly should be convenient, and it is also convenient for daily worship, which can be described as killing two birds with one stone.
The storage method of the remains is also very particular, and it can be stored in the shrine or in the ancestral hall.
If it is hung on the wall, it is best to hang it in the study or side hall so that it will not be disturbed by visitors.
In order to prevent the statue from falling into ashes, it can be wrapped and stored in normal times, and taken out for worship when it is time to worship.
The death of a loved one is sad, but children still need to pay attention to their own lives, recover from their grief as soon as possible, and cope with the rest of their lives with a calm attitude.
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Resources:
Reading Literature and History April 11, 2023 "The posthumous image can't be placed randomly, how to deal with it?" Let's see what customs, taboos and exquisiteness the folk have"
Qianqiu Culture December 3, 2023 "After the old man is buried, what should be done with their portraits?" Can you keep it? Here comes the answer! 》
Long-winded Shoko September 4, 2024 "After the old man is buried, will the remains be burned or preserved? Remember not to leave it in a mess, how to deal with it appropriately"