The Veil, written by Maugham, the famous writer who knows the best storyteller, was once rated as "the most worthwhile book for girls".
The title page of the book reads: "The living call this splendid veil life." ”
The Buddha said, "All appearances are false. ”
It means that everything you can see is false and unreal.
It's like covering a veil that makes it impossible to see the truth of the facts.
We have to make many choices in life, and we are often blinded by this veil and make bad decisions, thus putting ourselves in prison and losing our worth.
As an independent woman with self-esteem and self-love, I hope you don't have any of these 3 worthless behaviors.
Don't settle for your marriage in order to conform to the world
Katie was a natural beauty billet born into a typical middle-class family in United Kingdom.
His father was a lawyer, and his mother, Mrs. Justin, was a mean, miserly, vain woman.
The mother trained Katie to be a courtesan of United Kingdom high society, in order to make a good marriage for her young and beautiful daughter, to satisfy her vanity and face.
Katie has indeed become the darling of the social circle of the upper class because of her good looks and cheerful personality.
Katie squandered her youth wantonly, and her pride and power kept her until she was twenty-five years old and she did not meet anyone who made her heart move.
And her sister, who is a few years younger than her, although her appearance is mediocre, she also found Ruyi Langjun at the age of 18 and is about to get married.
Her mother also began to dislike Katie, sneering at her and constantly urging her to get married.
Under all kinds of pressure, Katie hastily marries Walter Fein, a bacteriologist who pursues her, in order to get married before her sister.
Walter has a dull personality and is not good at words, which contrasts sharply with Katie's lively and cheerful personality, who loves to talk and laugh.
This may be due to Walter's deep love for Katie, who makes up for his character flaws.
Katie didn't love Walter at all, but his conditions and his obsessive pursuit made Katie feel very useful.
Coupled with her mother's urging to go on a cheap country vacation together, Katie was very disgusted, so she quickly agreed to Walter's marriage proposal.
Although Walt was meticulous to Katie after marriage and met all her requirements, Katie had no feelings for Walter at all.
Soon Katie meets Tang Sheng, the man she loves, and betrays Walter.
This unfaithful marriage eventually led to Walter's death.
This kind of marriage combined by external pressure, without in-depth understanding, let alone emotional foundation, and each other does not get the satisfaction and happiness brought by love, which is the reason for the failure of the marriage.
There is no shortage of such examples in life.
Because of the age of marriage, or the urging of parents and relatives, peers have already entered into marriage, and they are anxious and panicked, and they just find a similar person to marry to complete a task.
As everyone knows, people who are not the same as themselves spend the second half of their lives, and the contradictions, pains and torments in the future will gradually be revealed, which will undoubtedly be the biggest irresponsibility for themselves.
Don't get married in order to escape the control of your family of origin, or any difficult situation.
Because marriage is not necessarily salvation, but another cage
Don't indulge in lust and get involved in other people's marriages
Katie and Tang Sheng met at a party, Tang Sheng was tall and handsome, versatile, romantic and amorous, which satisfied Katie's beautiful imagination of men.
Tang Sheng seemed to be covered by a colorful veil, radiant and flawless.
Compared with Walter's boring married life, Tang Sheng brought Katie a new feeling.
She quickly fell in love and couldn't help herself.
Tang Sheng is actually a merciless "scumbag" who lied that he had no relationship with his wife, and only lived together for the sake of children and habits.
Katie firmly believes in Tang Sheng's love for her, until Walter discovers Katie's infidelity, and he asks Katie in her dream to lift the veil of her belief in the hypocrisy of men.
Walter's divorce conditions were either Tang Sheng agreed to divorce his wife and marry Katie, or he went to the epidemic area abroad to help.
Katie is confident that Tang Sheng will soon divorce his wife and be with her.
can get Tang Sheng's answer that it is impossible for him to divorce his wife, and his wife is a virtuous helper he can't live without.
Only then did Katie see Tang Sheng's selfish and ugly side, she was just one of Tang Sheng's many lovers.
Saddened and reluctant, she travels with Walter to a foreign land where cholera is rampant.
Katie didn't get the love she wanted, and her betrayal made Walter no longer warm to her, instead of indifference and revenge, and he didn't forgive her when he died.
If the marriage is unhappy, the real solution is to look inward for the crux of the marriage, not for sustenance in the extramarital affair.
It turns out that men who have extramarital affairs are nothing more than looking for excitement and novelty.
When he is really held responsible, he replaces the sweet words of the past with callousness.
Once a marriage is betrayed, it is difficult to relive old dreams, it is difficult to reunite after breaking the mirror, and it is difficult to repair emotional rifts.
Even if the partner wants to forgive, it still won't last long.
The pursuit of romance or indulgence in desire, do not sacrifice family and morality, the interdependence of loyalty and responsibility is the true meaning of the existence of marriage,
Don't pin your happiness on others
Disheartened, Katie followed Walter to Mae Tan Province, which was a time of cholera epidemic, and the environment was harsh, and people who came here were dying.
People die every day from the virus.
People were evacuated except for local officials leading the army to maintain order, the deputy commissioner of customs, Wittington, and a women's convent in France.
Stuck in sorrow every day, Katie has nothing to do, and when she sees the nuns of the convent caring for abandoned babies and wounded soldiers at their own risk, she is greatly shaken.
Death makes everything else trivial.
Katie puts aside her lovelorn feelings and asks to join the convent.
At the convent, she took care of the older girls, and used her cooking and sewing skills to teach them the craft and be their supervisor.
Katie's dedication to her work has been recognized and loved by the nuns and children of the convent, and she has found her own value. The body and mind no longer feel empty.
The mental changes before and after made Katie awaken her heart. In the past, she always pinned her hopes on men, whether it was marrying Walter, who she didn't love, or having an affair with her lover Tang Sheng.
When she saw the great love that was higher than the ego and faced the real life, she found her life value.
Self-independent, not dependent on others, willing to enrich her wings, free from the protection of others, Katie completed self-redemption.
A woman's happiness is always in her own hands, and she becomes a person worthy of the love of others.
Independence and inner growth are always the most important thing, rather than relying on others for your own happiness.
▼
Fu Seoul said: "A woman, at any time, should not completely pin her hopes in life on men, love and marriage can be the icing on the cake, but it is not the whole of life." ”
Don't casually settle for your own marriage in order to cater to the world, don't take false feelings as true love, and indulge in desires. Don't put your happiness entirely in others.
No matter when and where, keep yourself, insist on self-growth, and don't lose yourself because of the colorful veil of things.
No matter how difficult the world is, women should not give up their ability and right to walk independently.
Only in this way can true freedom and happiness be attained.
Author | Poetry · Qingmo