As the saying goes: "The tree wants to be quiet but the wind does not stop, and the child wants to raise but does not wait".
In the long river of life, our parents are our first harbor, they shelter us with endless love and care, accompany us through our ignorant childhood, and lead us through the youthful and rebellious youth until we can face this complicated world alone.
However, when the wheels of time pass mercilessly, the temples of our parents are gradually dyed with hoarfrost, and the body is no longer as vigorous as before, we should repay their nurturing grace with more love and consideration.
In particular, when your parents are old, please stop doing these three things to them, otherwise you will regret them for the rest of your life!
First things first: don't release negative emotions on your parents
Nine times out of ten, the pressure of work, the complexity of interpersonal relationships, and the gap between dreams and reality can make our mood terrible.
However, no matter how much of the grievances and setbacks we have suffered in the outside world, we should not unreservedly vent these negative emotions on our parents.
Parents, these two words represent warmth, tolerance and endless love.
When we were young, they held up a sky without wind and rain for us, and silently endured the hardships of life, just to give us the best environment for growth.
With their warm embrace and gentle comfort, they soothed our countless pains and losses.
However, when we grow up and face the pressures of life, we often inadvertently use them as an outlet for our emotions.
Maybe it was because of a mistake at work that was severely criticized by his boss, and his grievances and anger exploded the moment he returned home, yelling at his parents.
Maybe it's because of a quarrel with a friend, I'm depressed, and when I get home, I turn a blind eye to my parents' concern, and even speak ill of each other.
Or because of his own confusion and anxiety about the future, he turns this helplessness into a complaint against his parents.
But have you ever thought about it, every catharsis of negative emotions is like a scar on the tip of your parents' hearts.
Their eyes full of care and worry faded in our anger.
Their longing for a warm meeting with us was shattered by our complaints.
Our parents don't owe us anything, and they have worked for us for most of their lives, and now they are in their twilight years, and they should be enjoying our love and care, but they have to bear our unwarranted negative emotions, how unfair and cruel it is.
In addition, when faced with our anger, parents often choose to suffer in silence because they love us so deeply that they would rather hurt themselves than conflict with us.
But this kind of tolerance does not mean that they have no waves in their hearts, but they choose to tolerate our mistakes with tolerance.
If we don't stop this, it may break the hearts of our parents and push them further and further.
No one can avoid negative emotions, but you can't blindly vent to your parents, but you should learn to self-regulate your emotions.
The moment you step through the door, leave all your worries and unhappiness outside the door instead of using your parents as a trash can for your emotions.
Remember, true maturity is not about venting your emotions at will, but about knowing how to control your emotions in front of people who care about us.
The second thing: don't rely too much on your parents for help
Although we have grown up or started our own families, we sometimes habitually turn to our parents for help when faced with various difficulties in life.
This kind of dependence may be understandable when we are young, but as our parents grow older, we should realize that over-reliance on their support can affect our parents' lives and even cause them a burden.
After Sun Lili's daughter was born, she often asked her mother to come over to help her take care of the child.
However, when it comes to parenting, mothers are very traditional, and although Sun Lili keeps telling her mother about new parenting methods, her mother always can't remember.
For this reason, Sun Lili often loses her temper with her mother.
The mother also felt depressed because of this, and even felt that she was too old to help her daughter and cause trouble to her daughter.
In fact, as they grow older, their physical functions gradually decline, their energy is not as good as before, and their thinking cannot keep up with the trend.
At this time, as a child, it is not easy to be more considerate of parents.
It's really hard to think about how hard they worked day and night for our growth, and now they continue to take care of us.
Now, if parents don't do something right, they should be more tolerant and considerate.
There are also adults who are already working, but still unable to meet their daily expenses, and reach out to their parents for money when they encounter a little financial crisis.
Parents may not hesitate to give their savings to help us, but that doesn't mean we can take it for granted.
We should learn how to manage our finances and become financially independent through our own efforts, so that our parents no longer have to worry about our living expenses.
As children, we need to understand that independence is the best reward for parents.
When we are able to take charge of our own problems and solve various problems in life, our parents will be proud and happy for us, and they will be able to enjoy their old age with peace of mind.
The third thing: do not ignore the emotional needs of parents
In the busy modern life, we are often entangled in various affairs, the pressure of work, social interactions, and personal hobbies, so that our time is filled.
This makes it easy to overlook the fact that parents also have emotional needs, and they crave our attention, companionship, and understanding.
As you get older, your parents' social circle may shrink and they may have fewer and fewer friends around them.
They may have come to our lives because they were unable to live independently, leaving them away from the circumstances they were once familiar with.
In such a situation, the companionship and care of children are particularly important.
But how do we do it?
I often use the excuse that I am busy with work and lack of time to spend less time with my parents.
We may give them a gift for the holidays, but we forget that they want us to sit next to them, talk to them, and share the joys and sorrows of life.
We may say a few words of greeting on the phone, but we don't have the patience to listen to their inner loneliness and longing.
Our parents' love for us is never reciprocated, but that doesn't mean we can take their feelings for granted.
A thoughtful greeting and a warm hug are incomparably precious gifts for them.
If we always ignore the emotional needs of our parents, they may become reticent and even suffer from mental illness.
Therefore, we should take the initiative to go into the inner world of our parents and understand their preferences and dreams.
Even if it's just sitting on the sofa watching an old movie and cooking a home-cooked meal together, they can feel strong family affection and love.
Remember, don't let your parents spend their old age waiting, and don't let their love become a lonely watch.
Write at the end
When our parents are old, we should take care of them with a more delicate heart and stop doing these three things to them.
Let's weave a warm old age for them with love and care, so that they can spend a happy and peaceful time in our company.
Remember, time waits for no one, and don't wait until you lose it to know how to cherish it.