It is often said that "it is difficult for a halfway husband and wife to be white", which means that those couples who have not spent time together since their youth have come together in the second half of their lives, and it is often difficult for them to go through ups and downs together until they are old like those couples who have been together since they were young.
Indeed, for remarried couples, there will be more and all kinds of problems in life, if these hurdles are crossed, they may still be able to get over it, and if they can't get over, they can only break up again.
So, why is it difficult to say that "halfway couples" are at the end? The reason is nothing more than that you can't cross these "three hurdles".
01
The first hurdle: Because of the problems of the children on both sides, the two have too many contradictions
One of the most common and difficult problems in the "halfway couple" combination is the integration and acceptance of the children of both parties. On this issue, the core members of two once independent families have to face the interweaving and collision of each other's family feelings, and a little carelessness may lead to a series of irreconcilable contradictions.
Mr. Zhang and Ms. Li each reorganized their families with one child. At first, both were full of hope, thinking that as long as they loved each other, they could give their children a complete home.
However, as time goes on, the friction between the two children grows, and every little detail, from the fight over toys to the distribution of learning resources, can become the trigger for a family war.
In the conflict between the two children, Mr. Zhang favored his own children, while Ms. Li felt aggrieved, and the two quarreled frequently because of this, and the originally warm home gradually became full of gunsmoke.
Later, their marriage broke down again because the conflict was not resolved.
In fact, they forget that as a halfway couple, in addition to managing their own feelings, it is more important to learn how to be a "good parent" to each other's children, which requires great patience, wisdom and selfless love.
02
The second hurdle: the husband and wife are not honest enough about the joint property, and they both guard against each other
The economic base determines the superstructure, and the same applies in marriage. Especially for "halfway couples", since they may have accumulated property in the previous marriage, how to deal with these assets fairly and transparently has become an important issue to test the trust and sincerity of both parties.
Nina · O'Neill said, "Trust is the most important trait shared by two people in a marriage relationship, and it is indispensable for building a happy, growing relationship." ”
And many remarried couples often lack this trust the most.
Just like after Sister Wang and Brother Chen remarried, they have been carefully protecting their property, for fear that they will be "calculated" by the other party if they are not careful.
Although they live together, they are financially separate, and even the daily expenses of the family have to be taken care of. This lack of trust fills their married life with suspicion and insecurity.
By chance, Sister Wang discovered that Brother Chen was secretly hiding private money, which became the last straw that crushed their marriage.
In fact, if they can be honest with each other at the beginning of their marriage and make a reasonable financial plan, they may be able to avoid this unnecessary tragedy.
03
The third hurdle: there are still entanglements in the relationship with their respective predecessors
The third problem of "halfway couples" often stems from the unfinished relationship with their ex. Whether it is an emotional disconnection or a variety of entanglements in real life, it can become a time bomb in a new marriage and may detonate at any time.
When Ms. Zhao and Mr. Li remarried, they both thought that they had completely let go of their ex. However, as time went on, Ms. Zhao discovered that Mr. Li was still in close contact with his ex-wife, and even met alone on certain important holidays.
This made her extremely upset, believing that Mr. Li was not fully committed to this new marriage. Mr. Li, on the other hand, believes that Ms. Zhao is too sensitive, and he only keeps in touch with his ex-wife out of concern and responsibility for his children.
As a result, the relationship between the two reached an impasse, and finally after a heated argument, Ms. Zhao filed for divorce.
This case tells us that as a "halfway couple", we must learn to completely let go of the past, try not to have anything to do with the ex, and devote ourselves wholeheartedly to the new married life, otherwise, those seemingly insignificant connections may become a sword that destroys happiness.
04
In the final analysis, the reason why halfway couples can't get over is because they have too much selfishness towards each other, they only care about their own children, or their own feelings, and they never put themselves in each other's shoes.
Therefore, for halfway couples, if you always calculate your own efforts, but refuse to show all your sincerity, then such a day can only stumble, and it is really not easy to have a white head with each other all the way.
In short, the difficulty of "halfway couples" is often because it is difficult for both parties to overcome the three hurdles of child problems, property honesty and ex entanglement.
But remember, every marriage is a spiritual practice, and as long as both parties are willing to put in the effort and manage it with heart, there is no difficulty that cannot be overcome.
Finally, I hope that every "halfway couple" can work together to overcome these difficulties and usher in the other side of happiness that belongs to you.