At 14:33 on February 3, 2021, musician Zhao Yingjun died of illness in Beijing at the age of 43. Subsequently, almost the entire entertainment industry mourned his departure - what did a person do to harvest so much sincere thoughts and love? Through the conversation with many of Zhao Yingjun's former friends, "People" tries to restore the last time of Zhao Yingjun's life, and also hopes to use this article to let more people know him and remember him.
Wen | Dai Minjie
Interview | Dai Minjie, Tong Yuxuan, Luo Qian
Edited | Golden Stone
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In 2019, when eating with Zhao Yingjun, actor Sang Ping found a strange thing: Zhao Yingjun stopped drinking Coke.
How could Zhao Yingjun not drink Coke?
Yuan Chengjie met Zhao Yingjun in 2004, when they participated in the talent show "My Type I Show" on Oriental Satellite TV. Years later, he still remembers Zhao Yingjun's love for Coke, he can not drink water, can not eat, but must drink Coke, and he only drinks Coca-Cola.
Sang Ping and Zhao Yingjun met in 2015, when they filmed "Detective Chinatown" in Thailand together, working together every day and finishing work together. Zhao Yingjun has to drink Coke every day, he sometimes calls Coke Happy Water, sometimes Coke Water, and every day he will say, I have to drink Coke water. Zhao Yingjun also thanked Coke in his Weibo, that is, in 2012, he sent a Weibo commemorating the 10 years of leaving his hometown, he thanked God, music, movies, love, family, friends, and Coke.
Finding that Zhao Yingjun did not drink Coke, Sang Ping's first reaction was, is this bad blood sugar? Zhao Yingjun explained, Hey, slowly the age has also come here, over 40, you have to pay attention to the body, Sang Ping feels reasonable. Friends who are familiar with Zhao Yingjun know that because he had hepatitis when he was a child, Zhao Yingjun almost never drank, Sang Ping thought, and then quit Coke, isn't this very good?
Zhao Yingjun's body was in a state of condition, and Sang Ping knew about it. In 2018, he heard a friend say that Zhao Yingjun was sick, where there was a tumor, and he had to do a small operation to cut it, otherwise it was very dangerous. After the operation was done, no one mentioned it anymore, and Zhao Yingjun also came out to work, Sang Ping thought, it was estimated to be a cyst or lipoma. On February 5, 2021, the day of Zhao Yingjun's funeral, Sang Ping learned that Zhao Yingjun had been diagnosed with advanced liver cancer in 2018, and after the diagnosis, the doctor told Zhao Yingjun that the situation was not optimistic - since then, he knew that his life probability had entered the countdown.
Zhao Yingjun posted the last personal photo on Weibo Image source Weibo
But only a very small number of friends know about it. Zhao Yingjun does not want others to know that he is sick, his circle of friends and Weibo are updated as usual, scolding, happy or posting a small essay, he does not want his friends to feel sorry for him, but also wants to continue to maintain his dignity.
Beast Yi Xiaoxing felt that this was a kind of self-esteem, Zhao Yingjun was not willing to accept any pity from others, which was also his pride, there was something I could carry myself, you are my friends, you only need to share my happiness, not share my suffering. He was such a proud warrior.
Later, more and more friends knew that Zhao Yingjun was sick, but they were all tacitly doing two things at the same time, one was to keep this secret for Zhao Yingjun, and the other was to pretend that nothing had happened in front of Zhao Yingjun, not to ask him how he was sick, how it was, to cheer up, but to chat with him normally, for this disease, without mentioning a word.
Li Xiaolu knew early on that Zhao Yingjun was ill, but they had maintained an inexpressible exchange between them. In 2008, they met in the movie "Nightclub". After that, Zhao Yingjun wanted to make a movie, so he left Shanghai, where he had lived for 7 years, and returned to Beijing with black eyes. In the first period of time, Zhao Yingjun did not have many job opportunities in film, or mainly music, as the producer of Xue Zhiqian's album, he also talked about this past in an interview, mainly thanks to Boss Xue. One day, Li Xiaolu saw Zhao Yingjun send a circle of friends and said that on a rainy day, he wanted to eat a bowl of noodles made by his family. She replied, you come to my house. Zhao Yingjun came, teasing a few months old Sweet Xin, talking about life, he will not say that he has any troubles, that is, eating noodles, drinking Coke, Li Xiaolu sits on the opposite side, and will not ask him if he is bitter, do you need any help, the two people are very tacitly chatting, after eating noodles, Zhao Yingjun left.
This time too. Li Xiaolu would not mention to Zhao Yingjun that he was sick, nor would she show heartache or sympathy in front of him. When the weather is good, she will send him WeChat, today is a good day, the sun is big, you hurry to give me to the balcony to bask in the sun. Zhao Yingjun replied, Well, I am basking in the sun. She never said, Oh, you're all right, she just said, eat more recently, don't eat spicy, treat him like no one else.
Wu Bin is a friend of Zhao Yingjun in "My Type I Show", in his view, all the advantages and disadvantages of Leo are vividly reflected in Zhao Yingjun. Advantages, Leo is very righteous, very fond of being a big brother, very enthusiastic, he has it all, and he is also very straightforward. The disadvantage is to face, he wants face too much. The friends of "Type Show" have successively known about Zhao Yingjun's illness, and for a long time, when they inquired about Zhao Yingjun's situation with each other, they would not mention his name, and would say: What happened to that friend? Is that friend better?
In November 2019, Wu Bin organized a party for "Type Show", dozens of them went from Shanghai to Beijing, in fact, it was for him, and everyone actually wanted to see him.
On the day of the party, everyone pretended not to know that Zhao Yingjun was sick, that is, chatting together, singing, eating and eating, especially happy, but Wu Bin felt that Zhao Yingjun must know that everyone was acting, but tacitly, because in the past parties, they would always persuade Zhao Yingjun to drink, but that time, no one advised him to drink.
"I Type My Show" contestants reunite Image source Weibo
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At the beginning of 2020, Zhao Yingjun said that he had a wish to make a cover album and change some of his songs to a narrator to sing.
Hearing Zhao Yingjun's idea, some friends realized that this might be a red flag, which may have worsened. It is also true that in the spring of 2020, Zhao Yingjun's condition recurred, and suddenly it spread, and it was very heavy. But because of the epidemic, the treatment was not smooth, and finally Xue Zhiqian took him to Shanghai for surgery.
After Zhao Yingjun's death, a nurse in the department of surgery at Shanghai Changzheng Hospital wrote a commemorative article briefly describing Zhao Yingjun's situation at that time - that was in March 2020, when Zhao Yingjun was very thin, the situation was not optimistic, but he was still very optimistic and open-minded, he would joke with doctors and nurses, and before entering the operating room, he also clenched his fists to cheer himself up. During that time, Xue Zhiqian would go to the hospital almost every day to see him.
After that operation, Zhao Yingjun had talked to Li Xiaolu about his situation, or that kind of understated tone, mother, I cut it for the first time, it was okay, the second time it recurred, this long place is particularly bad or something, Li Xiaolu said, he still does not want you to feel sorry for him.
On September 17, 2020, Zhao Yingjun's re-singing album "One Song, One Story" was officially released, and 13 singers covered his 13 songs, and what was once a nagging about the re-singing plan finally became his first album.
On this album, Kim Ji-moon sang the song "Plastic Bag" that he had been thinking about for a long time. Jin Zhiwen said that when he first listened to "Plastic Bag", he fell in love with the song, and he felt that Zhao Yingjun wrote the words that would never be spoken in his heart in this lyric.
It was 2005, and Zhao Yingjun became popular on the Internet because of a song called "Stimulate 2005", but because of copyright problems, he did not get a penny. He fell into a kind of self-doubt, feeling worthless. At that time, he watched a documentary in which white plastic bags flew all over the sky... At that moment, he felt, Am I not a waste like a plastic bag? But what can we do, we can only wait, wait, wait for a gust of wind to blow. Soon, he wrote the song "Plastic Bag" and stuffed it into the hard drive.
In 2014, Kim Met Cho Young-joon, and the two became good friends musically. Almost every time they met, Zhao Yingjun would take out a song he had recently written to him, also called Xianquan, Jin Zhiwen said, and when he showed it to me, he was the most proud and happy time. Every time, when Jin Zhiwen listened to the song, Zhao Yingjun would look at him with wide eyes, and if he was full of confusion after listening, Zhao Yingjun would joke and say, listen, right?
Jin Zhiwen told Zhao Yingjun that he liked the song "Plastic Bag" very much, and Zhao Yingjun also felt that this song was very suitable for Jin Zhiwen, but later, the movie "Sewing Machine Band" chose this song. Kim Chi-man said that he and Cho Young-joon are both behind-the-scenes backgrounds, a situation they often have to face, and they made a work with their own hearts, but in the end they could not sing it. Seeing that Jin Zhiwen was very disappointed, Zhao Yingjun did not say anything, and gave all the arrangements of the song to Jin Zhiwen and let him be the producer of the song.
《Plastic Bag》
After starting the re-singing program in early 2020, Zhao Yingjun told Jin Zhiwen that I arranged a "plastic bag" for you, and I know that for so many years, he has been carrying this matter in his heart and does not want to leave me with this regret. He was already sick, and he was helping me to complete this before he left.
Jin Zhiwen said that Zhao Yingjun has always been like this, we have asked him to respond, and he must have put it in his heart when you open your mouth with him. In his view, Zhao Yingjun is a very comprehensive musician, the words can be written by himself, the songs can be written by himself, and he can also sing by himself, in fact, he can make music without anyone's help, but because many friends around him actually need to live and need to make money, he will send the live to the friends around him and help a lot of musicians around him.
Li Xiaolu remembered that she once went to see Zhao Yingjun, he also continued to work on the phone, not many people know his situation, people look for him, he also told others, I don't take these things too much now, he said so at the time, I think there is a person better than me, more suitable for this matter, he also gave friends to introduce.
Last year, Li Xiaolu recorded an album, and Zhao Yingjun also recommended a friend to her to tutor her in the details of singing. At that time, Zhao Yingjun pulled a group, after the album was recorded, the group has not dispersed, Li Xiaolu said, now I sometimes go to listen to his voice.
Wu Bin said that in the group of "My Type I Show", Zhao Yingjun has always been a core force. He is good at listening and feedback, will mediate conflicts between each other, and when there is any problem, everyone always goes directly to his house to find him. I call him Brother Shan, some people call him Brother Zhao, and some people call him Brother Dashing. He was a big brother almost everywhere.
The last time Jin Zhiwen saw Zhao Yingjun was half a year ago, when he went to visit him at home. At that time, Zhao Yingjun lost a lot of weight, but his spirit was still very strong. That day, they still talked about music and movies as usual, and they had a lot of fun. Never talk about being sick. He never showed a vulnerable side in front of me. Only I was unhappy to go to him, he talked to me about happiness, and never let me meet when he was unhappy.
——All the friends of Zhao Yingjun that "People" contacted this time, almost everyone said the same thing. Li Xiaolu said that his characteristic is that he absolutely does not let others see his unbearable side. He's stubborn and dashing.
Sang Ping said that he basically does not confide in others, in his opinion, very few people will really treat the pain of others as pain, most people are just very tactful, very polite, oh, good, hi, want to open a little, just pull down. But he will naturally speak to Zhao Yingjun in his heart, because he is a real person, speaking directly, to the point, and there is no shelf, you can reach out and touch him.
The look he looked at you made me remember very deeply, and that one I can't forget. Sang Ping said that the look made him believe that Zhao Yingjun was listening to him carefully, and it was the look of a good brother - whether it was seen at night, or his face was covered, or he was sick, as long as he saw his eyes, Sang Ping knew, Oh my God, this is my dashing brother.
Zhao Yingjun and his friend Xue Zhiqian
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Film director Han Yan first met Zhao Yingjun ten years ago, when he was 27 years old and Zhao Yingjun was 33 years old. That day, they talked for the night.
Ten years later, Han Yan recorded a conversation on Weibo at that time - Zhao Yingjun asked Han Yan if he knew the curse of 27 years old, many geniuses left in the year of 27, such as Kurt Coburn, such as Jimi, etc. Han Yan listened, slightly shy, Zhao Yingjun smiled mysteriously, and then said, Rest assured, we are both over 27 years old, the heavens confiscated us, indicating that we are not considered geniuses, live happily!
In 2020, Han Yan's film "Send You a Little Red Flower" was launched, which is a movie about the life trajectory of two anti-cancer families. Before starting the camera, Han Yan made an appointment with Zhao Yingjun about the theme song of this movie, which was also the last song written by Zhao Yingjun before he died.
Near the end of the year, Jin Zhiwen received a voice message from Zhao Yingjun, Dingdong! Jin Zhiwen smiled, he was always so naughty. Zhao Yingjun told him that he had written a song, could he find his team to do the arrangement, that is, the song "Little Red Flower".
Jin Zhiwen agreed, and the apprentice Wen Kui became the producer of the song. Later, Wen Kui told Jin Zhiwen about the production process, and we couldn't make it up countless times, choking. You have to stop for a while, and you have to rest for a while.
At that time, Zhao Yingjun's body was already very weak, but the electric guitar at the end of the whole song, he still insisted on playing it himself, and the part of the master voice and the chorus part of the song were all sung by himself. Jin Zhiwen said that he did not dare to listen to the song for a while, and did not listen to it for the first time until the song was released, at that time, I did not hear that he was sick.
On December 15, 2020, Han Yan forwarded the song on Weibo, saying that the song had been played nearly five hundred times on my phone from the time I received the demo to the end of the remix. Today, please @ Zhao Yingjun is a dashing brother to accept my thanks to the ground... One after another, like the ditches we have crossed in our lives, the mountains we have turned over, listening to the acid, but also listening to the pain...
Zhao Yingjun forwarded this Weibo, he wrote: I did not expect that the end was such a song, but it is so appropriate. At that time, the vast majority of people who heard the song did not know what this finally meant.
Image source Weibo
The last time Jin Zhiwen contacted Zhao Yingjun was on December 20, 2020, and he sent a screenshot of a page: "Send you a small red flower", Zhao Yingjun, soared to the first place in the list. Jin Zhiwen said, congratulations to my brother, he likes to win the top spot. Zhao Yingjun replied, haha This is the first time in my life. Then a hug, another flash expression — send you a little red flower.
Before that, Jin Zhiwen wanted to see Zhao Yingjun again, but was refused: Oh, you don't want to come, I may have to go to the hospital tomorrow, in two days to get together, in two days. Kim Said he knew very well that he didn't want me to see him at the end. I want to keep his most handsome look in our hearts.
During that time, almost all the friends who knew Zhao Yingjun's condition were doing psychological construction, and they didn't know when the boot would fall off. When Li Xiaolu did not sleep well at night, she would go through Zhao Yingjun's circle of friends, she said, Zhao Yingjun's circle of friends did not show the slightest pain from beginning to end, it felt like a normal person. On the evening of February 2, she went to look through Zhao Yingjun's circle of friends and found that she had not sent it for many days, and the next afternoon, she received the news that Zhao Yingjun was gone.
It was February 3, 2021 at 2:33 p.m., when Zhao Yingjun passed away in Beijing at the age of 43.
When I heard the news of Zhao Yingjun's death, Jin Zhiwen happened to be changing the strings, and after I knew it, I cried while changing, and when I was finished, I wiped my tears and went to play the piano. I want to miss him this way. I played the piano for a day, and it was "Plastic Bag."
The handsome brother is gone. On the afternoon of February 3, Sangping finally received the call. He put on his clothes and went out, got in the car, and was going to the hospital, but he wondered what the point was now to go there except for one more person to cry. He turned his head and drove the car on the highway, from the West Sixth Ring Road to the North Sixth Ring Road, to the Jingcheng Expressway, to Miyun, back and forth for three hours, more than 200 kilometers, and the car was always playing "Send You a Little Red Flower" - that was the first time he listened to this song in its entirety, before, he had been afraid to listen.
In the car, Zhao Yingjun sang over and over again to send you a small red flower, Sang Ping cried, he said, it was a song written by Zhao Yingjun to himself, he was rewarding himself, gave himself a small red flower.
Zhao Yingjun and his friend Dong Chengpeng
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When he received the news of Zhao Yingjun's death, Yi Xiaoxing was in the car. He turned his head to look out of the car, where a man was riding by on a bicycle. The cyclist wore a thick down jacket, and the down jacket hat with the raw edge was tightly tied to the head, which looked like Zhao Yingjun's explosive head from behind.
Almost everyone would be curious about Zhao Yingjun's explosive head. In 2015, when Sang Ping saw Zhao Yingjun, the first thing he said was: Is your hair permed? Zhao Yingjun said that everyone will ask me this question, and then carefully explain the principle of his hair: he is a self-roll, but not a general roll, but the kind that each hair will repel each other, and when it is short, it will lie on the head like wool, and when it is long, it will naturally form a popcorn.
Before topped this popcorn, Zhao Yingjun's name was Zhao Jian.
Sang Ping had heard Zhao Yingjun tell Zhao Jian's story. Before Zhao Jian left his hometown of Fushun, he was an employee of the local bank. The whole bank engaged in business competitions, Zhao Jian's abacus, abacus and counting money can get the first, he is a person who is not fooled. At the end of the 1990s, in the wave of layoffs in the three northeastern provinces, banks began to lay off employees, and leaders talked to each other, and 6 lay off 1. Others would go to the leader's house at night to give gifts. Zhao Jian also went, empty-handed, and told the leader, don't bother, I will do you a favor, you will cut me off. Zhao Jian was laid off as he wished, and he was satisfied with the 20,000 yuan that he bought out his working years, bought a guitar, bought an effect device, and went to the dance hall to play.
He formed a band called Impossible and became the father of Fushun's rock and roll, the king of rock. In 2002, Zhao Jian came to Beijing, wanted to be a star, and at the beginning he sang in Sanlitun, took 50 yuan on the first day, and took 55 yuan to take a taxi home. Later, Zhao Jian went to Shanghai to participate in a draft competition called "My Type I Show", and withdrew from the competition after two rounds, but was left by the organizers and became a music director, and after that, Zhao Jian became Zhao Handsome and Dashing Brother.
Dashing - this is almost Zhao Yingjun's life creed. Yuan Chengjie said that Zhao Yingjun is a person who can wander anywhere, as long as there is music, as long as there is food, you can drink a Coke, sing a song with friends, write your own song, this is the happiest world. He was an extremely poet-like man, truly free in his way of life.
Other artists may like to buy cars and buy houses, but he won't. In Yuan Chengjie's impression, Zhao Yingjun has no need for material life, he is the kind of person who only has two yuan in his pocket, and he can still spend two yuan to go out for breakfast, eat bowl noodles, or eat a bun, spend the money, and then giggle and spend another day. He remembers that in 2004 and 2005, they were all in Shanghai, they had no money, if they wanted to invite Zhao Yingjun to dinner, he would always eat chicken pot, 80 yuan can eat a meal for 4 or 5 people. Zhao Yingjun also has a unique secret recipe, adding Coke to the chicken pot, because the sugar in the cola can make the chicken sweeter.
But at the same time, Zhao Yingjun is also an extreme person - almost everyone says so.
He loves a thing, he loves it to the extreme. Yuan Chengjie said that Zhao Yingjun loves movies very much, as long as he talks to him about movies, he can talk to you for one night, talking about all kinds of directors and actors, Monica Bellucci's movies he can say for a few days. There's also the guitar, which he loves guitar and can spend all his money on music equipment.
Sang Ping remembers that when they were filming in Thailand, Zhao Yingjun did not bring a guitar when he went, and then they went shopping, as soon as he entered the instrument shop, he did not leave, and the next day he ran to buy one himself.
Guitar is the most frequent topic in Zhao Yingjun's Weibo
In Zhao Yingjun's self-evaluation, cool is also a very important thing. He changed his T-shirt every day, and it had to be a different style, and he wanted not a brand, but all kinds of cool patterns on the T-shirt. When filming in Bangkok, Sang Ping often accompanied Zhao Yingjun to a supermarket in a big park to buy T-shirts, where the T-shirts were very cheap, almost 25 yuan a piece, Zhao Yingjun went every time like buying goods, buying nearly forty or fifty pieces at a time, buying until he couldn't move. During that time, because of filming, Zhao Yingjun often traveled back and forth to Beijing and Bangkok, and when he went from Beijing, he would take an empty box, and when he returned to Beijing, the box would be stuffed with T-shirts and jeans, and he would buy at least three hundred pieces.
I want to get a thousand pieces I also buy, as long as I can afford to buy, I will take it back, I change one every day, I tell you, you can wear Chaoyang District whole, who dares to say that with our family than my T-shirt. Zhao Yingjun said.
Sang Ping asked him, you normal person, can you wear it?
Zhao Yingjun replied, You care about me, I won't die immediately.
Sang Ping said that Zhao Yingjun never cared what others thought of him, and one of his favorite words was: Hi up. He wants to make himself happy at all times. He was like a child, like an inflated balloon that could explode at any moment.
But Sang Ping also felt that a person who pursued the extreme so much might also be a lonely person in his heart. In front of us, he didn't seem to have any troubles, nor did he worry about anything. Again, almost everyone says so. "The King Called Me to Patrol the Mountains" is one of the songs that Zhao Yingjun has a very high degree of singing, a very cheerful song, so that people do not feel that this person has deep emotions, only think that this person is giggling, headless and brainless, Yi Xiaoxing thinks, this song is what Zhao Yingjun wants to show to the world, this is the proof of his heart: he is a person who is willing to make others happy - he may have been trying to be a person who pursues happiness. Sangping said.
In Yuan Chengjie's memory, Zhao Yingjun actually loved to cry. In the final scene of the final of "My Type I Show", the big guys hooked their hands, put their shoulders together, cheered each other up, and stretched the string, and no one should cry. The scene put a song "Friends", friends walk together all their lives, Yuan Chengjie turned his head to see Zhao Yingjun, very round, very large eyes, eye sockets can not cover tears, rushing and flowing. Another time on KTV, Zhao Yingjun ordered a song of the Earth Orchestra's "Love Scattered" and another song "Don't Come Unharmed" - in the most difficult time, he had received help from the Land Orchestra. That day, he was singing alone in a small sofa, Yuan Chengjie just wanted to rap really well, he saw Zhao Yingjun's eyes full of tears, because he did not want to be seen, he secretly wiped it with his hands, pretending to be calm. He is a very sensitive and delicate person, and his feelings are sometimes very fragile.
But after that, few of my friends saw Zhao Yingjun crying again.
The only time Li Xiaolu saw Zhao Yingjun crying was when recording "Youth Hostel", and when the last issue was recorded, everyone shared the letter they wrote, and everyone cried uncontrollably. Handsome is a person who never cried, hearing his crying come out, I thought he was teasing us, I said you are not joking, I looked up, he cried so sadly, that was the first time I saw him cry.
The last time Sang Ping saw Zhao Yingjun was in mid-January 2021, when he and Wang Baoqiang visited Zhao Yingjun's home. Before going, Wang Baoqiang said to Sangping, you must hold back, don't cry, after all, we are normal people, people are patients, we don't want to go later, affect people's mood. When he first entered the door, Zhao Yingjun was a little excited, and he had already changed his voice when he spoke. Sangping had never seen him cry, it was the first time. Zhao Yingjun's fiancée took a tissue over, and he wiped a tear, and then he didn't shed a tear.
That day, Zhao Yingjun shook their hands and said, Anyway, I am fighting with this disease, I can't let it easily defeat me, but I know that the result must be that I lose, but I lost with a little dignity, I have to stay up until the last day.
They talked for a long time, the topic of conversation is still not related to the disease, they talk about music, talk about movies, talk about several movies affected by the epidemic last year, analyze the current film market, and worry about the box office of "Tang Detective 3"... He didn't take illness as all he had. Sangping said.
For more than two hours of chatting, Zhao Yingjun had been holding their hands and never let go, in fact, he also knew that everyone who came to see him might be the last time he saw him. Later, Sangping has been thinking about a problem, how to end this conversation, it is difficult for you to say goodbye to him, you don't know how to end it. He is no longer a friend who can get together again in the New Year, now the time is almost up, go first, get together another day, no, this kind of ending is like the end of a life, do not know how to end. At the end, in fact, it is said that my lifelong friendship with you is over, and I walk out of this door today, in fact, there is a high probability that I may not see you.
At the end of the conversation, Zhao Yingjun spoke slowly, the frequency of rest was getting higher and higher, one would drink saliva, one would drink saliva, Sang Ping asked, are you tired?
He said that it was okay to have time to rest later.
Zhao Yingjun, Xiao Shenyang and Sang Ping collaborated in "Detective Chinatown"
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Zhao Spent His last days in the hospice ward of Beijing's Tsinghua Chang Gung Hospital. Zhao Yingjun had seen the doctor's information and communicated with the visiting medical social worker about his needs, and finally made such a choice.
Lu Guijun, the head of the hospice care team of Tsinghua Chang Gung Hospital and a cancer pain management expert, recalled his brief time with Zhao Yingjun, and what impressed Lu Guijun most was Zhao Yingjun's calmness and open-mindedness at the end of his life.
For his condition, he was completely receptive. Before coming to the hospital, Zhao Yingjun had almost made all the preparations, said goodbye to his good friends, signed the album to be given to his friends and doctors, wrote a farewell essay, arranged all the music copyright matters, and also chose the clothes and shoes for himself to wear when he left... Very complete. Lu Guijun said.
After coming to the hospital, because of the difficulty of breathing, Zhao Yingjun hoped to sleep, and after taking the sedative medicine, he fell asleep as he wished. His mother was watching him at the bedside, and Lu Guijun was worried about whether the mother and son had anything to say, so he asked his mother if the medicine should be shallow and let him wake up. Mom said, no, it's so good, so at least it doesn't hurt, it looks very peaceful.
On the album for friends, Zhao Yingjun wrote: Don't forget me in this life. As one of the earliest doctors in China to implement the concept of palliative care in the clinic, Lu Guijun has seen too many terminally ill patients and experienced too many deaths, in his view, this is also the deepest fear of the vast majority of people when facing death, death and death are not the same, death is quiet, static, no vitality, and death is completely forgotten. Lu Guijun said that if a person is not forgotten, his fear of death will be smaller.
Before meeting Zhao Yingjun, Lu Guijun did not know him very well, after meeting him, although the communication was very limited, Lu Guijun could still judge what kind of person Zhao Yingjun was, and the criterion for him to make a judgment was the care, respect and love given to him by his friends and family members.
Yi Xiaoxing said that in ordinary life, zhao Yingjun's three words most often said were I love you - to express gratitude, he would say so; to express understanding, he would say so; to express comfort, he would also say so. He was sincere every time he said it.
Lu Guijun and the doctors in the team both felt that the quality of this person's life was too high, and he received much more love than many people.
At 2:33 p.m. on February 3, Zhao Yingjun stopped breathing, and at that time, the song "Send You a Little Red Flower" sounded in the ward, a song he wrote with his life. His fiancée held his body for a long time, Lu Guijun said, so many people love you, love beyond life and death.
That night, Zhao Yingjun's Weibo updated a small essay he wrote before his death, and at the end, he said, I hope you don't forget me so quickly, as long as there are still people who remember me and remember my singing, I may be in some corner, accompanying you.
As a good friend of Zhao Yingjun, Dapeng also found a secret in this small essay - there is no period at the end of each paragraph. There is no period, we do not have a period. Dapeng wrote in a message.
Dapeng said that for this parting, he may take a long time to digest, and he will also follow Zhao Yingjun's instructions to arrange his posthumous affairs - a simple memorial service, and everyone present received a small red flower - it was a red rose. There is also a red sticker with a rock gesture printed on it, and a dashing farewell — this is a deliberate design of Dapeng, a pun on the word dashing, both Zhao Yingjun himself and his gesture when he bids farewell.
Dapeng designed a farewell sticker for Zhao Yingjun
After the farewell ceremony of the body, all the visitors left, leaving only close friends, Zhao Yingjun's fiancée had been standing next to the coffin, not saying a word, quietly, just looking at him, looking at him for a long time.
That night, the friends also held a small party, and in the loop of Zhao Yingjun's singing, the friends got together to discuss how to help him complete his unfinished dreams. He said in the letter that he wanted to be a film director, and wanted to go to the Bird's Nest to have a concert... Friends made a lot of plans, and then there was a memorial service, to make it look like a film festival, and everyone dressed like a masquerade ball. As for Zhao Yingjun's wish for the reunification of the motherland, his friends are also happy, and we may not be able to help with this matter for a while and a half.
At the party, everyone also listened to Zhao Yingjun's demo recorded for "Send You a Little Red Flower", which was the most real voice without any modification, Zhao Yingjun sang a sentence, took a breath, sang a sentence, and took a breath. Everyone was crying.
But Zhao Yingjun said, don't make black, black and white, crying and crying? The party was coming to an end, it was time for a group photo, the big guys dried their tears and smiled at the camera, and the moment the shutter was about to be pressed, everyone shouted a word —
Brother, awesome!