When many people get married, they don't want to live with the old people on both sides of the world. But after giving birth to a child, they were forced to live together due to reality. It's something that can't be helped.
The reason is simple: because the child is not watched.
If you want to take care of an energetic child, you need a good workforce. This task often falls on the head of the elderly.
This is something that a lot of families have to do.
However, anything that brings benefits will inevitably bring disadvantages.
Young couples should anticipate these 3 outcomes early and then adjust them to be more beneficial to their marriage.
01 The elderly have different living habits and parenting concepts
When young couples let the elderly watch their children, they must be psychologically prepared: that is, the living habits and parenting concepts of the elderly are inevitably different from those of young people.
If you can't accept these differences, it will be difficult to go smoothly.
For example, some young couples dislike the poor eating habits of the elderly. He even vomited the food he had chewed and gave it to his children to eat. I think it's unhygienic.
For the sake of these little habits, a fierce quarrel will break out between the two parties.
There are also elderly people who are used to doting on their children and spoiling their children too much, which will also make young couples unbearable.
The list goes on and on.
In fact, many of the concepts and living habits of the older generation are different from those of young people.
If it is said that the elderly and young couples can communicate well, then many problems can be solved.
On the contrary, if one party is too stubborn and the other party is too cynical, then the relationship may be difficult to handle.
02 There may be conflicts of interest
In fact, many times, when the elderly take care of their children, they will have conflicts with the young couple in terms of interests.
It's not a matter of caution, it's a real problem.
After all, everyone is an ordinary person, and natural accounting is more than living expenses. Isn't it?
For example, some elderly people with children have to pay out of their own pockets to be responsible for the children's expenses.
Even, the living expenses of young couples have to be subsidized by the elderly. I don't believe that if this goes on for a long time, the old man will not complain at all?
Or an elderly person who needs to work to support his livelihood.
Because I have to help young couples take care of their children, I can't work. Such resentment will not be small.
Although it is a family, many things can be accommodated. But over time, a lot of living expenses will accumulate.
This is not a trivial problem for ordinary people with an average income.
Therefore, it is very important to divide the rules of these money problems in advance.
Never be greedy for cheap and ambiguous.
03 The impact on your own small family
The elderly with children also have an important impact on the family, that is, it may affect the relationship between husband and wife.
Yes, you read that right, it is.
In reality, not everyone is sincere, all kind-hearted, and can get along well.
Among the old and young couples, if there is one person who has other intentions, it will be difficult to deal with the relationship.
For example, the elderly who like to stir up trouble, or relatives, often interfere in the lives of young couples and provoke the relationship between two people.
It may end up in a divorce, which is not a matter of course.
There are also young couples, one of them, to each other's parents, is calculating in every possible way, and the intentions are not pure.
Truth be told, it's also a cancer in family relationships.
Letting the elderly watch their children is a must-have option for many ordinary families after marriage. No way.
But there will be a lot of problems in between.
It is necessary for young couples to anticipate these in advance, and then be prepared for a rainy day.