In "Why doesn't my daughter tell us in pain? ", the anonymous user's answer was embarrassing. She lost the courage to confide in her parents due to being mistaken for a long time and ended up facing serious health problems on her own. Behind this, it is the parents' distrust and neglect of their children, which leads to the construction of children's psychological defense.
When parents habitually question their child's feelings and needs, the child feels a deep sense of frustration and helplessness. This sense of distrust will gradually erode children's sense of security, making them gradually close their inner world, forming a communication mode of "reporting good news but not bad news".
On the high-speed train, the scene of a 10-year-old boy being angrily scolded by his parents for buying three meals is heart-wrenching. Out of good intentions, the child hoped that his family could share a boxed lunch with different flavors, but in exchange for the blame and indifference of his parents.
While blaming their children for "wasting money", parents ignore the kindness and care behind their children. This kind of misplaced emotional expression makes the child feel that it is not understood and accepted, rather than the transmission of love.
Whether it's a little girl who is misunderstood as feigning illness because of a stomachache, or a 14-year-old daughter who makes three dishes and one soup and is disgusted for wasting food, they have all endured the oppression and belittlement from their parents. This kind of education may seem strict, but it is actually a serious blow to children's self-confidence and self-esteem. Repressive education may make children obedient and obedient in the short term, but in the long run, it will deprive children of their ability to think independently and grow independently. In the constant denial and blows, children will gradually lose their sense of self-worth, become inferior, sensitive and difficult to communicate.
Parents should learn to listen to their children and respect their feelings and needs. When your child encounters difficulties or discomfort, give enough care and support, rather than easily questioning and denying. Encourage your child to try new things, and give positive feedback and encouragement even if they fail. Let children grow through experimentation and gain experience through failure, so as to develop perseverance and self-confidence.