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In 2020, 91-year-old grandmother Sun was in a nursing home in Shanghai, in front of the window, her eyes looked beyond the courtyard wall, staring at the home where she had lived for more than half a century, but at the moment, it seemed distant and strange.
Grandma Sun's eyes were full of longing and sadness, and she whispered softly, "I want to go home." "
Grandma Sun is already trying to escape from the nursing home for the fifth time. Each time, she was persuaded by the staff or by the children who arrived in a hurry. For the former revolutionary worker, the nursing home was like an invisible cage that deprived her of her cherished freedom.
In China's rapid aging trend, Grandma Sun's situation is not unique, and more and more elderly people are encountering similar difficulties. The children sent them to a nursing home, and although the environment was unfamiliar, they still longed to return to their familiar home.
Five years ago, Grandma Sun lived a full and happy life. Despite the death of her husband, she is still actively involved in the community, loves singing, dancing, and making friends.
However, one night in 2015, Grandma Sun accidentally fell and suffered a brain hemorrhage, and this sudden accident changed everything. The accident made Grandma's children realise that their mother needed more professional care.
After recovering, Grandma Sun was taken to a nursing home 50 meters away from her home by her four children. There are two reasons, firstly, there are professional nursing staff and 24-hour doctors on call, which can better ensure the safety of mothers; Secondly, the children also want their mothers to be better cared for here.
However, for Grandma Sun, the distance of 50 meters is like a barrier that is difficult to cross.
The bound grandmother began a long and unremitting struggle. She tried several times to escape, seek help from the neighborhood committee, and even seek legal assistance, but these efforts ultimately failed.
As time passed, Grandma Sun's mental condition became worse and worse, and she began to store a large amount of sleeping pills, and even had suicidal thoughts.
This case illustrates the complexity of the issue of elderly care in contemporary China, which is not only related to the quality of life and psychological needs of the elderly, but also related to the responsibilities of their children and the shortcomings of the social pension system.
How to ensure the safety of the elderly while respecting their wishes and freedoms has become a social problem that needs to be solved urgently.
Grandma Sun's life is legendary. As a retired cadre, she dedicated her youth to the construction of New China, and this dedication has not been forgotten. On the occasion of the 70th anniversary of the founding of the People's Republic of China, she was awarded the Medal of Honor, a badge that bears witness to her loyalty to the country.
In her personal life, Grandma Sun lived very happily. She raised three sons and a daughter, and built a harmonious and warm family. When the children are still very young, the house is always full of laughter and energy.
Grandma Sun and her husband have spent a long time together, witnessing the growth of their children and sharing the bits and pieces of life.
However, the passage of time is like flowing water, never to return. As the children start their own families, move away from home, and pursue their dreams in life, the once bustling family gradually becomes deserted.
A few years ago, Grandma Sun's husband left this world, and she was the only one left in the house.
In the face of changes in life, Grandma Sun was not crushed by loneliness, but faced life positively and optimistically. She took the initiative to integrate into the community, and singing and dancing became her daily routine. She also makes friends and participates in various community activities.
Gradually, Grandma Sun got rid of the loneliness after being widowed and regained the joy of life. She feels heartily satisfied with such a full and happy life in her old age.
However, one night in 2015, an accident changed Grandma's otherwise peaceful life. On that day, the 86-year-old grandmother unfortunately fell and her lip was broken.
The five children who received the news immediately rushed to the scene and took their mother to the hospital. After a preliminary examination, it was found that Grandma Sun's blood pressure was normal, and Grandma Sun herself insisted that there was no major problem and hoped that the children would go home to rest.
When they saw that their mother was safe and sound, the children were able to leave with peace of mind. However, at three o'clock in the morning that night, Grandma Sun's eldest son suddenly received a call from his mother, in which Grandma Sun's voice was weak, saying that he had an unbearable headache.
The eldest son immediately sent Grandma Sun to the hospital, and after a comprehensive examination, the doctor was shocked to find that Grandma Sun had a cerebral hemorrhage and was in a critical condition.
This sudden incident caused the whole family to fall into deep panic and self-blame, and they regretted that they had not noticed their mother's abnormality in the first place. Grandma Sun's life was saved under the emergency treatment of the hospital, but the accident sounded the alarm bell for the family.
After Grandma's condition stabilized, the four children held a family meeting to discuss how to arrange Grandma's future life. Although Grandma Sun was able to take care of some basic life on her own, considering Grandma Sun's age and the severity of the accident, the children agreed that Grandma Sun needed more professional care.
After much thought, they made a difficult decision: to send their mother to a nursing home. From the children's point of view, the nursing home's nursing professionals are able to take care of the mother's daily life around the clock.
What's more, doctors are on duty 24 hours a day and can treat them immediately in the event of an emergency.
However, this well-intentioned decision has instead led to family conflicts, and for Grandma, life in a nursing home is like a bondage.
From that moment on, the problem of pension life became a problem cast by the family, and the family bond was also tested.
For 91-year-old Grandma Sun, the nursing home is like an invisible cage that imprisons her desire for freedom. It is only 50 meters away from home, but it seems to be an insurmountable moat.
This elder, who once spent his youth for the construction of New China, now feels that he has lost his most basic autonomy.
Grandma Sun's struggle was all-encompassing. She had tried to escape from the nursing home several times, but each time she had failed. Her actions were not just about escaping, but a strong call for freedom.
"I'm not a criminal!" Grandma Sun once complained to the people around her in such pain. She couldn't understand why she had a good pension, her own house, and could take care of herself, but she couldn't go back to her home where she had lived for more than half a century.
In her quest for freedom, Grandma Sun has tried many ways. She called the neighborhood committee several times and explained to them her plight. However, the response of the neighborhood committee made her feel deeply disappointed.
They feel that Grandma Sun's house is on the fourth floor, and for an elderly man in his nineties, there are many safety risks in his life. In contrast, nursing homes have a good environment and complete equipment, which is more suitable for the elderly.
Grandma Sun was not reconciled, and she even mustered up the courage to ask the people's court for help. However, the court's response once again plunged her into despair. The court said they could not intervene in the family dispute because Grandma's children had not inflicted any form of violence or abuse on her.
Although the court offered to assist, the grandmother's children were adamantly opposed to the settlement, which brought the whole matter to an impasse.
As time passed, Grandma Sun's mental state deteriorated. She began to hoard sleeping pills in large quantities and even had suicidal thoughts. On a slip of paper, she wrote heartbreaking words: "I have lost myself, like an old man who has lost my freedom, and I suffer endless pain every day...... which deeply reflects her inner despair and longing for freedom.
Grandma Sun's plight sparked sympathy from other elderly people in the nursing home. Her older sisters often come to accompany her and tell her that the service of the nursing home is actually very good, but maybe she is not used to it.
However, these kind comforts did not calm the pain and trauma in Grandma's heart.
What made Grandma even more helpless was that her ID card, salary card, and valuables, such as house keys and jewelry, were not with her. Even if she managed to escape the nursing home, there was nowhere to go.
This feeling of involuntary self-help made Grandma Sun very painful.
In this contest between freedom and security, Grandma Sun felt that the meaning of life seemed to be far away from her. She longed to return to her familiar home, filled with photos of her and her late husband, full of memories of the past half of her life.
However, this simple wish seems to be becoming more and more difficult to achieve.
Grandma Sun's story reflects the complexity of the issue of elderly care in contemporary Chinese society. It is thought-provoking and deserves our attention and discussion on respect for the dignity of older persons, their autonomy and how to find a balance between security and freedom.
In the context of this rapidly aging society, how to let the elderly spend their old age safely and dignified has become a major issue facing the current society.
Grandma longs to return home, while her children face difficult choices. Their decision to care for their mother led to the continuation of this family conflict.
This case clearly and profoundly presents the dilemma faced by contemporary Chinese families in the care of the elderly.
In the interview, Grandma's eldest son expressed their concerns: "My mother has a strong personality, but her current health is not suitable for living at home.
As children, we really can't afford to let her live alone at home. This sentence directly shows our concern - we are afraid that our mother will have another accident, and we are worried that no one will find out in time and provide help.
The second son's attitude was extremely resolute: "Please don't listen to my mother, she is already ninety years old, and her thinking may not be very clear. I explained to you that if you have to go home, you will be your children, and you will take turns to take care of them for a period of time every month, who is willing to take on this heavy responsibility? None of us can afford to do that.
This situation not only reflects the practical difficulties faced by those who are cared for, but also shows the enormous pressure on children to take care of their own families and mothers as they enter old age.
However, despite this, Grandma Sun's children still care deeply about her. The staff of the nursing home revealed that Grandma Sun's children took good care of her. They come in every week to bring delicious food, assist with dispensing medicines, and even take dirty laundry home to be washed.
Every time there is an emergency in the nursing home, they always rush to the scene immediately. This sustained attention shows the deep love of the children.
The children also choose to send their mothers to nursing homes because of their trust in professional care. They believe that nursing homes with professional nursing staff and 24-hour on-call doctors can better ensure the safety of mothers.
In contrast, there are many risks associated with leaving a 91-year-old living alone at home.
The children's own age also brings them a dilemma. Grandma Sun is 91 years old, and her children are also old and in urgent need of care.
The dilemma of keeping their mothers safe while also taking care of their own lives is stressful.
The concept of "raising children to prevent old age" in traditional Chinese culture has caused many children to face the pressure of public opinion. Sending a parent to a nursing home is often seen as unfilial.
Perhaps it is because of this social pressure that the children insist on keeping their mothers in nursing homes, hoping that their mothers will receive professional care services to make up for their inability to take care of their mothers themselves.
Grandma Sun's case illustrates the common dilemma faced by Chinese families about how to keep the elderly safe while respecting their wishes and freedoms. This requires more communication and understanding among family members, as well as more diverse pension options to meet the needs of different older people.
This case reminds us that when we pay attention to the care of the elderly, we should not only pay attention to their physical health, but also pay attention to their psychological needs. Only by giving them full freedom on the basis of ensuring safety can we truly provide for and enjoy the elderly.
After the media exposed Grandma Sun's story, it sparked widespread discussion and thinking in society. This case has touched a nerve for many because it reflects a common problem facing Chinese society today: how to properly organize the life of the elderly in their old age.
Regarding the incident, netizens do not agree on the incident, which can be summarized into the following three views:
The second argument in favor of Grandma Sun is that it is an extremely natural need for older people to want to live out their old age at home. They believe that children should respect their mother's wishes and do everything possible to accommodate their wish to return home.
These people believe that the mental needs of older people are just as important as physical health, and that we cannot just focus on physical health at the expense of mental health.
The third view is relatively neutral, arguing that the root cause of the dispute is the difference between the two sides. They called on family members to strengthen communication, mutual understanding, and work together to find solutions that will ensure the safety of the elderly while respecting their wishes.
This case has led to a broader reflection on the issue of pensions. Even a well-known actor like Huang Bo is facing similar problems. Huang Bo once publicly talked about his father's pension in a certain program.
Huang Bo's father, who suffers from Alzheimer's disease, was once accidentally lost, causing the whole family to panic. This made Huang Bo seriously consider sending his father to a nursing home, but he was worried that he would not be able to withstand the pressure of public opinion.
Whether it is an ordinary family or a celebrity, when facing the problem of parental pension, they will encounter all kinds of contradictions and troubles, and Huang Bo's personal experience is an example of this. This phenomenon has triggered a reflection on the existing pension system.
More and more people are calling for society to provide more diverse elderly care options for the elderly, and some of them are advocating the development of community elderly care services, which aims to allow the elderly to receive professional care without leaving their familiar environment.
In addition, some experts and scholars have suggested strengthening support for family care for the elderly, such as launching door-to-door medical services, home-based care services and other services, as well as carrying out relevant nursing training and other projects.
In addition, this case has also raised people's attention to the protection of the rights and interests of the elderly to an unprecedented height. At the same time, legal experts also proposed that a more perfect mechanism should be established so that the legitimate rights and interests of the elderly can be effectively protected when there is a disagreement between the elderly and their children.
Overall, Grandma Sun's story is a mirror of the challenges faced by Chinese society in the face of an ageing population. Among them, the contradictions within the family are only one part of it, and in more depth, it also involves issues at multiple levels such as social system and legal protection.
This discussion did not come up with a unified answer, but it played a positive role in promoting the in-depth thinking of the pension issue.
Grandma Sun's story sheds light on a universal and complex issue facing contemporary Chinese society, which is how to respect the will and freedom of the elderly while keeping them safe.
This thorny issue not only tests the wisdom of each family, but also challenges the wisdom of society as a whole.
We need to understand that many older people have deep vulnerabilities and insecurities. They are afraid of being forgotten and afraid of facing the end of their lives alone. Just as grandma longs to return to a familiar home, many elderly people are also looking for emotional support and a sense of belonging.
Therefore, for the elderly, we should not only pay attention to their physical health, but also their psychological needs.
The word "filial piety" not only pays attention to "filial piety", but also cares about "shun". As children, we should respect our parents' wishes and provide them with the most suitable care.
It may take a little more patience and creativity to find a solution that is both safe and meets psychological needs.
In this process, we also need the society to provide more diversified pension options. Whether it is a well-equipped institutional care system, a comfortable and convenient community care for the elderly, or a home care with strong support, the elderly should be provided with the right to make their own choices.
In this way, we can truly meet the individual needs of different elderly groups.
Remember the line from the movie "Dream Travel": "Death is not the end, forgetting is." "Its meaning is to remind us that the greatest care for older people is to make them feel that they will not be forgotten.
No matter which type of care you choose, the most important thing is to maintain an emotional connection with the elderly, so that they can feel the love of their families and the care of society.
In the face of the growing challenge of population ageing, everyone has the responsibility to work together to create a society that respects and cares for the elderly.
Only in this way can we truly realize that the elderly have care and happiness, so that every elderly person can spend their old age with dignity and quality.
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