Text/Xia Mo
01, frontispiece
To be a human being, we should be like water, benefiting all things without fighting.
In many cases, if you don't fight or grab, you show a calm and open-minded mentality, and it is easier to improve your realm and get more people's likes and recognition.
In love, too.
When two people are together, they fight too much about right and wrong, win or lose, and they will only lose each other's sincerity.
In a relationship, the more "indisputable" a woman is, the more a man loves you.
02. When encountering conflicts, do not fight to win or lose
Before, I read a little story about Mr. Yang Jiang in an article.
She and Qian Zhongshu are very affectionate, but in life, they will also encounter some small frictions.
Once, the two of them were on the boat and discussing the pronunciation of a French word. The two argued endlessly, and both felt that they were right.
Yang Jiang also pulled her husband to find a friend who was proficient in French to judge, and she won because her pronunciation was more accurate.
However, Yang Jiang was not happy.
On the contrary, she felt that it was a very bad thing to quarrel for so long for such a trivial matter, and to hurt her husband's self-esteem.
From then on, she decided to stop arguing with her husband over trivial matters, but to cherish their feelings for each other more.
People are always in the midst of competition, forgetting their original intentions.
Women love to win and lose too much, although they win against men, they actually lose more. Reason wins, but what loses is feelings.
"Ning Fei" wrote: "This wind in the sky has never fought for anything, so it is free. Indisputable, then free. ”
Women, if you don't care about a man's feelings in order to win or lose, then in the end, the relationship between the two will become more and more noisy.
Get along with a man, don't fight with him to win or lose, pretend to be confused, and protect his self-esteem. He will know whether he is right or wrong later, and he will be grateful to you for saving face for him and not revealing his shortcomings.
03. Don't fight to pay, balance the relationship between two people
I have a sister-in-law who knows how to manage marriage.
In marriage, she will never package herself as a too virtuous wife, nor will she arrange everything for her children, let alone give everything for her husband.
Rather, when he gives himself, he will also guide his husband to give, constantly balancing the relationship between two people.
For example, she watches the children at home during the day, and at night she asks her husband to take the children out for exercise; After she cooks dinner, she asks her husband to do the dishes.
In the heavy work at home, she will also show weakness, saying that she can't do it well, and ask her husband to help.
Her husband has always been very caring for his family and taking care of her feelings. The family, under their management, is getting better and better.
Women, no matter how much you love a man, don't fight to give.
"I encourage everyone to be a cold person, being overly enthusiastic is not a way for a person to maintain a good relationship," Cai said. ”
Guide the man to pay, let him take on the responsibility of the family, he will take care of the family more, love the children, and will love you more.
Women, just because you give more in marriage doesn't mean that a man will love you more. Rather, it is necessary to balance the relationship with each other and let the man also participate in the giving, and your relationship will be stronger.
04. With men, don't be competitive
It is easy to expose your true thoughts in your heart, and you will also expose your shortcomings.
In a relationship, the more a woman fights, the easier it is for her to be exhausted by her life.
Too competitive, too strong, will make a man forget to be gentle with you, forget to share for you, forget to take care of you.
A wise woman will use her own weakness as a weapon.
When getting along with a man, he knows how to show weakness, is willing to accept the man's help, and guides him to give love.
For a man's contribution, she will show a look of adoration and recognize his contribution.
In front of your lover, there is no need to emphasize your independence, let alone be reckless, and let yourself bear all the pressure alone.
A good marriage requires the cooperation of both parties and the operation of the business together in order to go long-term.
Women are not overly responsible, do not be competitive, guide men to cooperate with you, maintain the family together, give men the opportunity to perform, and he will know how to love you.
05. Summary
There is a sentence in "The Godfather": "Soft-heartedness without boundaries will only make the other party gain an inch; Unprincipled kindness will only make the other person do whatever he wants. ”
Women, managing feelings, do not rely on one-way giving, and do not fight for a trivial matter, right or wrong.
In a relationship, it is necessary to learn to guide the man to give and balance the relationship between two people.
When a man participates in the construction of a relationship, he will love you more, and he will be more responsible, and he will be more attentive to maintain the marriage.
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Author: Xia Mo, a cutting-edge emotional tutor, a psychology scholar, a popular emotional writer with more than 1 billion people on the whole network, a happy woman manager, focusing on emotion, sexes, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.