Many people will have this idea, thinking that the breakup is because of these problems that arise in getting along, and if these problems are solved, the relationship between you will be reconciled as before.
Xiaoyu said to redeem
This kind of thinking appears more in some relatively older couples, the person who wants to redeem always wants to talk to each other, and always wants to talk about the problem to the two people, and this kind of thinking is actually a manifestation of no cognition of the nature of the relationship.
However, I am not here to criticize these people today, I just want to analyze the feelings with you from the perspective of value, and help you deepen your understanding in this regard, so that you can make the right recovery.
If you want to redeem friends, please listen to my words first: the essence of feelings is not the romance that everyone understands, except for your imagination of feelings, in fact, feelings are just an extremely realistic transaction.
When you understand this, you will also know that the reason why the other party will be with you is not fate, but what you want in the other person.
This thing could be your appearance, it could be your character, it could be your material foundation, and so on.
Some people may hate that I talk about feelings so realistically, so please bypass it, what I said is not suitable for you.
We have to understand that whether the other person likes your appearance or your substance, these things themselves belong to you as a person, and are the basic elements that make you who you are. You don't always say, for the sake of love, I don't want this face, this face is not mine.
Xiaoyu said to redeem
We know that love is essentially an exchange of value, which means that the other party will recognize you because you are valuable, so the time you love each other is actually the process of how much you are willing to compromise for the value of the other party.
Let's take a very simple example to illustrate:
For example, if you want to buy an apple, and then the boss tells you, twenty yuan a piece, you must be very angry, twenty dollars a piece, you are a big wronged plant? Who are you bluffing when it's so expensive?
But if it's an Apple mobile phone at this time, and the boss tells you that it's 2,000 yuan a piece, you'll think, it's quite cheap, buy one and try it.
When you compare these two examples, you will find that you don't think 20 yuan is expensive, you just think that this Apple is not worth 20 yuan to be expensive, because you are willing to spend 2,000 yuan for the Apple mobile phone.
In the same way, you also understand the breakup problem as that when you first fell in love, you were the 2,000 yuan Apple phone, and now you may be the Apple, and the other party is not willing to pay such a high price in exchange for your time.
Although it is a bit frustrating to say this, this is really a heartfelt statement.
Having said all that, I will give you a brief summary of some things that are helpful for recovery.
First of all, you have to think about what attracted each other in the first place, that is, how did you change from Apple to iPhone, because you have been in love for a long time, and you have lost the original value advantage, so you find out when you break up. It will also be an advantage when you make amends.
Secondly, you have to enhance your new strengths.
Xiaoyu said to redeem
Although value determines whether you are together, it does not mean that when the value of the other party does not match, let's quickly replace the next one and fall in love, so that you will never grow.
The best way is to learn to grow yourself, to learn to improve your self-worth, and many things that you can change and improve should be the direction of your efforts.
To improve the needs of the other party, and to improve the value you want, everyone should believe that the new sprouts of old trees are very impactful, and this impact may be far better than that of new love.
#前任##挽回##失恋#