Why do friends get beaten! A friend was on a business trip, and his wife gave him an electronic bracelet. When I came back from a business trip, my wife asked leisurely, is it exciting to go on a business trip? The heart rate is about 80 during the day, how can it be above 120 at night, and the heart rate is above 150 for a few minutes, and then it is 80 again. If your heart rate doesn't go up to 150 tonight, I'll break your legs!
There is a river in the forest called the Swing River, one day a ripe fruit fell from the tree into the river, "coo" sound, scared the rest of the little rabbit by the river to run away, the little monkey hurriedly asked: What happened? The little rabbit said, "There are ghosts! The little monkey also ran in a panic, and then the animals in the whole forest ran like crazy, and said to each other as they ran: "Oh no! Run! Swing the river out of the ghost! ”
My girlfriend's nerves are a little big! When I came back from work today, I happily said to me, "I was stuck in a traffic jam and late for work in the morning." I asked her suspiciously, "Are you so happy to be late?" My girlfriend said proudly: "I'm happy because I was late and didn't get punished!" Oh yes, and I just bought vegetables, obviously five catties of fish, the boss only counted me three catties. With that, she handed me the fish she was carrying, and she crouched down and changed into her slippers, and I watched her shirt with two buttons missing.....
Yesterday in the subway station queue rush bus card, suddenly there is a feeling of wanting to fart, can't hold back, just want to cough a fart to cover the past, I thought it was seamless, I didn't expect to fart, the little brother behind squatted down to tie his shoes, I fart, this goods actually sat back on the ground, and said: "Fuck it!" it! "Okay, count you as good, now everyone knows that I put the fart...
The first time I brought my boyfriend home, my mom was adamantly against us being together. Boyfriend promised: "Auntie, please believe me, although I only have an electric car now, for Xiao Wu, I will work hard to make money, in the near future, I will let Xiao Wu sit on the ...... of Daben" My mother slapped her boyfriend and scolded: "Old hoe, you stinky and shameless, you used this lie to fool me back then, fortunately I didn't marry you, and you still want to lie to my daughter today?" There are no doors! ”……
The left tooth fell out, and a wisdom tooth on the right came out at this time to join in the fun, and the face on the right was swollen like a pig's head, and drooled as soon as he spoke. Yesterday afternoon, Lao Wu, who rented my storefront, came to give the rent for the second half of the year, wearing a special mask, and told him to just put down the money, and I will give him the contract in two days. Lao Wu asked me why I was wearing a mask at home, and waved his hand to tell him not to ask, otherwise this mask would have to be replaced with a new one. This guy is good, he tore off my mask while I wasn't paying attention, and then exclaimed: "Brother, your daughter-in-law is too ruthless this time......
When I was a child, I watched Jigong's biography, and Jigong rubbed mud balls from his body to treat people, which felt very fun. I tried it on myself, but I couldn't rub it that big anyway, so I started not taking a shower for a long time, and then I finally succeeded, and I was very happy. But who knew that it was out of control from then on, and fell in love with this kind of thing...
Surfing the Internet in the house, I suddenly heard the aunt downstairs shouting with a loudspeaker: "The gay man in room 302 on the south side of the third floor, please don't throw your garbage out of the window and destroy the health of the community." After more than ten seconds, I heard my aunt shouting again: "The gay man in room 302 on the third floor, you don't need to stare at me, auntie, I haven't been afraid of anyone in the community!" ”
The White Lady was instructed by Guanyin, and the White Lady: "Bodhisattva, how can I find a benefactor." Bodhisattva: "Just remember that he is honest and honest, warm-hearted and kind, and his surname is Xu." A few days later, the White Lady finally found a kind-hearted son surnamed Xu, and stepped forward and asked excitedly: "Is Xianggong Xu Xian?" The man: "You recognize the wrong person, I am Xu Sanduo." ”
Just on the bus, a group of girls are looking at the old man, and the old man pretends to be calm and puts on all kinds of thoughts, showing all kinds of smiles that he thinks are charming. Looking at those beauties whispering, I'm already going to heaven. When I got out of the car, I passed by a beautiful woman, and she whispered to me, "Can't you see such a big lump of snot on your trouser leg?" ", let me die quietly...