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Li Dan's attitude towards marriage has always been fearful and full of disgust, and he feels that marriage should wait until he has to do it before considering it.
However, fate always plays cruel jokes, and that night, Li Dan proposed to his beloved girlfriend Kuroo-chan in a drunken and irrational state.
The night was hazy and the night breeze was cool, and the story began absurdly in the tavern they frequented, or in the apartment they rented together.
Li Dan stared at the sky dizzily, and said vaguely what he would not normally say: "Heiwei sauce, let's get married." His voice was full of drunken determination and determination.
Kuroo-chan was stunned. She knew how much Li Dan hated marriage, and this word almost became a minefield in his mouth. But at this moment, what she saw was a completely different Li Dan, a Li Dan whose thinking was paralyzed by alcohol.
She was full of contradictions: she was happy that her lover opened her mouth to propose, but she was also worried that this was not Li Dan's decision when she was sober.
Despite all his wits to stop it, love still triumphed. The moment after Kuroo-chan nodded tearfully, her eyes radiated a ray of hope, maybe she naively thought that this moment of nodding was a sign that Li Dan let go of the knot in her heart, maybe she was convinced that her love was enough to warm the fear in his heart.
However, reality is always cruel and unforgiving. The next morning, when the headache of hangover and memory fragments poured into Li Dan's brain, his first reaction was not joy, but deep remorse.
He sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands, his facial expression pained and indescribable. He thought back to the promises he had blurted out last night under the influence of alcohol, and now they had become a huge burden, weighing him down.
Li Dan fell into a long contemplation, his eyes drifted out of the window, as if he couldn't see anything. Perhaps at that moment, what he saw was that the freedom he had been seeking was being gradually taken away by a decision that he himself was not conscious of.
Suddenly, Heiwei Sauce walked in, and when she saw Li Dan's performances, she probably already knew it. But Heiwei Sauce didn't make a fuss or blame, but sat down quietly next to Li Dan and said in a soft tone: "I understand your dissatisfaction with marriage, but don't you always like to experience something in person?" If it really doesn't work, we can choose to get a divorce.
”。
This passage was like a gentle medicine, temporarily relieving Li Dan's inner anxiety. He thought that if he was really helpless, the idea of divorce was not impossible, and this thought gave Li Dan a little relief.
But at the same time, we can also feel the anticipation hidden in Kuroo-chan's words. She is willing to give this marriage a chance to save it, even if it ends up going to divorce.
Under the persuasion of Heiwei sauce, Li Dan reluctantly agreed. However, there was no joy in his eyes, but a fear of the unknown. At that moment, a voice in his heart shouted: "This is a mistake! Nevertheless, he entered the palace of marriage.
This is the cause of Li Dan and Heiwei Sauce's marriage, it was a drunken and indiscriminate decision, and he had to accept it after he sobered up. Looking back on the ending of this marriage, it seems that it has long been predestined.
As Li Dan said, "Marriage is such a thing, or wait until you have to think about it." However, fate had him unprepared and walked into the besieged city he least wanted to step into.
Preparations for the wedding are in full swing, and everyone feels that this is the happiest moment of their lives: choosing a wedding card, booking a banquet, and decorating a new home. But for Li Dan, all this is like a nightmare that cannot be escaped.
In the days leading up to the wedding, Li Dan's mood was as cloudy as the weather in Beijing. He sometimes sits quietly in the corner, staring vacantly at the red happy characters on the wall, as if those happy words are not symbols representing festivity, but heavy shackles.
He would sometimes suddenly become irritable and complain loudly into his phone, saying, "It's better to wait until you have to worry about such things." ”
The people around Li Dan noticed that something was obviously wrong with him. His friends were expecting to see a happy groom, but Li Dan always frowned, and there was no trace of joy on his face.
Someone even asked him if he was getting married or going to the guillotine, Li Dan reluctantly pulled the corners of his mouth, but the smile was more ugly than crying.
Kuroo-chan noticed Li Dan's abnormality. Every time she happily talked about the details of the wedding, Li Dan was always absent-minded and responded perfunctorily.
Kuro-chan's eyes often reveal a hint of worry, but she chooses to be silent. Maybe she has always believed in that naïve idea: as long as the two get married, Li Dan will slowly change and accept her.
The day of the wedding finally arrived, and the guests entered the wedding scene one after another, and the air was filled with a festive and joyful atmosphere, and the room was plastered with large and small red wedding letters.
However, the newcomer standing on the stage is a different scene: Kuroo-chan is barely smiling, but there is a hint of uneasiness hidden under that smile; Li Dan, on the other hand, was expressionless, as if this was not his wedding, but a performance he was forced to participate in.
It is said that the expressions of the bride and groom are often indicative of the future of this marriage. If this is really the case, then the marriage between Li Dan and Heiwei sauce is destined to be unhappy. However, at the time, no one was aware of this, or even if someone did, they chose to remain silent, unwilling to say something unlucky on this day of celebration.
Traditionally, after the wedding, the couple will have a grand wedding reception to invite family and friends to share the joy. However, the choice of Li Dan and Heiwei sauce is surprising again.
They did not hold a grand feast, nor did they receive noisy blessings, but sat together silently for three days and three nights, drunk and drunk.
This may be a kind of escape for Li Dan, who uses alcohol to numb himself and escape the upcoming married life. Or, it was his way of expressing his protest, declaring his heart's reluctance through this extreme "ritual".
Their three-day drunken dream and death seems to be a metaphor: their marriage began in a drunken state from the beginning, and the rest of their lives were basically spent in a drunken state.
Looking back on this wedding, every detail foreshadows the doomed end of this marriage. Under the word "happiness" is the heavy gloom of the groom, in the jubilant atmosphere is the uneasiness of the bride, and the three days of drunkenness are a silent sorrow for the future.
What kind of happy wedding is this, it is simply the beginning of a destined tragedy.
Li Dan's married life seems to be like a bird in a cage. What was once a free flight of wings can now only wander in a limited space. The stand-up comedian, who was eloquent and smiling brightly on stage, became taciturn, and his smile was covered with a layer of reluctance.
Li Dan's friends said privately: "How Li Dan got married is like a different person." "
Indeed, marriage seems to have completely changed Li Dan's face. His eyes, which had always shone with wit, now often revealed an indescribable sorrow. Even when performing, there is a helplessness in his jokes that is difficult to hide.
An audience commented: "Li Dan's jokes are still sharp, but I always feel that he is using laughter to vent some emotions." ”
Li Dan's change can be clearly reflected in his attitude towards the word "wife". In Chinese culture, "wife" is an intimate title that symbolizes deep love and a sense of belonging.
However, these two words are taboo for Li Dan that must never be mentioned. As soon as someone asks about his "wife", his face immediately becomes ugly, and he even feels physically uncomfortable as a result.
Li Dan bluntly said in an interview: "At most, I can only call her a spouse or family member, and I can't say the word 'wife'." As soon as I heard the word, I felt sick all over, as if something was stuck in my throat.
"。
This reaction has led to speculation as to whether the word "wife" symbolizes responsibility and bondage for this man who has always sought freedom.
What's even more poignant is that even in public, Li Dan rarely mentions his wife Heiwei sauce. Li Dan, who has used the deeds of Kuroo-chan many times on stage to create jokes and amuse thousands of spectators, now seems to deliberately avoid all topics that may involve her.
People have speculated whether the reality of marriage has made it impossible for him to hide his inner pain with humor.
However, what was really shocking was a fury of Li Dan in his new wedding year. It was an ordinary night, and it was quiet in the living room, and Kuroo-chan was sitting on the sofa, maybe reading a book, maybe just in a daze.
Suddenly, Li Dan suddenly broke in, his whole body seemed to be entangled by something invisible, and the pain and anger were clearly visible.
"You know what? I've really had enough! His voice was hoarse, and his eyes gleamed with despair. Every day when I wake up, all I see is this room, these furniture, this unchanging life.
I felt like I was going to suffocate! Li Dan's words are like sharp blades, and every sentence is like piercing the heart of the black tail sauce.
Heiwei Sauce, the woman who used to be able to calm Li Dan with a smile, could only sit quietly at this time, tears silently sliding down her cheeks.
In the aftermath of the storm, Li Dan became even more closed. He started staring into his phone so often that people thought he was creating new jokes, when in fact, he was recording heartbreaking words on his phone.
In a secret memo, Li Dan wrote: "Marriage plunged me into untold pain and rekindled my desire for death. I was filled with courage that the guilt I felt about my parents and loved ones because of my marriage was gone.
After reading this paragraph, we can't help but feel a chill. This man who once healed people with laughter now longs to escape marriage through death. Li Dan's pain is not because the black tail sauce is not good, but because of the system of marriage itself.
For him, marriage was like an invisible cage that tightly bound his soul and robbed him of his freedom.
Li Dan's story tells us that some people are not born to be bound by marriage. Their souls need the air of freedom and need to live without restraints. Shoehorning such a person into the framework of marriage is like putting a bird in a cage, it may be quiet for a while, but eventually it will lose the desire to sing, and even want to give up life.
Li Dan, a free soul imprisoned by marriage. His pain stems not only from the desire for freedom, but also from the despair of watching himself lose his true self little by little.
In this process, even the black tail sauce who loves him the most can't share it for him, because there are some shackles that love can't untie.
Li Dan and Heiwei sauce's love years, full of poetry and romance, began on the university campus. At that time, they were like the shoots of early spring, full of infinite hope and longing.
Li Dan, a talk show actor who later became famous for his sharp jokes, was a young literary young man who wrote many love poems for Heiwei sauce at that time, and his poems always made people's hearts beat faster.
"All living beings are bitter, but you are the only strawberry flavor." This poem, short and sweet, makes people seem to smell the breath of spring. There is also the sentence "They have many truths about love, but I have you", this sentence is like a declaration, among the many love theories, Li Dan chose the simplest but most precious: owning each other.
These verses bear witness to the depth and purity of their love.
In the process of Li Dan's ups and downs in his career and gradually becoming a "crazy person", Heiwei sauce has always been like a ray of sunshine, giving Li Dan warm and firm support, and this love is a kind of tenacious and gentle companionship.
She admires Li Dan's talent very much, and at the same time tolerates his fanaticism and persistence. Her love is like shelter in the wind and rain, a lighthouse when she is confused.
However, love is ultimately fragile in the face of reality. Marriage was supposed to be the sublimation of love and the beginning of the two of them shouldering responsibilities together, but for Li Dan and Heiwei Sauce, marriage was the last straw that crushed them.
The crux of the matter lies in Li Dan. The freedom he pursues is almost extreme, and in his values, career, self-expression, and even everything in the world are more important than his lover, Kuro-chan.
This attitude may be understood as personality in love, but in marriage, it becomes a contradiction that is difficult to reconcile.
In an interview, Li Dan inadvertently mentioned: "You know, for a while, I thought that completing a funny joke was more meaningful than celebrating an anniversary with Heiwei sauce." ”
As soon as the interviewer's words came out, the scene suddenly fell silent. He smiled awkwardly, trying to ease the tension, but anyone could hear the coldness in his words.
Li Dan is a person who takes freedom first, and marriage is like a shackle that binds freedom in his eyes. He could give everything for a minute of applause on stage, but he turned a deaf ear to Kuroo-chan's tears.
Once such a person is forced into the siege of marriage, their fate is destined to be tragic.
And Heiwei Sauce, her tragedy is that she loves Li Dan too much. At first, she thought that her love could melt the iceberg in Li Dan's heart and let him understand the warmth of home.
She began to pay attention to Li Dan's mood swings, intending to fill the hole in his heart with thoughtfulness and understanding. However, in the process, she did not realize that she had gradually lost herself and became an accessory of Li Dan.
The most heart-wrenching thing is that they lost themselves in the whirlpool of this marriage, and Kuro-chan lost her independent and radiant self, and became a shadow that only revolves around her husband.
Li Dan shouts all day long in pursuit of freedom, but he never sees the person who loves him deeply. Their relationship becomes a double torment: she suffers from the loss of herself, and he despairs with the loss of his freedom.
Looking back on their stories, we are full of emotion: love, sometimes beautiful to yearn for, but at the same time too fragile to bear. Li Dan and Heiwei Sauce, they love each other deeply, but they have never found a balance in their marriage.
Eventually, they lost each other and themselves. This marriage was like a beautiful mistake from the beginning, pushing the two hearts that loved each other step by step into the abyss of tragedy.
In the marriage story of Li Dan and Heiwei Sauce, the divorce seems to be a doomed ending, not a sudden decision, but more like a long and painful struggle, just like it takes time for a wound to heal.
In retrospect, Kuroo-chan had actually expected this ending a long time ago. Remember that night of a drunken proposal? At that time, she said: "If it doesn't work, we can choose to divorce."
This sentence seems to be an "escape door" she buried for herself. She knew Li Dan's disgust for marriage, and perhaps deep down, she had been waiting for this day to come.
Their life after their divorce was unexpectedly peaceful. They are not like other divorced couples, who are caught up in endless quarrels or cold wars, on the contrary, they become ordinary friends.
Sometimes they meet late at night for dinner and a drink, and at this moment they feel like they have regained the youthful feeling of their college days.
For Li Dan, divorce is like a new life, and the talk show actor who was overwhelmed by marriage finally came back to life. His eyes flashed with wit again, and the jokes on the stage became sharp and full of life.
After Li Dan's divorce, some people commented that he had regained his voice.
Kuroo-chan managed to find herself back in this divorce. She is no longer an accessory of Li Dan, but has once again become an independent woman. She began to devote herself to her career and enjoy her life.
She smiled again and stopped pushing herself for the sake of others.
Looking back on this marriage, we are deeply struck by the fact that sometimes, divorce does not mean failure, on the contrary, it can be a relief. As Li Dan said: "I am full of boredom and fear of marriage.
Marriage is undoubtedly a burden for a soul seeking freedom. Similarly, for an independent woman like Kuroo-chan, being an appendage to someone is not the life she expects to live.
Looking back at the story of Li Dan and Heiwei Sauce, we have to reflect: Are love and marriage really the same thing?
Li Dan once said: "I am full of disgust and fear of marriage. It's better to wait until you have to worry about something like getting married.
Every word he said revealed his fear of marriage. In his view, marriage is not the end of love, but the shackles of freedom, a fate he must face.
However, this does not mean that Li Dan does not understand love. The affectionate words he wrote for Kuroo-chan, "All living beings are suffering, only you are strawberry flavor", "They have many truths about love, but I have you", all tell his deep understanding of love.
Similarly, Kuroo-chan's love for Mr. Li Dan is also sincere and tenacious. She accompanied him through many difficulties and challenges, and was even willing to become a "crazy person" for him.
But deep love does not equate to marriage. Li Dan needs the freedom of creation and the space to think; Kuroo-chan needs to be independent and needs to be self-actualized.
Marriage requires them to compromise with each other and bind each other, which causes Li Dan to lose his passion for creation, and Heiwei Sauce to lose his self-brilliance.
Their marriage eventually led to divorce, not a tragedy, but an awakening. They recognize that some people, some love, are only suitable for love, not for marriage.
As Li Dan said: "For such a thing as marriage, it is better to wait until you are really forced to worry about it." ”
The love story of Li Dan and Heiwei sauce makes us realize that the misalignment between love and marriage often stems from a misunderstanding of the self. Understanding oneself and respecting each other is the key to maintaining a marriage relationship.
Sometimes, divorce is not a failure, but an act of courage, a reaffirmation of freedom and self.
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