Beware of "black hole friends" around your child and don't let them drain your child's energy

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2024-06-05 16:20Posted in Hebei Parenting Creators

As children grow up, friends become a very important part of the child's life, especially in adolescence, and the influence of peers is even greater than that of parents.

"Child Psychology" mentions: "What we know is that peer friendship does have a great influence on children, and after a certain age, it will gradually exceed the influence of parents on children." ”

Yaoyao's mother found that after the child went to junior high school, the change was a little big, she used to be lively and cheerful, but now she is full of resentment all day long, and every day when she comes back, she complains to her mother about her classmates, teachers, and school rules and regulations, and is full of complaints.

It wasn't until her daughter's new best friend came to play at home after she entered junior high school that Yaoyao's mother found the reason for her daughter's change. Yaoyao's new friend is a person who likes to complain a lot, and after playing at home for 3 hours, his mouth has been constantly complaining about all kinds of things, complaining about his parents, complaining about the school, and gossiping a lot about his classmates and teachers.

In just 3 hours, the home was full of negative energy and the air pressure was very low. After the friend left, Yaoyao's mother talked to her daughter very seriously, asking her daughter to keep a distance from this friend, and not allowing her daughter to continue to associate with people who were bursting with negative energy.

She tells her daughter that this friend is a typical "black hole friend" who will constantly suck the energy from you, leaving you exhausted and miserable. If there are these "black hole friends" around your child, remember to tell him to stay away.

1. Friends who like to gossip

Anyone who likes to speak ill of people and gossip about others must keep their distance.

Many times, children think that friends are willing to gossip with them, which means that the relationship between the two of us is strong enough. This perception is very wrong. You have to understand that a person who likes to gossip must not be strict in his mouth, today he can gossip with you, tomorrow he can gossip with others.

This kind of person likes to create contradictions to watch the excitement, and your unintentional complaint may be spread to the other party's ears the next day, dragging you inexplicably into various contradictions and disputes.

Your privacy, your thoughts, and your little secrets are all treated as jokes by him, not only will he not help you keep them, but he may use them to kill you at a certain moment when there is a conflict of interest with you.

So, a friend with a broken mouth is an invisible bomb next to you, and you don't know when it will explode and hurt you.

2. Friends full of negative energy

Writer Li Shanglong said: "As long as a person has more than one friend with negative energy around him, and he stays together every day, his life is basically wasted." ”

People who are full of negative energy are well-deserved "kings of black holes".

This kind of person treats you as an "emotional trash can" that can be vented, he keeps confiding in you his pain, dissatisfaction, and resentment, and he throws all his bad emotions and negative energy to you, pressing you out of breath, depressed, and depressed in your heart.

What's even more terrifying is that this kind of person likes to complain to you, but refuses your catharsis, if you want to talk to him, they will immediately change the subject, turn around and run, and don't care about you at all.

Tell your child that when you find your friend with you, you are always complaining, never be coerced by friendship, and turn away immediately.

3. Friends who like to hit people

Coco's mother found that her daughter was becoming less and less confident, and at one moment she said that she was too fat to lose weight, and at another time she said that her skin was too dark, and asked her mother how to turn white. When I was studying, I would sigh when I encountered a problem that I couldn't learn, "I'm really stupid, I can't learn at all." ”

Coco's mother felt very strange, and after in-depth communication with the teacher, she found that the problem was actually with her daughter's new tablemate. This tablemate especially likes to hit her daughter, and when her daughter wears a new skirt, she says that her daughter is too fat, has a thick waist and short legs, and is not good-looking. If her daughter didn't do well in math, she hit her daughter for being stupid, saying that her words were too ugly, her English pronunciation was inaccurate, and so on.

Constantly finding faults and all kinds of blows have worn out the child's self-confidence a little bit.

When there is such a friend who likes to hit people around the child, parents must be vigilant.

From a child's point of view, they will naively think that their friend is pointing out their shortcomings and helping them to correct them. Actually? This kind of person will make you lose the ability to think independently, become lost, and become unconfident through desperate brainwashing, so as to obtain spiritual pleasure and gain your own value.

Such a person has a wrong outlook and a dark heart, so he must be careful.

4. Friends who like to pull you down

There is a kind of child, as long as he sees others learning, he drags others to play all kinds of things, and does everything possible to prevent others from learning, and he secretly plays at home every day to learn.

This kind of person is too terrible, he is afraid that others will live better than himself, and once you are excellent and progressive, he will try his best to destroy you.

If you want to study, he will drag you to read novels and chase dramas; If you want to run and exercise, he will pull you to play with your phone, in short, as long as you want to improve, he will give you a discouragement and pull you off the horse.

This kind of person also likes to make small moves behind his back, he is amiable on the surface, but in fact he is extremely jealous, and his heart is insidious and cunning, he will secretly collect all kinds of information and privacy from you, hindering your growth.

There is a saying in Pi Rixiu's "Ear Motto" in the Tang Dynasty: "If you are near the virtuous, you will be smart, and if you are close to the foolish, you will be deaf." ”

People will influence each other, especially children whose three views and cognition have not been formed, and when they are with friends, what they gain may be the confidence and excellence brought by friendship, or they may be destroyed after being sucked by friendship.

As teacher Li Meijin said, "In the matter of children making friends, parents must be snobbish." "Parents must observe more changes in their children and friends around them, and guide their children to learn to distinguish friends, learn to reject friends, and have their own bottom lines and principles.

Don't let the child be coerced by the so-called friendship and be exhausted by those friends with ulterior motives.

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