To raise an independent child, it is enough to master these 3 skills!

Pediatrician Bao Xiulan

2024-05-23 20:00Published in the Chief Physician of Pediatrics, Peking Union Medical College Hospital, Shaanxi

In the animal world, the mother eagle will take the eaglets to the edge of the cliff after they are able to stand firmly, and push them off the cliff while they are not looking, so that the eaglets can practice flying in this way.

If the eaglets accidentally fall into a mountain stream, the mother eagle will take them back to practice repeatedly, knowing that they can only soar in the blue sky if they learn to fly alone.

For children, the same is true. Independence is a symbol of every child's maturity and self-discovery.

Family is the cradle of children's growth, but also the first classroom to cultivate their independent ability, set thousands of pampering and a body of children are mostly worry-free, but "food to open the mouth, clothes to stretch out" will only make them idle "giant baby, only let them learn the quality of independence, in order to be more confident and brave to face the future challenges.

To raise an independent child, it is enough to master these 3 skills!

So, how to cultivate children's independence?

1. Start small things and cultivate the ability to live independently

Great oaks from little acorns grow.. The ability to live independently often starts from the little things in life.

When children are young, the elders often say that "children are still young, so they don't have to do these things", so many children don't know how to dress themselves when they go to school, and they have to be chased and fed when they eat, let alone help the family with housework.

U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "It doesn't matter what kind of legacy we leave to our children, what matters is what qualities we leave to our children." ”

Therefore, he requires children to participate in housework from an early age, which not only allows children to learn to be independent, but also makes them understand the value of labor.

The ancients said: "If you don't sweep a house, how can you sweep the world?" "It is through these little things that children learn to take care of themselves and build a strong foundation for future challenges.

2. Be good at guiding and cultivating independent thinking ability

If you learn without thinking, you will be reckless, and if you think without learning, you will die. Cultivating children's ability to think independently is like creating a key for them to open the door to infinite possibilities in the future.

The traditional education model often makes our children good at doing paper answers, and it is easy to form a "only answer" fixed thinking in this mode, so parents should learn to guide their children to think when cultivating their children's ability to think independently, rather than giving answers directly.

For example, if the child is curious about "why the rainbow is seven colors", we first encourage the child to express his or her own opinion, regardless of whether the answer is mature or not, and give affirmation and support, so that the child can express himself more confidently. The child is then guided to think about the nature of the question and the possible answers.

For example, guide them to understand the principles of light reflection and refraction, and provide children with rich sources of information such as books and videos to help them broaden their horizons, get in touch with different perspectives, and cultivate a more open and independent way of thinking.

The story of the father and son in "Galaxy Cram School" is impressive, and the father Ma Haowen has always emphasized the importance of independent thinking in educating his son, encouraging his son to think for himself before finding a solution to the problem when facing confusion and difficulties.

When he was an adult, Ma Fei once lost contact with the earth when the aircraft malfunctioned during a space mission, but he did not panic or give up, but thought calmly, and finally successfully repaired the aircraft and returned to the earth.

It can be seen that in order to effectively cultivate children's independent thinking ability, the key is that parents or educators should be good at guiding.

3. Calmly face setbacks and cultivate the ability to face adversity independently

"The edge of the sword comes from the sharpening, and the fragrance of plum blossoms comes from the bitter cold", a manifestation of the child's lack of independence is that he cannot face failure correctly.

Nine times out of ten, life is unsatisfactory, and many children in modern society have psychological problems, the reason is that they do not have the ability to face difficulties independently. Everyone's life cannot be smooth sailing, and there will always be setbacks and failures. However, it is by bravely facing these setbacks and failures that we can grow from adversity, hone our ability to face difficulties on our own, and achieve self-growth.

Chris Gardner, the protagonist of the movie "When Happiness Knocks on the Door", still shows admirable tenacity and optimism in the face of multiple difficulties. When the landlady is squeezing the rent, when the job suddenly leaves, when the money in his pocket is empty, he has to take his son around looking for a place to stay. These predicaments were like mountains, and he was almost out of breath.

However, even in such a desperate situation, he still firmly told his son that no matter what difficulties he encountered, he must face them with an optimistic attitude. Chris Gardner proved to his son with his practical actions that no matter how difficult life is, he must believe that happiness will eventually come.

This story encourages children to maintain a positive attitude in the face of setbacks, so that they understand that they can only see rainbows if they have experienced storms.

In life, when children encounter learning difficulties, we can encourage them to think more and try more; When they have relationship problems, we can teach them how to communicate and how to understand others. In this way, children can gradually learn to face setbacks and failures and become more resilient and independent.

Cultivating children's independence is like sowing a field, parents need to have the patience to cultivate in spring and autumn, give the warmest care and companionship day after day, guide children's young hearts, ignite their inner fire, and encourage them to explore the unknown territory of life alone.

Only by letting their wings soar independently can they have a blue sky that belongs to them in the future. Only in this way can they take every step of their life journey more confidently and meet every challenge in life independently.

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