Yu Hua said: "When we treat the world fiercely, the world suddenly becomes gentle. ”
In life, kindness must be limited, and forbearance cannot be blind.
When you are forced to a certain extent, you always have to learn to turn your face.
Show your minions so that you won't be bullied!
1
Past hurts, refusing to forgive
Confucius said: How can we repay virtue if we repay grievances with virtue?
If someone hurts you, you easily forgive him.
It will become "appeasement and adultery", which may cause even worse consequences.
When writer Bi Shumin was 11 years old, she participated in the school choir competition.
Because of his out-of-tune singing, he was scolded by the teacher in public for "a rat poop spoiled a pot of soup".
She was ordered to lip-sync only and not make a sound when singing in chorus.
Bi Shumin never dared to sing again, and was even afraid to speak in public.
It wasn't until I studied psychology that I gradually got rid of the shadow of my childhood.
Someone said, "She should be grateful to this teacher, otherwise she wouldn't be where she is now." ”
But Bi Shumin herself refused to accept this statement.
In her work, she wrote: "The scars are still scorched and green smoke decades later. ”
The damage caused by past memories is still a knot in her heart today.
Between people, it is always mutual.
If others treat me well, I will also give back with kindness; If others don't treat me well, I have to stay away in time.
The heart is too soft, and it is easy to be pinched as a soft persimmon; The heart eye is too good, and it is easy to be seen as a lack of heart eyes.
If you are so good that you have no reservations, the other party will dare to be so bad that you are unscrupulous.
2
Others don't have to be reluctant to ask for help
As the saying goes: Raising rice to raise grace, fighting rice to raise hatred.
Everyone's life is not easy, don't let yourself be wronged in order to fulfill others.
When Mo Yan was a child, his family's economic conditions were not very good.
Only during the Chinese New Year is willing to make dumplings once.
Even so, because there are many people and little food, each person is given a few.
One year, as soon as the dumplings came out of the pot, the old man begging smelled the smell and came to the door.
Mo Yan couldn't bear to let the old man go home empty-handed, so he served him half a bowl of sweet potatoes.
Who knew that the old man was dissatisfied with the sweet potatoes in the bowl, and said disgustedly: "Your family eats dumplings, but let me eat sweet potatoes as an old man, how do your hearts grow?" ”
Mo Yan replied angrily: "It's just this meal of dumplings all year round, and our family can't even eat half full, so it's good to give you sweet potatoes!" ”
Helping others is a good thing, but it also needs to be done within your means.
If you are beyond your ability or tolerance, don't slap your swollen face and become fat.
Not only will it make you feel stressed, but it may also fuel greedy desires.
3
Useless socializing, timely stop loss
Chen Zhongzhong said: "Friends should be cut down and simplified. ”
There are 3,000 friends of wine and meat, so it is better to have one or two close friends.
Those useless relationships with false feelings should be broken and stopped in time.
Yue Yunpeng has a good friend, and the two grew up together since childhood and are almost inseparable.
Even though he has become a household name, he still responds to his friends' needs.
Once, a friend asked him to borrow money, saying that the child needed it urgently for school.
Yue Yunpeng didn't say a word, and immediately transferred 20,000 yuan.
He also said that it is important for children to go to school, and there is no need to pay back the money in a hurry.
Who knew that it didn't take long for my friend to move out and borrow money from Yue Yunpeng for various reasons.
Sometimes his wife is sick, sometimes his children are sick again.
As time went by, the amount of money borrowed by friends became larger and larger, but there was no mention of repayment.
An insider told Yue Yunpeng: "This guy made a fortune out of nowhere, and he plays cards with people all day long." ”
Only then did Yue Yunpeng understand that this so-called friend was just treating himself as an "ATM".
After discovering this, Yue Yunpeng directly transferred 10,000 yuan.
became a "buyout fee" for friendship, and the two broke off completely.
Your time and energy are expensive and should be reserved for those who are sincere.
Those who can share both your joys and sorrows with you are the ones you should cherish for the rest of your life.