The original partner's self-report: After solving the extramarital affair, why did you still choose to divorce?
After each was cheated on, although the extramarital affair was resolved, it was still a very painful original wife.
We should all learn to treat ourselves in a way that is harmful, rather than letting ourselves suffer.
Leaving some people is not because there is no benefit in continuing to be together
It's because with them, you're not in a good state,
If the other person easily excites your vulnerability, anxiety and insecurity,
And you can't change yourself and not have negative emotions because of this person's words and deeds.
The other party will not change because of your pain and find a way to make you less painful.
Then leaving is the best choice, and the most important thing in your life should be yourself.
Previously, an original partner said that when she was cheated, she only wanted to get back the cheating man.
Because the two have been in love for five years and married for seven years, she has true feelings for the cheating man.
The man cheated when he was pregnant with his second child, and after he was discovered, he kept saying that it was because of physiological needs.
The original partner also recognized the cheating man's statement, thinking that the man was just cheating physically,
plus the chat records that the cheating man showed to the original partner, they are all small three-know-it-three-do-three, very active content.
So the original partner thinks even more that the cheating man still loves her,
It's just that the junior took advantage of it, and the cheating man didn't control himself.
This original partner chose to forgive and wanted to live a good life with a cheating man.
But what about reality? A man's cheating has never been just a matter of juniors.
It's the cheating man's own choice, how can a man who can cheat still have true feelings for his wife?
This original partner also slowly learned this truth after solving the extramarital affair.
After the man returned, he didn't have anything to do with the mistress.
But I've never been very honest, and I'm chatting ambiguously on the Internet at every turn.
If it weren't for the strict management of the original piping, the cheating man would definitely cheat again.
The reason why there is no second derailment is that there is no chance, and I don't want to offend the original partner for the time being.
So the original partner had expectations for marriage and cheating men at the beginning.
felt that the cheating was just an accident, and the extramarital affair ended, and the relationship between the two people was able to recover as before.
But again and again I found that the cheating man was chatting ambiguously with other women,
The cheating man is dissatisfied with the behavior of the original partner checking the mobile phone, and even after making a big noise.
The original partner slowly accepted the reality that this man didn't love her anymore.
If the original pair of marriage needs, just this man loves her,
The needs of the cheating man are only emotional needs,
The original spouse has a good financial situation and stability, which can support the income of living after the divorce.
And the mother's family is also powerful, which can provide certain help to divorced women.
The original partner chose to divorce and stop loss, instead of continuing to live with a cheating man,
It may be more beneficial to the original partner because it is more beneficial than continuing the marriage.
I constantly found that men were ambiguous and had cheating thoughts, and I couldn't stop them from being cheated on in the end.
The original match is painful again and again, and in the end you still have to make a choice,
It's better to make a choice at the beginning and avoid the pain that is bound to happen.
Many women's sobriety starts when they don't love anymore.
Because I've been hurt too many times, I have consumed my love for the cheating man,
After you don't love it, you know that you are the most important, and it is most important to find a way to keep yourself from suffering.
Therefore, many original partners do not choose to divorce when they find out that a man is cheating.
It's not that in the process of solving the extramarital affair, there has been no effect, and it can't be solved and divorced.
Instead, it completely solved the extramarital affair and found that the essence of cheating is that the cheating man has a problem.
You can't solve the essential problem of cheating men, and you don't want to be miserable all the time.
So I chose to divorce the stop loss, and there is nothing wrong with this choice.
If the cheating man has hope and can live a good life with his original partner,
The original partner was not heartbroken, and there is still the possibility of happiness in the marriage, and the original partner will most likely not divorce.
But it is clear that this cheating man is hopeless.
It is likely that the original partner will continue to be married, or even more painful.
So choosing divorce is to stop loss, is to jump out of the fire pit, what is wrong with this choice?
Burrell Markham has a classic quote about leaving in "Flying West at Night":
If you have to leave a place, a place where you've lived, loved, buried deep in all your past,
Whatever way you leave, don't leave slowly, leave as decisively as you can,
Never look back, and never believe that the past is better because they are gone.
If leaving is for you, it is a relief from suffering.
Don't hesitate because of the happy times you once had, and the happy life you fantasized about in the future.
There are some departures, some renunciations, which are necessary for your whole life.
Don't succumb to a painful marriage, trust that you can always be happy, that your happiness is not here, it's there.
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I'm Jiaxin, a marriage defender who focuses on the separation of third parties.