In this fast-paced modern life, many couples often ignore the essence of marriage in their pursuit of novelty and passion.
Therefore, when their marriage encounters challenges, they often choose to give up lightly and use divorce as a means to solve the problem.
Today, I would like to give a word of advice to all couples: don't divorce easily, really.
Here's why:
01
The freshness and excitement are only temporary
In the early stages of a relationship, we are always attracted to the novelty of each other, and we are intoxicated by the experience and passion that we have never had before.
However, as time goes on, the novelty fades and the passion becomes more and more dull. This is not to say that love no longer exists, but that it has changed from a passionate passion to a deep affection and friendship.
So, in marriage, we need to learn to adapt to this transformation, rather than blindly pursuing novelty and passion. Because, true love can stand the test of time, it needs heat, depth, and more importantly, tolerance and understanding from both parties.
In other words, what can really support the longevity of a marriage is not short-term passion, but mutual understanding, tolerance and support.
02
The cost of remarrying after a divorce is too high
Many people believe that they can start a new life after a divorce and find a better partner. However, they often overlook the huge cost of remarrying after divorce.
First of all, divorce itself takes a lot of time, effort, and money. Whether it is lawyer fees, litigation fees, or division of property, raising children, etc., it takes a lot of effort to solve.
Second, remarriage does not necessarily mean that you will be able to find a better partner. In a new marriage, you will also have to face various problems and challenges, and you may even encounter many more.
In addition, remarriage also requires re-establishing a foundation of trust and affection, which requires more time and effort. Therefore, when deciding whether or not to divorce, we should carefully consider these costs and weigh the pros and cons.
So, it is not so easy for both men and women to remarry, especially with children. If it's a man, it's even more difficult, although it's a remarriage, but the bride price, house, car, etc. must be there, right? It is said that it is difficult for halfway couples to have one mind, and you have paid so much economic cost for remarriage, what if you divorce again?
03
Most marriages are improvised, and they all have to go through the same run-in
In fact, the "marriage is all improvised" here does not mean that the marriage is not of quality or not worth cherishing. On the contrary, it speaks volumes about the authenticity and universality of marriage.
In marriage, we can't always be perfect, and we can't always be passionate and fresh. On the contrary, we will encounter various problems and contradictions, and we will need to run in and adapt to each other. And this process of running-in and adaptation is one of the most precious parts of marriage.
Through this process, we learned how to better understand and tolerate each other, and how to better deal with problems and contradictions. This experience not only makes us more mature and strong, but it also makes our marriage stronger and more durable.
In life, we often hear the older generation say, "To live is to make do." In this way, the word "improvised" often represents a compromise. But compromise doesn't mean compromise, sometimes it's just about finding a balance between the other person and yourself.
04
Of course, going through a run-in in a marriage is not an easy thing to do. It requires us to have enough patience and courage to face various problems and challenges. However, as long as we are willing to put in the effort and time, we will definitely be able to get through this difficult time.
I once read such a sentence, and I was very touched:
"An imperfect partner may be able to achieve a different kind of perfection."
Because the true meaning of marriage is not to pursue perfection, but to find wholeness in imperfection.
Therefore, we should not be fooled by the superficial freshness and passion, but should cherish the person in front of us more and cherish every day spent with him.
Of course, except for people who encounter betrayal, domestic violence, and gambling, there are some other minor problems, and you really don't have to leave decisively, but try to run in and accept, so that the marriage can be happier and happier.