introduction
In a quiet small village, Old Man Zhang and Grandma Wei are an old couple who have been together for many years.
They support each other, love each other, and live a plain and happy life.
One day, Old Man Zhang sat in the courtyard to enjoy the shade, enjoying the spring breeze and the warmth of the sun.
He closed his eyes, as if caught in a deep memory.
Grandma Wei, as usual, was busy preparing lunch in the kitchen.
She felt a little strange, because usually at this time, Old Man Zhang would come to help cook together.
So, she put down the work in her hand and went to the courtyard to find Old Man Zhang.
When she saw Old Man Zhang sitting there quietly, motionless, her heart tightened suddenly.
She stepped forward and gently shook the old man's shoulders, only to find that his body was cold and stiff.
Grandma Wei burst into tears, she couldn't accept this cruel truth, and her wife left her like this.
Grandma Wei decided to give Old Man Zhang a funeral so that he could walk decently.
Her children, however, objected to her decision.
They believe that the funeral of a husband and wife is an unlucky thing that will bring bad luck to the family.
The elders in the village also persuaded Grandma Wei one after another, and also moved out of the old tradition in the village, "If the husband and wife do not send a funeral, the funeral will suffer", wanting her to give up this idea.
Grandma Wei's heart was full of pain and helplessness, she knew the worries and concerns of her children and elders, but she couldn't accept letting Old Man Zhang leave this world alone.
Although Grandma Wei repeatedly emphasized that she wanted to go to the funeral, her children were in the way, and Grandma Wei still failed to get her wish.
The funeral procession assembled at the other end of the village, ready to go.
Grandma Wei could only stand in the courtyard from a distance, watching the team gradually move away.
Her tears flowed incessantly, and her heart was filled with endless sadness and regret.
She knew that from now on, she could only face this empty home alone, reminiscing about the bits and pieces she spent with Old Man Zhang.
But she also believes that no matter how far apart life and death are, the relationship between her and Old Man Zhang will never change.
Can old traditions be trusted?
The incident of Old Man Zhang and Grandma Wei also made us reflect on the old tradition, "If husband and wife do not send funerals, funerals will suffer", is there any basis for them, why don't the older generation give their partners funerals? What terrible thing will happen if there is a funeral?
1. The funeral may cause the living to leave with it
If one of the elderly couples dies and the other party goes to the funeral, it is likely that their lives will not be long.
In real life, it is not uncommon for the other half to leave one after another after the death of the wife.
Some people say that because the person who left was reluctant to leave the other person alone in the world, they would take him away.
In our village, there is a long-standing folk tale about a loving old couple.
The old grandmother's name is Sun Guihua, and the old grandfather's name is Yang Guihua, and the two of them have gone through ups and downs in their lives hand in hand, regardless of poverty or illness, they have supported each other and never left each other.
Osmanthus is a kind and hardworking person, she is always enthusiastic to help her neighbors in the village, while Lao Yang is a taciturn old man.
Every time he went out, Lao Yang always silently followed behind Osmanthus, as if he was her shadow.
The years are not forgiving, and the old osmanthus body is getting worse day by day, and finally passed away in a cold winter.
Her departure left the whole village in a state of sadness, and everyone missed the old man who loved to laugh very much.
But the saddest thing is Lao Yang, from the moment Osmanthus left, he became more and more silent, and even guarded Osmanthus Coffin, refusing to leave half a step.
On the third night after Osmanthus died, Lao Yang came to his wife's coffin as usual to keep a vigil.
However, the next morning, everyone found that Lao Yang was lying in the coffin with Osmanthus, and everyone touched it and found that Lao Yang had also passed away.
After the news spread in the village, it caused a lot of sensation.
Many people say that this is because Lao Yang misses osmanthus too much, so he decided to follow in her footsteps and go to another world to reunite with her.
Some people also said that it was Osmanthus who was reluctant to let Lao Yang go, so he took him away.
As for the reason is unknown, this story has been circulated in the village for a long time and has become a good story in the mouths of the people.
Whenever someone mentions this loving old couple, they sigh at their deep affection and attachment to each other.
The old man will die with his wife, which is not simply a superstitious statement, from a medical point of view, the departure of the wife often makes the living person suffer huge psychological trauma.
Once a person is psychologically harmed, it can easily lead to a mental breakdown, resulting in depression, anxiety, etc.
These psychological problems further exacerbate their physical burden and lead to a gradual deterioration of their health, which is an important reason for the shortness of life of the living.
Of course, children naturally don't want to lose both parents at the same time, and in order to avoid the living relatives not being able to think about it, the children don't want them to go to the funeral of their wives, for fear that something bad will happen.
2. The funeral may make the deceased unable to leave with peace of mind
Folk superstitious elders believe that after the death of their spouses, their souls will wander in the world for a period of time to see the people they thought about before they died.
If the deceased is allowed to see their reluctant wife, they will be reluctant to leave, so they will not be able to enter reincarnation, and can only become a lonely ghost in the world.
However, from a scientific point of view, the nostalgia of the deceased is nothing more than people's imagination, and there is no evidence to prove its authenticity.
However, it can also be seen from this superstitious concept that people's attachment and reluctance to family affection always want to keep the deceased in some way, even if it is an ethereal soul, at least it can make the living have some emotional sustenance.
3. Funeral may cause secondary injuries to the body of the living
In the funeral process, the elderly often need to stand and walk for a long time, and even need to bear a certain amount of psychological pressure.
However, due to the decline in physical functioning, they often find it difficult to bear such a burden.
Some older people may fall due to physical exhaustion, which can lead to more serious health problems.
This not only brings safety hazards to the funeral activities, but also creates an additional psychological burden for other participants.
Therefore, for the sake of the old man's body, the old tradition of "husband and wife do not send funerals" was established.
A few years ago, I read a report that there was an old man who insisted on giving his wife a funeral despite his family's opposition, but he fell halfway and was admitted to the hospital.
The old man's wife died of illness, and the old man missed her very much, and after holding a funeral for his wife, the sons found someone to carry the coffin to the mountain to bury their mother.
The old man was reluctant to let his wife go alone, and wanted to see her off.
But the son said that the mountain road was rough and difficult to walk, so let the father stay at home.
The old man didn't listen, so he had to go, so the old man followed the funeral procession step by step with a cane.
There are unpredictable circumstances in the sky, and people have good and bad luck.
On the way to the funeral, suddenly dark clouds appeared, and in the blink of an eye, it began to rain heavily.
The mountain road, which was already difficult to walk, became even more muddy, and at this time, the old man accidentally stepped on a loose stone, and the whole person lost his balance and fell to the ground.
He felt a sharp pain coming from all over his body, but he gritted his teeth and tried to get up and move on.
After the wife was buried, the old man went to the hospital for examination, and there was nothing serious, only a slight sprain, and he needed to rest for three months before he could recover.
Many people in the village said that the old man would not let you go to see off his wife, but you didn't listen, look, now you are unlucky to fall and get injured!
Every time he heard this, the old man didn't think so, he thought to himself, a lifelong husband and wife, if you don't send it, I'm so sorry for my wife, and I have regrets in my heart.
The modern concept of the funeral of husband and wife
For the traditional old people with conservative thoughts, "if the husband and wife do not send a funeral, the funeral will suffer" This is a rule left by the ancestors, which cannot be changed easily.
As for the reason why the ancients had this idea, it was mainly due to the backward thinking at that time, and people were generally superstitious about the power of ghosts and gods, believing that people would become ghosts after death, which would have a bad impact on the living.
However, in modern society, with the progress of science and technology and the change of people's ideological concepts, this traditional concept has gradually faded.
Even many young couples think that when their partner leaves and does not send a send, they are really ashamed of the friendship between two people.
And young people generally believe that the so-called bad luck is nothing more than people's blind dreams and worries.
Whether the elderly want to give their partners a funeral, in fact, they should not only listen to the words of their ancestors, but also ask their hearts more, if they really want to send their spouses a ride, it is not impossible.
As children, although they are worried about the health of the elderly, they should also take care of the psychology of the elderly, try their best to meet the wishes of the elderly, and avoid making the elderly regret for life.
Because the elderly are prone to accidents when giving funerals to their spouses, in order to allow the elderly to fulfill their wishes, many regions have launched funeral services specially designed for the elderly.
These services include the provision of special vehicles to take the elderly to the cemetery and the provision of necessary medical services to better cope with the physical discomfort of the elderly during the funeral process.
In addition, in order to alleviate the psychological damage caused by the departure of your partner to the elderly, as a child, you can also take time to spend more time with your elders and take them to do some outdoor activities.
First, it can distract the attention of the elderly and make them forget about sad things for a short time;
secondly, it can also let the elderly see different scenery and change their emotions;
I believe that with the help of their children, the elderly can also get out of their grief as soon as possible and welcome a new life.
Of course, in the process of accompanying and caring for the elderly, we also need to pay attention to some details.
For example, respect their opinions and choices, and don't force them to do things they don't like; Let the elderly face the next life happily!