As the saying goes, "Girls grow up and change a lot, and become more and more beautiful and moving". This is a compliment to the changes in the appearance of girls as they grow up. But parents should also be mindful that as girls get older, their self-esteem grows. If not properly guided, the girl may become vain and always want to show that she is superior to others. They may prefer to compare their appearance, or to show off their dress, or to talk about their parents' social status.
Vanity is actually a kind of unrealistic and blind pursuit of psychology. It usually arises because of a craving for material things. Studies have found that about one in five only children have a strong sense of vanity, and this mentality affects girls more than boys. Once girls have vanity, they may lose their minds and lose their minds about important things and lose their priorities. When they grow up, when choosing a love partner and future partner, they may pay more attention to external factors such as each other's appearance and material conditions, and ignore the more important internal conditions such as the other person's character, cultivation, talent and personality.
For example, Zhang Jie, she is only 12 years old, but she has to pursue famous brands when she wears clothes. If her mother doesn't buy it for her, she will cry and fuss, feel that she will lose face if she doesn't wear a famous brand, and she won't even go to school. In fact, the conditions of Zhang Jie's family are average, but in order to satisfy their daughter, her parents had to sew brand-name trademarks on the clothes they bought to coax her. Zhang Jie didn't know whether it was true or not, and every time she happily went to school, she felt very face-saving.
In life, many parents have encountered such a situation: children often dress up with their classmates, buy things to pursue famous brands, and ask their parents to drive to and from school. If the parent's car is not "premium" enough, the child will also feel faceless. One mother said, "The head teacher invited parents to the party, but my daughter didn't let me go, saying that I didn't have a job and was not decent." She wanted her aunt, who was a reporter, to go, and told her aunt to drive there. She's only in the third grade, so vain, what can she do in the future? ”
If a child has vanity, parents must have a headache, right? But let's be honest, children's vanity often comes from home education. Now there are many only children, and some parents are afraid that their daughter will be wronged, so they will respond to her needs. In particular, some parents do not pay attention to their daughters' inner cultivation, but like to compare themselves with others materially. They feel that their daughter's food and clothing cannot be worse than others, and that other people's children have it, and their own children must also have it, and they must not be compared. With this indulgence, the girl's desire will grow bigger and bigger, and the negative energy far exceeds the positive energy.
In addition, some parents themselves are also vain, and in order to show their financial strength and their daughter's difference, they will do everything they can. For example, in order to attend her daughter's parent-teacher conference, a mother spent two hours just applying makeup, and she even went to do beauty treatment.
How can such parents teach children with a healthy mentality? The English educator Bacon said, "The vain man is despised by the wise, subjugated by the foolish, worshipped by the sycophant, and finally enslaved to his vanity." Therefore, once it is found that the child has signs of vanity comparison, parents must stop it in time.
Usually, it is a gradual process for a girl to go from normal vanity to excessive admiration vanity. In the process, they will show some obvious signs, such as becoming more and more concerned about their appearance, being particularly picky about clothes, stationery, etc., and starting to complain that their parents cannot meet her various material requirements. Parents should be vigilant when they find their children having these behaviors.
In order to curb this kind of vanity comparison, parents can try "roundabout tactics". You can talk to your daughter peacefully and ask her, "What do the parents of the top students in your class do?" "Who is your favorite classmate?" "What do you think are the strengths and weaknesses of Mom and Dad?" "Are you satisfied with our family's current life?" These questions are actually guiding her daughter to realize that even if her life is ordinary, her parents love her very much; Her friends value her character and character more than her family. Communicating with your daughter in this way can subtly express your ideas and help her reflect on and correct her mistakes in time.
At the same time, tell your daughter: having a famous brand and money does not mean high status; Just because you're famous doesn't mean people will respect you. Only the wealth and status obtained by one's own efforts and achievements are worthy of learning and admiration from others.
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