#头条创作挑战赛#
The old proverb warns us: "If a woman is worried about marrying a woman, happiness will not last forever." ”
In women's pursuit of lasting happiness, in addition to personal struggle, the quality and character of their partners are equally important.
Choose the right partner, life is like a boat sailing down the river, and the blessings will continue; If you make a wrong choice, you may step into a thorny road and be full of haze.
However, the human heart is as deep as the sea, how to gain insight into true love and avoid emotional loss?
Here, as a matter of experience, I would like to offer three prudent suggestions to ladies who are about to enter the palace of marriage:
Men with these three qualities, even if they are considerate, need to think twice before marrying, so as not to regret their mistakes in the future and regret them for life.
Remember, marriage is not child's play, it is an important decision in life.
In the face of love, both reason and emotion can grasp true happiness.
A man with a strong desire to control
In "You Shall Be Like a Bird Flying to Your Mountain", Tara profoundly points out: "If love becomes an excuse to control and change others, its essence is distorted. ”
The essence of true love is, first and foremost, respect, not restraint.
There is such a video that is thought-provoking:
Late at night, the woman was shocked to find that her boyfriend was flipping through her mobile phone without permission, and the shock and disappointment were mixed, and an argument broke out;
Soon, she discovered that her short skirt and even short-sleeved clothes had mysteriously disappeared, all of which were hidden by her boyfriend;
At the company dinner, in order to avoid her boyfriend's worries, she chose to keep it secret, but he appeared on his own, and even used the mobile phone monitoring record to ask: "When will you return home?" ”；
Apologies have become a cycle of empty words, but the behavior has become more and more excessive. Her boyfriend's desire to control suffocates her.
Recalling the first acquaintance, the boyfriend pursued passionately, and the flowers and gifts continued, who would have expected that the picture after falling in love would be so different!
In reality, it is not uncommon for a man in a video to try to manipulate his partner by various means:
They often use "for your own good" as a shield to monitor, restrict, and even impose their personal will, and the core is nothing more than to make the other party comply.
Such people are narrow-minded, full of selfishness in their bones, regard their partners as private and fully manipulated.
If women are trapped in this situation, freedom is hard to find.
In the face of a controlling partner, women need to stay rational and not be fooled by sugar-coated shells.
Once you notice that something is wrong, you should make a decision immediately, avoid unnecessary entanglement, and withdraw in time.
A man with cold and violent tendencies
In the emotional world, the biggest threat is often not quarrels and noises, but quiet indifference.
The Cold War is a kind of emotional ice, which makes enthusiasm disappear silently, and makes both sides in a dilemma, gradually breeding the idea of giving up.
Men who tend to deal with problems with cold violence do not seek open communication with their partners to solve problems when confronted with conflicts, but instead adopt avoidance, distancing, and silence, often ignoring their partners even when they try to talk.
My friend Alain is going through such a relationship, and her partner Dalin always chooses to go cold after the argument and does not communicate with Alain for several days in a row, unless Alain takes the initiative to break the ice.
Alain said that the long silence was unbearable for her, and in such cases, it was often her who took the first step towards reconciliation, and Dalin's response was often just a cold "um".
This behavior makes Alain deeply frustrated and angry, and she is confused by the motives of Dalin's actions, and she does not know how to deal with such a mode of getting along, and her life is overshadowed by depression.
Although he considered breaking up several times, Alan thought of Dalin's usual reliability and kindness to her, and fell into hesitation.
Conventional wisdom tells us that "living at home inevitably involves stumbling." ”
In intimate relationships, occasional arguments are another form of communication, and there is nothing wrong with that.
However, if every disagreement ends in cold violence, this will not only not help resolve the problem, but will accelerate the cooling of the emotion, and even the eventual breakdown.
In love, the real test is not what happens, but how the other person's feelings are respected and understood.
Cold violence is tantamount to an invisible blade, it may not leave traces on the body, but it can deeply pierce the soul and make people feel spiritual frustration and despair.
Therefore, in the face of a partner who is accustomed to cold violence, no matter how well he usually behaves, women should carefully consider whether to enter into marriage.
Because this attitude of avoiding problems and not being willing to take responsibility head-on is likely to indicate that he is not a reliable lifelong partner.
Unmotivated men
In a discussion on the Daily public account of Qingteng Love, an anonymous woman shared her dilemma:
Although her boyfriend is infinitely gentle and caring in life, he lacks ambition in his career, which makes her fall into deep thinking about whether she should break up.
She admits that deep down she feels unbearable for her partner's lack of progress. The boyfriend's salary is meagre and content with the status quo, and the preferred home life becomes a source of contention.
Her resentment and anger were frequent, and her emotional balance wavered.
However, the emotional bond made it difficult for her to let go.
This man is handsome, loyal, and caring in her daily life, and the figure of waiting at home every night has become a reason for her reluctance.
But considering that the financial burden is mainly borne by her, the sustainability of her future life has become a hidden worry, and the idea of breaking up keeps emerging.
Survey responses show a clear divergence:
One party advocates breaking up, fearing that future economic pressure will erode emotions, believing that only gentleness is not enough to support real life;
The other party supports continuing, emphasizing that self-motivation is not the only criterion for success, and the male protagonist can also create a warm home.
Personally, I prefer to support a breakup, based on the following considerations:
First and foremost, physical attraction is difficult to sustain a relationship.
Over time, the charm of appearance will eventually fade. What really makes a man shine is his broad knowledge, elegant conversation, and unique temperament - qualities that are often difficult to nurture in home life.
Second, excessive "honesty" may imply a lack of progress.
In this era of rapid change, "comfort" is often accompanied by "stagnation".
If the two sides drift apart on the road of growth, the lack of common language and emotional alienation will become a problem that cannot be ignored.
Finally, responsibilities in marriage are not only about housework and sweet talk.
The real responsibility is to carry the heavy responsibility of the family on our shoulders, regard the career as the cornerstone of family happiness, and make unremitting efforts.
Lack of motivation is like planting a time bomb in your marriage, the potential destructive power of which is difficult to estimate.
Therefore, it may be a wise choice for women who seek stability and happiness to avoid the burdens of life in the future and distance themselves from a partner who lacks enterprising spirit.
Choosing the best is better than blindly struggling.
Whether it's a career journey or a partner, this rule is the golden rule.
Renovation projects after marriage are often exhausting and laborious.
The wise thing to do is to take the initiative in the first place, so that you can save a lot of twists and turns.
If you are unfortunate enough to make a mistake, it is especially important to make a decision immediately.
Once you realize that you are not trusted, you should withdraw as soon as possible, avoid endless compromises, and do not have illusions about changing the other party.
Women are like flowers, looking forward to the nourishment of their partners, but self-choice is as important as responsibility.
Discerning and meticulous screening before marriage can effectively avoid the ups and downs of the road ahead.
I hope that every woman can meet the destined person in the good period of fate, snuggle up to each other, and draw a long scroll of happy life together.