Commentator: Qiu Yanbo
Marriage is not a transaction, but a meeting of two hearts.
According to Southern Weekly, more than 300,000 bloody salutes in Daliang Mountain, Sichuan, caused two lives. The man's family did not have enough money, so he borrowed more than 100,000 yuan and borrowed all over the village to get together enough for a bride price of 368,000 yuan.
Although the local government has implemented a policy of changing customs and stipulating that the bride price shall not exceed 100,000 yuan, it is difficult for the policy to shake the deep-rooted customs and habits. Afterwards, the woman repented of the marriage. In the marriage customs of the Yi people, once the engagement ceremony is held, both parties must not go back.
The party who repents will pay the price for the breach of contract: the amount of compensation for the other party is higher than the bride price as a punishment. However, the woman's parents thought that the two parties had already lived together, and were only willing to return 330,000 yuan, promising to return 330,000 yuan to the man immediately when the woman married the second wife and received the second bride price. However, when returning, the woman's parents wanted to deduct another 100,000 yuan on the grounds that the woman had left a few pieces of clothing in the man's house, which later became 150,000 yuan. The two sides collapsed, and the man's father and son killed the woman's parents.
This tragedy originated from "fighting". The original bride price was a patchwork, and the marriage of a man and a woman was also an emotionless patchwork. The woman's parents did not realize that money was the life of the poor, and when they did not return the bride price for various reasons, death was slowly approaching. If the man doesn't repay the loan and borrow money to put together the bride price, he will be desperate. This is the tragedy of "fighting".
Correspondingly, another kind of "spelling" is becoming popular in Shanghai. Men and women "Pinduoduo" in marriage.
Marriage house Pinduoduo: The marriage house is purchased by both parties at the joint expense, which can be paid in full or mortgaged, but both parties bear it together, instead of putting all the pressure on the man or woman (often the man), which also means that the mother-in-law or mother-in-law's control ability has been "attenuated", and the young couple is in control of their own lives, and the relationship between the two parties is more stable.
Wedding Pinduoduo: There is no bride price, from the wedding banquet to the wedding supplies to the honeymoon trip, both men and women contribute a part, and the remaining money is used as the start-up capital for the happy new life of the young couple.
Marriage Pinduoduo: also known as two-headed marriage, it is neither a man marrying a woman, nor a woman's family. There is also a slip of the tongue: don't come and go, don't go in or out, don't marry or don't marry, the two families fight.
Compared with the "patchwork" marriage spelled out by the Daliangshan bride price, Shanghai Pinduoduo marriage is a more modern way of marriage. For both men and women, whether emotionally or economically, they are relatively independent, support each other, have no burden and no guilt for each other, and their future lives are completely based on the management of both parties. Such marriages are more stable, more harmonious, and longer-lasting.
From Daliang Mountain to Shanghai, it is not only a geographical distance. From a patchwork marriage to a multi-story marriage, it is not only a change in concept, but also an innovation in lifestyle. Pinduoduo marriage has become a way of life that breaks the traditional concept of marriage.
Pinduoduo marriage is not the only model of all good marriages, however, it is the one that is easier to achieve happiness among the many marriage models. Life is not a puzzle and should not be pieced together; Marriage is not a sale, but it can be a lot. May there be no more "shopping" bride price in the world, and may all lovers become dependents