-01
People who like you and people who don't like you, what is the difference between WeChat chat?
How a person likes your chat:
will take the initiative to chat with you, and have a strong desire to share when getting along with you;
Seeing your message, it will respond to you quickly and won't make you wait too long;
The state of your chat is relaxed, harmonious, and there are contacts and contacts, and you will not feel embarrassed;
You can feel the emotional need to be understood, heard, and cared for in the other person;
Your chats are rarely "cold";
You say "the weather is so nice today", and they will take a picture of the window and send it to you.
Your interaction and chat patterns are positive and effective.
A person doesn't like the way you chat:
Say "good night" and see each other again in the game;
After saying "I'm going to take a bath", I haven't replied to your message for half a month;
The interval between replies to your messages is hardly less than a few hours;
The frequency of replies to your messages tends to be "intermittent, filtered";
often use some "modal words" to perfunctory you and change the topic;
Doesn't respond positively to your questions and shows obvious resistance to chatting with you;
If you don't take the initiative to find him, he will not take the initiative to find you;
Every time you chat, you take the initiative to find various topics to chat with him;
You're like a people-pleaser who stands low from the start and doesn't get basic respect.
-02
"Where there is no response, there is a desperate situation"
If you don't get a response once, love won't disappear;
Every time I don't get a response, I have accumulated a lot of disappointment, and love is gone.
By "not being answered", we don't just mean that:
The other person does not reply to your messages, the other person does not respond to your efforts, including being with the other person, you always feel lonely, anxious, depressed and irritable.
For example:
The other party often gives you an "illusion of love", and the chat will reply to you, and he will accept the gift you give him;
On weekdays, he cares about you, but when you want to further determine the relationship, the other party avoids the problem.
Pay but never get a response from the other party, and the emotions invested are never seen as "emotional benefits".
Your expectations are disappointed again and again, and the disappointments accumulate too much, and you become numb.
Lost the courage, motivation and patience to love each other.
Relationships that don't get responded to are really hurtful.
The process of loving someone goes like this:
In the beginning, you love each other very much and are willing to give everything for each other without expecting anything in return;
Over time, there are subtle changes in your feelings and mindset, and you begin to expect something in return;
When the other person doesn't give you any response, you will be anxious, sad, and miserable......
These negative emotions only need a fuse to become "the last straw that destroys your emotions".
Not being responded to is the greatest emotional trauma to people.
Therefore, the place where there is no response is the emotional desperation of people.
-03
People's appeal in relationships is to "be seen"
Pursuit Phase:
The WeChat you send to the other party, the emotions you invest, and the materials you pay, all expect the other party to see them;
Even if the other person will not give you the same material feedback, as long as the other person can reply to the message, give you some emotional value, even if it is to express gratitude, you can continue to persevere.
In the process of getting along:
Once the relationship is confirmed, you must get a response from the other party before you can continue.
If you don't get a response and don't see what you give, you will get angry.
This kind of anger will make you move towards an "accusatory personality" and towards emotional instability.
For example:
In most marital relationships, one of the spouses has an "accusatory personality".
On weekends, my wife is not idle at home, doing housework, cooking, and tutoring children's homework;
The husband had dinner and drinks with friends, and when he came home, he lay on the sofa.
The wife was angry and scolded her husband.
What is the root cause of the wife's anger?
It was she who had a busy day at home and gave so much, but she was not seen by her husband.
Even if the husband praises her, praises her, and comes home to bring her a small gift, the wife will not be angry.
At the heart of her anger were:
"I give so much, why do you feel at ease? Is this home my own? ”
The accusation and anger in intimate relationships often hide the "unseen emotional need".
Why does love hurt?
Because if there is expectation, there will be disappointment.
Why is it tiring to like a person?
Because you don't necessarily get the same reward for everything you put in.
Topic:
What do you do when you don't get a response?
Author He Suohuan:
Focus on the analysis of gender emotion, marriage and family, character growth, social relationships, etc., follow me to bring you more knowledge.