Ever since my father-in-law, Li Ming, and mother-in-law, Yang Hua, had become impoverished because of that failed investment, they had moved into our house. My wife, Li Xiao, and I were very sympathetic to this sudden change, and we had planned to let them stay for a few days until our lives were back on track. My father-in-law, Li Ming, and my mother-in-law, Yang Hua, were originally preparing to enjoy their old age, but life was always unsatisfactory, and we were naturally willing to help as much as we could, even if it meant that our living space became crowded.
When we first arrived, my parents-in-law were curious about our daily life and always tried their best to adapt to our daily habits. Li Ming seems to be very interested in the books at home, and he often picks up a book and flips through it unhurriedly. Yang Hua, on the other hand, prefers to help with housework, although her approach is a little different from mine, but out of respect for her elders, I didn't say much.
However, as time passed, a series of small problems slowly surfaced. My father-in-law, Li Ming, likes to watch the news at night, and the volume is often turned up so loudly that the sound of the TV in the living room constantly disturbs my time and that of my wife, Li Xiao, in our private time. I pretended to be calm and made a suggestion in the hope that my father-in-law would lower his voice, but he always smiled and waved his hand, as if he didn't take my words to heart.
My mother-in-law, Yang Hua, has a habit of practicing Peking Opera every morning, and although I understand that this is her interest, it is unbearable to be woken up in the morning by the high-pitched singing of Peking Opera. I tried to communicate with her, hoping that she could practice at a more suitable time, but she laughed and said, "I'm older, my voice is not good, and it will be more uncomfortable if I don't sing." ”
My wife and I often hear our parents-in-law talking to us in the kitchen. Although their voices were sporadic and fragmented, the worry and uneasiness in their words were clearly audible. They don't want to be a burden to us, but they have nowhere to go. I knew in my heart that they were just hoping to be cared for and comforted by their children in their old age.
At the same time, I feel that my wife, Li Xiao, is also trying to adapt to the changes in the family pattern. When we talked in bed at night, she always showed concern for her parents and gratitude for me. However, even so, we felt privately that this pattern of life could not last long.
Especially that weekend, my father-in-law, Li Ming, stopped us when we were about to go out: "Son-in-law, I want to watch a football match today, can you come back earlier?" I replied awkwardly, "Father-in-law, we'll do our best." Mother-in-law Yang Hua immediately interjected: "Help me buy some peanuts when I go out, and chew two when I sing, my voice will feel better." His wife Li Xiao agreed with a smile.
After a day of walking outside, when we came home tired and found the TV in the living room deafening, I couldn't help but feel a little bored. I began to wonder, what has become of "my own home"? Perhaps, this is exactly what my wife and I need to think about together.
But even with a lot of thoughts, in the face of the eyes of the elders, I still behaved politely, trying not to let my emotions affect the atmosphere of this home. Because no matter what, they are elders and relatives after all.
As the days of the father-in-law and mother-in-law at home are increasing day by day, the initial small frictions are also accumulating little by little into problems that cannot be ignored. The kitchen became the place where we had the most conflict. My father-in-law, Li Ming, prefers spicy food from my hometown, while I am more accustomed to light flavors, and my wife, Li Xiao, sits between the two of us, trying to balance the needs of both parties. Whenever I asked to change the menu, my mother-in-law, Yang Hua, would always respond in her non-angry and arrogant tone: "This is the taste of our family all along, you young people should not be picky." ”
The issue of the distribution of living expenses has also become a thorny issue between us. We used to be a family of two, but suddenly there were two more elders at home, and the original expense plan was no longer applicable. In this regard, the father-in-law and mother-in-law obviously have a lot of opinions. "Son-in-law, although we don't have a pension, we can't watch you young people carry these living expenses." Father-in-law Li Ming said worriedly in an after-dinner conversation. I replied, "Father-in-law, please don't worry, I'll figure it out." ”
The future arrangement is a headache. Countless times, when my parents-in-law asked me what they were going to do, I avoided the question with silence. It's not that I haven't thought about it, and I even have the answer in my heart, but whenever the words come to my lips and I see their expectant eyes, I feel like I can't speak.
Parents-in-law are almost everywhere in our lives, and they always like to meddle in the little things between us as a couple, such as how I manage my salary, whether we should consider having children, and even how my wife, Li Xiao, should take care of the housework more efficiently. Obviously, this makes me feel very suffocated, and sometimes I would vent to my bedside wife in the dead of night: "I'm really fed up, why do they care so much?" ”
My wife, Li Xiao, understood my predicament, and she held my hand gently but firmly: "Husband, I know it's difficult, but after all, they are my parents and our family, and we have to understand them." "I knew my wife was right, so I didn't lose my mind despite the difficult circumstances.
Our relationship also began to become strained by these small frictions in our lives, and how to deal with our relationship with our parents-in-law became a difficult problem for us as a couple. We often argued under the covers until late at night. My wife, Li Xiao, said to me: "Husband, I also think that my parents' current state is not suitable for living with us. I held her hand, and in the middle of the night our eyes looked at each other for a solution.
In this way, everything about life breeds an atmosphere that is more and more unbearable, and I begin to really feel that I am overwhelmed by Tarzan, but my heart is becoming more and more painful, difficult to speak.
The pressures of life are accumulating, and every member of the family can feel this breathless heaviness. Finally, on that summer afternoon in full swing, the family atmosphere finally reached a breaking point.
After lunch that day, his father-in-law Li Ming mentioned the issue of family expenses again, and his tone was full of helplessness and worry: "Son-in-law, these days, you bear all the expenses of the family alone, and the old couple is not happy. ”
I tried to keep my composure, even though there was a lot of resentment brewing in my heart: "Father-in-law, I know, but we have to find a long-term solution." Mother-in-law Yang Hua held the unfinished soup and looked at us worriedly: "How is this good, we don't want to cause trouble to you." ”
His wife Li Xiao looked at each other's embarrassment and tried to ease the atmosphere: "Dad, Mom, we will figure out a way, don't worry too much." ”
But the problem was not solved by such comfort, and that night, the family's electricity bill was lying on the dining table, adding to the already tense atmosphere.
"We've got to talk about the family." Father-in-law Li Ming said with a frown. The fire in my heart was as uncontrollable as a wildfire burning in the prairie at this time, and I rushed out desperately: "I've really had enough! I don't want to live like this anymore! ”
My words were like breaking the dam of silence, all the dull emotions erupted at this moment, and it seemed that all the worries and dissatisfaction were released at this moment: "I just want a peaceful life, I just want a space that is not disturbed, is it too difficult?" ”
My wife, Li Xiao's face turned pale, and she looked at me with shock and disbelief in her eyes. The father-in-law and mother-in-law were stunned for a few seconds, and then Li Ming was silent, while Yang Hua was red, and a few tears slipped down.
"Husband, how can you say that?" The wife's voice was choked, and there was reproach and sadness in her tone, "They are my parents after all, and they are also our family......"
I took a deep breath and felt guilty: "Wife, I'm ...... I'm sorry. But I was short of words and couldn't express all my apologies, and at that moment, I realized that my emotions had already reached a critical point, and I couldn't hide my long-suppressed true thoughts.
Suddenly, the clock in the kitchen made a ticking sound, and each stroke seemed to echo the explosion of emotions just now. The air seemed to freeze, and everyone fell into a wordless silence. At that moment, everyone's heart seemed to reflect on what the future should be.
In the days following the clashes, the atmosphere in the home was like a storm in its wake. We were all more or less avoiding each other's eyes, trying to apply a little healing ointment to the wounds in our hearts. However, the embarrassment and guilt in the silence can be felt all the time.
Yes, I feel guilty for the moment when I couldn't control my emotions, for those sharp words that pierced my parents-in-law's heart. These nights I tossed and turned, struggling in the abyss of self-condemnation.
The following weekend, my father-in-law, Li Ming, offered to do a family meeting with us. At the dinner table, the four of us sat around, and the atmosphere seemed a little solemn. The father-in-law spoke earnestly: "Son-in-law, we listened to what you said that day. It's not that we want to cause trouble for you, and we don't want to see this family stop being in harmony because of us. ”
Mother-in-law Yang Hua added calmly: "We have already contacted our distant relatives and are ready to go to live with them in two days." We are old and want a quiet old age. In her eyes, there was no attack, only anticipation for the future and understanding of us.
His wife Li Xiao listened quietly, with tears in her eyes: "Dad, Mom, I'm really sorry, there is no better arrangement for you." I silently held her hand, feeling the warmth and support coming from the palm of my hand.
I know that this is not only the decision of my parents-in-law, but also the deep expectation of my wife and me. We look forward to having a space of our own, looking forward to being able to regain our original peace and simplicity. I took a deep breath and said to my parents-in-law seriously, "You two have worked hard, and in the future, no matter where you are, we will often come to visit you." This home will always be your warm haven. ”
After deciding to move out of my parents-in-law, my wife and I began to re-examine our lives. We've been silent for so long that we've lost our way in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, and now we're finally able to talk together about our plans for the future, about our dreams, about what this little family should look like.
Perhaps, this turmoil is a necessary pain, which makes us understand that the true meaning of home is not how many people can be accommodated, but about understanding and respect for each other. Knowing how to let go and knowing how to give space is also a deep love between family members.
On the day we saw off our parents-in-law, my wife Li Xiao and I stood in front of the door, looking at the slowly departing vehicle. We didn't cry, we just looked at each other silently, but our hearts were full of expectations and the future. The sun shines down from the clouds, illuminating the smiles on our faces and the home that is back in our hands.