There are two main types of love between men and women: love at first sight and long-term love.
Love at first sight, stunning, romantic, makes people blush and heartbeat. And the long-term love, plain, warm, and reassuring.
Most people have never met someone who fell in love at first sight, and the partner who finally came together was the one who fell in love for a long time.
Two people who have been in love for a long time have a more stable relationship, a more harmonious relationship, and a longer one.
So, what makes two people go from strangeness to familiarity, and what makes that faint good feeling slowly sublimate into deep emotions?
Some people say that it is the precipitation of time; Some people say that it is the fermentation of feelings.
These claims are true, but they are not specific enough. In my opinion, behind the long-term love between men and women, there are none other than the following three truths.
01. Frequent contact and mutual habituation
Every encounter in life is a weaving of fate.
For men and women, frequent contact is like a trickle in the river of emotion, quietly nourishing each other's hearts.
In the exchange of work, study or daily chat, the two people gradually get used to each other's existence.
I got used to the way the other party spoke, got used to the other party's style of doing things, and even got used to some of the other party's minor problems.
This habit is not a deliberate arrangement, but an unconscious accumulation, it is like a seed, taking root and sprouting unconsciously.
In the corner of the café, you may see them sitting side by side, talking about their joys and sorrows; In the office late at night, maybe they'll work late for a project and share a late-night snack.
These seemingly ordinary pictures are testimonies of their emotional growth.
Their conversations are no longer confined to the surface, but delve into the details of life, even the depths of the soul.
They began to care about each other's emotions and care about each other's lives, and every eye contact, every physical touch, was quietly narrowing the distance.
Such a habit is like a spring breeze, warm and unconscious.
02. Experience together and trust each other
If habits are the soil of emotions, then shared experiences are the nutrients of this emotion.
The ups and downs, joys and sorrows on the road of life are the touchstone of the relationship between the two.
When they support each other in difficult situations, overcome difficulties together, or celebrate successes together, those unforgettable moments make their emotions warm up unconsciously.
A trip, a challenge, a collaboration, or even a difficult time together can make their trust grow like a vine.
Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship. And between men and women, it is a catalyst for love.
When they begin to trust each other unconditionally, show their vulnerability to each other, and entrust their secrets to each other, that trust becomes the most precious thing in their hearts.
In each other's eyes, they see their own shadow and hope for the future. This trust allows them to dare to face the doubts of the outside world, dare to meet the challenges of life, and dare to step into the unknown journey together.
As the old saying goes, "adversity sees the truth", the common experience makes their trust deeper and their relationship more unbreakable.
03. Psychological needs, emotional dependence
Everyone has a psychological need to be understood, accepted, and supported.
When two people spend a long time together and find that each other can meet these needs, that emotional dependence arises spontaneously.
They begin to realize that the presence of the other person is the source of their happiness and their harbor of peace of mind.
After a busy day, a phone call can dispel all fatigue; When you encounter trouble, a hug can dissolve all your worries.
They became each other's spiritual pillars and became an indispensable part of life.
This emotional dependence is not a one-sided take, but a two-way giving.
They listened to each other, comforted each other, encouraged each other, and formed a tacit understanding that cannot be expressed in words.
In this dependence, they find peace of mind and joy in life.
They begin to plan for the future, look forward to tomorrow, and even fantasize about growing old together.
This dependence is their deepest commitment to each other, and it is also the most beautiful expectation for this relationship. It transcends the material and touches the soul as an indispensable force in their lives.
04.
Affection over time is not only the sublimation of emotions, but also the integration of life.
In this process, both parties have learned to cherish, learn to tolerate, and learn how to love.
Therefore, when we see those old couples around us, we might as well think about it, maybe this is the best proof - time is the best emotional mentor, it teaches us how to love, how to wait.
Every couple in the world who is in love over time has their own story.
Their story tells us that love is not a vigorous passion, but a long stream of companionship. It doesn't need flowery rhetoric, nor does it need to be deliberately decorated, it only needs two hearts that are willing to give their hearts to each other.
Because, true love is not a momentary spark, but a lifetime of waiting.