Original | Trust and understanding, the "anchor of the sea" in marriage
Preface
Marriage is a commitment for two people to spend their lives together, the crystallization of the sublimation of love, and an important part of emotional life. In marriage, trust and understanding between husband and wife are crucial, they are like a pair of "anchors", which can help couples stay calm when they encounter storms in the ocean of feelings, resolve crises, and make each other's feelings firmer.
Recently, an incident happened around me that made me more deeply aware of the importance of trust and understanding in marriage, and also made me realize that only when both husband and wife can be honest with each other, tolerant and understanding, can they face all kinds of difficulties and challenges together and make each other's relationship better.
1. The crisis caused by misunderstanding
Xiao Pan and Xiao Li are a couple next to them, they have been married for seven years, and they have been living a happy life since their marriage. Xiao Pan is a teacher who is usually very busy at work, while Xiao Li works in marketing at a company, and the nature of their work is different, so they don't usually communicate much.
Some time ago, Xiao Pan needed to cooperate with a colleague of the opposite sex because of work matters, and because this colleague had a strong work ability, Xiao Pan had a close working relationship with her. At first, Xiao Li didn't pay much attention to this, and he would take the initiative to ask Xiao Pan about his work at home, hoping to learn some useful information from it.
However, as time went on, Xiao Li began to feel a little uncomfortable, as he found that Xiao Pan and the opposite sex colleague chatted for longer and longer periods, sometimes even ending late. Coupled with the fact that he happened to see some chat logs in Xiao Pan's mobile phone, this made him feel some suspicion and uneasiness in his heart.
At first, he didn't tell Xiao Pan what he thought, but silently endured the pressure, however, his mood became more and more depressed, and sometimes he even lost his temper with Xiao Pan. Xiao Pan was very confused by this, she didn't understand why Xiao Li's mood became so low, she thought that something was wrong with her work, so she kept trying to adjust herself, wanting to make Xiao Li happy.
However, just when their marriage was in crisis, Xiao Li couldn't help but tell Xiao Pan about his suspicions, he felt that the relationship between Xiao Pan and the colleague of the opposite sex was not simple, which made Xiao Pan feel very hurt and aggrieved, and she felt that everything she did was not understood and supported by Xiao Li.
Second, there is a crisis of trust, and marriage is in jeopardy
A crisis of trust came quietly, it was like a sharp sword, directly inserted into the relationship between Xiao Pan and Xiao Li, making their originally beautiful marriage in jeopardy.
For the third party in marriage, many people will think that it refers to external people or things, however, in real life, the most terrible third party is often not the external person, but some negative emotions, such as suspicion, distrust, etc.
Xiao Li's suspicion and distrust, like a time bomb, constantly hit Xiao Pan's heart, and Xiao Pan's helplessness and grievances made Xiao Li's heart full of guilt and self-blame, he began to reflect on his behavior, and also understood that his suspicion and distrust were the most fundamental reasons for the tension between the two.
In marriage, trust and understanding are very important, only when both husband and wife can be honest with each other and tolerate each other, can a solid emotional foundation be established, and once there is distrust and suspicion, it will make the original strong relationship crack, or even rupture.
3. Communication and understanding to resolve the crisis
Faced with the crisis of trust in their marriage, Xiao Pan and Xiao Li did not choose to escape, but faced it bravely, they began to communicate in depth, Xiao Pan told Xiao Li his heart, telling him that he actually had no other thoughts about his work colleagues, but felt that she was very capable of work and could learn a lot from it.
Through Xiao Pan's honesty and honesty, Xiao Li's heart slowly began to change, and he understood how ridiculous his suspicions were, and also understood that his distrust was the most fundamental cause of the tension between the two.
In this process, they also learned how to listen and understand each other, understood the importance of communication, and began to slowly think about problems from each other's perspectives, and learned how to look at things from each other's point of view, so that the distance between them was slowly narrowed.
Through in-depth communication and understanding, Xiao Pan and Xiao Li finally succeeded in resolving this marital crisis, and their relationship became stronger, because they understood that the crisis in the original marriage was not a kind of injury, but a growth and sublimation, and only through joint efforts and overcoming could they make each other's feelings better.
IV. Conclusion
Marriage is a never-ending road, full of ups and downs, laughter and tears, and the trust and understanding between husband and wife is like a beacon that can illuminate the way forward for each other.
When there is a crack in trust, we should learn how to be honest with each other, tolerate and understand, and when contradictions and problems arise, we should learn how to communicate in depth, listen to and understand each other's thoughts and feelings, because only in this way can the sunshine of marriage never be covered by the haze, and can make each other's feelings more firm and beautiful.
I hope that all husbands and wives can spend their lives together, whether it is wind and rain or sunshine, they can have each other's company and go through every journey in marriage together.